#338 – Drawer

I’m picky about the flatware I use. I tend to favor shorter utensils with rounded edges. I can’t stand sets that have a thin handle with hard edges. They cut into my fingers and get in the way of me enjoying my meal. Because of this we spent a long time picking out the set to put on our wedding registry. As the wedding grew near we were informed that our choice had been discontinued so we had to go through the whole process again. After doing all of that it turned out that this was the only major thing that we didn’t get off of our registry. We’re still using the hand me down utensils that are from my house when I was a kid.


39 thoughts on “#338 – Drawer”

  1. Chuck says:

    I hope he washes them really well before sticking them in his mouth.

  2. MoosePhysh says:

    But what about the dish?

  3. Chuck says:

    The spoon cheated on it. And after running away together. *shakes head*

  4. .dantheman says:

    I swear I came across what looked like a cross between a spatula and a pastry cutter, but I could never explain it… until now! Wonder why I didn’t assume this from the beginning.

    @MoosePhysh: that took me an extra second 😀

  5. CaliRaisin says:

    Now we just need to introduce a knife into the breeding process… I’m so tired of using both hands while eating 😛

  6. Matthew says:

    They hand out sporks at my local KFC with the baked beans/colesaw/etc… I find them one hilarious abuse of cutlery.

  7. MOD says:

    its not as bad as knorks. knives and forks? what isthe point? howcan you hold something in place and cut it, with the same utensil?! its just not possible!

  8. Sleepingorange says:

    MOD: Not necessarily impossible, if you utilized some sort of pivot. It could be a cross between scissors and a rotary cutter: you’d stab your food with the fork part and rotate the attached-but-separate knife-type-utensil. You’d get a nice, straight cut every time!

    But, who ever heard of a knork anyways?

  9. Seraphine says:

    I hate sporks, but
    I like the word spork
    almost as much as I like smock
    and ameretto. I keep
    ameretto in my drawers
    next to the screws.

  10. Bob says:

    This is the third time ive thought of this idea, would taking a normal fork, pounding one of the pins on the edge so its like a triangle shape, and then serating it like a steak knife, and doing the other side smoth? like a sharp butter knife? would anyone buy such an invention? you could use the serated side to cut steak, and the flat edge to open the potato, and cut those carrots in your meal? the serated idea is probobly a bad one, as someone can cut their mouth, but the smoth edge doesnt have to be razor sharp, just slightly dull

  11. Ben says:

    Atleast he didn’t get FREDs.
    They are what they army supply as an eating and can opening utensil.
    I won’t explain what they look like, you won’t understand how stupid they are, go down to your disposals store and have a look for them.
    FRED stands for F*cking Ridiculous Eating Device, and that is what it is.

  12. Noble says:

    FREDs do look pretty ridiculous. Similar to the P-38; pictures can be found hre for the curious (like me): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P-38_can_opener

  13. Radical Edward says:

    Spooning leads to forking…

    Well, Biff learned that the hard way.

    As for me, I still remember a scene from that show Andy Richter did. The employees complain about the utensils being in ridiculous combinations.

    1. Rik says:

      bollocks, I was going to say that

  14. catfriedrice says:

    I have a spork hanging in every vehicle I drive. It’s ma lucky charm, and a lifesaver if I visit places that forget to give me one

  15. RFPT says:

    you know what this reminds me of? that old ctrl-alt-del strip where Chef Brian has a thought of a spoon being ‘forked’.

  16. Gobbledegook says:

    Thanks Noble, I was curious.

    Those things are breeding like rats… at least Biff gets some free cutlery out of it.
    If the knives got together with the spoons, would you have knoons or spives?

  17. Ali says:

    i love this one, they are breeding….very funny

  18. Nick Steele says:

    I found this site through the bladesmith’s forum (forums.dfoggknives.com) i’m fairly sure that more people than myself are regular readers now, too
    aaanyway, there’s 2000 people there who can make you custom cutlery, or, if you visit the forums, you could pick up enough info about the methods used to make cutlery to make your own set.
    i know this post’s peanut-ish, so ignore me if i’m disturbing anyone.

  19. Micah says:

    He seems more curious than pissed.

  20. Miranda McEwin says:

    I own a metal spork that I use every day. I have to hide it from my friends when they come over.

  21. Buzzardo says:

    Deep in a draw lined with cork
    There were some spoons and some forks
    That bunch of flatware
    Caused such a clatter
    Now I have nothing but sporks

  22. Valerie says:

    I’m exactly the same way when it comes to my silverware. In my home, we have two sets of silverware. One is heavier and rounded and the other is more flat. I feel like I can bend and break the second set. Therefore, I always use the more rounded set.

  23. chrome says:

    genius! homemade sporks! the ultimate eating utensil! thank you biff!

  24. Retro says:

    Wow, late comment, but I just found the site today. We went through a bunch of flatware sets before our wedding, and finally picked one we really liked. Bridal shower comes around and the ladies from my (now) wifes church present her with a flatware set…that wasn’t the one we picked out, and was actually one that we had both agreed we disliked intensely. Lady presenting it to her says, and I quote “Oh, we saw the one you picked out, but we didn’t like it, so we got this one instead” We were just happy it was the same price as ours and the store let us exchange them.

  25. JarkJark Binks says:

    Those naughty, naughty utensils

  26. Deteramot says:

    He. Fork sex….

  27. Nokore says:

    Wanna spoon? I’d rather fork.

    10 points to whomever gets the reference here. >>

  28. Alice Love says:

    Same concept happens with coat hangers and ketchup packets. I swear I only have two but then by the end of the month, I have like 300. Seriously.

  29. Lich King says:

    so which is the father….. the spoon….or the fork.
    and whens the wedding

  30. mrmeval says:

    Hand me downs are good. They’re already worn and familiar. If for some reason you want to brighten them some flitz polish will do well. If they are in bad shape and have no engraving or decorations then a sisal wheel and some
    http://www.caswellplating.com/buffs/buffing.htm buffing compound will do. Black works fairly well then follow with another wheel using white. This tends to make cheap flatware look expensive and if you start with a more agressive grit it will round the edges.

  31. Twigs says:

    Scandal! 😮
    This reminds me of Jon Richardson.

  32. Jenny Creed says:

    Obviously you have to keep forks and spoons separate to maintain their populations. If they’re all busy making hybrids with each other, eventually you’re going to have to buy new utensils.

  33. Sporkinator says:

    I don’t see a problem.

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