#338 – Drawer
Posted on September 20, 2007 at 12:00 am by Chris
Chapter: Comics
I’m picky about the flatware I use. I tend to favor shorter utensils with rounded edges. I can’t stand sets that have a thin handle with hard edges. They cut into my fingers and get in the way of me enjoying my meal. Because of this we spent a long time picking out the set to put on our wedding registry. As the wedding grew near we were informed that our choice had been discontinued so we had to go through the whole process again. After doing all of that it turned out that this was the only major thing that we didn’t get off of our registry. We’re still using the hand me down utensils that are from my house when I was a kid.
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I hope he washes them really well before sticking them in his mouth.
But what about the dish?
The spoon cheated on it. And after running away together. *shakes head*
I swear I came across what looked like a cross between a spatula and a pastry cutter, but I could never explain it… until now! Wonder why I didn’t assume this from the beginning.
@MoosePhysh: that took me an extra second 😀
Now we just need to introduce a knife into the breeding process… I’m so tired of using both hands while eating 😛
Classic. XD
They hand out sporks at my local KFC with the baked beans/colesaw/etc… I find them one hilarious abuse of cutlery.
its not as bad as knorks. knives and forks? what isthe point? howcan you hold something in place and cut it, with the same utensil?! its just not possible!
MOD: Not necessarily impossible, if you utilized some sort of pivot. It could be a cross between scissors and a rotary cutter: you’d stab your food with the fork part and rotate the attached-but-separate knife-type-utensil. You’d get a nice, straight cut every time!
But, who ever heard of a knork anyways?
I hate sporks, but
I like the word spork
almost as much as I like smock
and ameretto. I keep
ameretto in my drawers
next to the screws.
This is the third time ive thought of this idea, would taking a normal fork, pounding one of the pins on the edge so its like a triangle shape, and then serating it like a steak knife, and doing the other side smoth? like a sharp butter knife? would anyone buy such an invention? you could use the serated side to cut steak, and the flat edge to open the potato, and cut those carrots in your meal? the serated idea is probobly a bad one, as someone can cut their mouth, but the smoth edge doesnt have to be razor sharp, just slightly dull
Atleast he didn’t get FREDs.
They are what they army supply as an eating and can opening utensil.
I won’t explain what they look like, you won’t understand how stupid they are, go down to your disposals store and have a look for them.
FRED stands for F*cking Ridiculous Eating Device, and that is what it is.
FREDs do look pretty ridiculous. Similar to the P-38; pictures can be found hre for the curious (like me): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P-38_can_opener
Spooning leads to forking…
Well, Biff learned that the hard way.
As for me, I still remember a scene from that show Andy Richter did. The employees complain about the utensils being in ridiculous combinations.
bollocks, I was going to say that
I have a spork hanging in every vehicle I drive. It’s ma lucky charm, and a lifesaver if I visit places that forget to give me one
you know what this reminds me of? that old ctrl-alt-del strip where Chef Brian has a thought of a spoon being ‘forked’.
ha-HA! classic
Thanks Noble, I was curious.
Those things are breeding like rats… at least Biff gets some free cutlery out of it.
If the knives got together with the spoons, would you have knoons or spives?
i love this one, they are breeding….very funny
This is just… cute.
well…..
I found this site through the bladesmith’s forum (forums.dfoggknives.com) i’m fairly sure that more people than myself are regular readers now, too
aaanyway, there’s 2000 people there who can make you custom cutlery, or, if you visit the forums, you could pick up enough info about the methods used to make cutlery to make your own set.
i know this post’s peanut-ish, so ignore me if i’m disturbing anyone.
He seems more curious than pissed.
I own a metal spork that I use every day. I have to hide it from my friends when they come over.
Deep in a draw lined with cork
There were some spoons and some forks
That bunch of flatware
Caused such a clatter
Now I have nothing but sporks
I’m exactly the same way when it comes to my silverware. In my home, we have two sets of silverware. One is heavier and rounded and the other is more flat. I feel like I can bend and break the second set. Therefore, I always use the more rounded set.
It’s late, but I just found this and thought it suitable.
http://bentobjects.blogspot.com/2007/04/on-run-from-mack-knife.html
EW.
genius! homemade sporks! the ultimate eating utensil! thank you biff!
Wow, late comment, but I just found the site today. We went through a bunch of flatware sets before our wedding, and finally picked one we really liked. Bridal shower comes around and the ladies from my (now) wifes church present her with a flatware set…that wasn’t the one we picked out, and was actually one that we had both agreed we disliked intensely. Lady presenting it to her says, and I quote “Oh, we saw the one you picked out, but we didn’t like it, so we got this one instead” We were just happy it was the same price as ours and the store let us exchange them.
Those naughty, naughty utensils
He. Fork sex….
Wanna spoon? I’d rather fork.
10 points to whomever gets the reference here. >>
Same concept happens with coat hangers and ketchup packets. I swear I only have two but then by the end of the month, I have like 300. Seriously.
so which is the father….. the spoon….or the fork.
and whens the wedding
Hand me downs are good. They’re already worn and familiar. If for some reason you want to brighten them some flitz polish will do well. If they are in bad shape and have no engraving or decorations then a sisal wheel and some
http://www.caswellplating.com/buffs/buffing.htm buffing compound will do. Black works fairly well then follow with another wheel using white. This tends to make cheap flatware look expensive and if you start with a more agressive grit it will round the edges.
Scandal! 😮
This reminds me of Jon Richardson.
Obviously you have to keep forks and spoons separate to maintain their populations. If they’re all busy making hybrids with each other, eventually you’re going to have to buy new utensils.
I don’t see a problem.