#905 – Phlegm

I suppose it’s only a matter of time before something like this is sold in drug stores. “Lose weight and build abs of steel in only 3 weeks with no dieting!” You pay $20 at the pharmacy and they let you into a back room where someone that is already sick coughs on you.


25 thoughts on “#905 – Phlegm”

  1. Flame says:

    sounds useful XD

  2. Shorty says:

    I have to admit, that’s one virus I wouldn’t mind having.

  3. Space Butler says:

    Who wouldn’t want the six pack virus? In real life people have used tapeworms to lose weight.

  4. Ray A. says:

    I remember Jay Mohr on a talk show several years back, talking about how he’d just dropped 8 pounds using this new weight loss method. “It’s called the flu,” he added.

    Also the only time I’ve ever laughed at something Jay Mohr said.

  5. Eleanor says:

    Drat, and I just had four vaccinations.

  6. soilent says:

    The sixpack virus… That’s something for the local bio engineering class :3

    Anyway, I think Hiccups are far better suited for that ^^

  7. John says:

    I’d love that virus.

    …oh god a virus/sick comic week string of comics is coming, I just realized that.

    oh well, yay! I like sick comics lol

  8. TJovian says:

    Any time I have the flu, I drop about 15 lbs in a week. And when I do, every one tells me I look freakishly like a walking corpse.

  9. baughbe says:

    Great, then somebody will genetically engineer a virus for the biceps… I don’t even want to think about what that will entail when you catch it.

  10. ZeoViolet says:

    As a person with asthma whose bouts with the flu leave her coughing for three months afterwards, and who paid up this season for both a flu shot and an H1N1 shot, I say…

    ….no way! I’m not *that* desperate!

  11. Chris says:

    @TJovian – I once was so sick I missed 2 weeks of work. When I came back I got a lot of “Hey you’re back… oh man… are you OK?”

  12. Kit-Kun says:

    In ChemII I sit with my friends and laugh alot. I keep saying by the end of the year, my abs will be fantastic!

  13. Xavi says:

    Only thing that ever did that for me was whooping cough. Sucked at the time, but gave me the nicest abs I’ve ever had, seriously.
    My crazy parents skipped that vaccination for some reason, and never told me about it. Maybe they wanted me to develop abs?

  14. Church says:

    Nice now we need a virus for Biceps. If only we could have those then i wouldn’t be 6’1″ and 120 lbs. Oh well i can still run faster than anyone i know 🙂

  15. MaskedMan says:

    I’ve had that bug, though I think mine was a bacteria rather than a virus. It lead to a deep lung infection which prompted much hard, hacking coughing over the course of about a month. Abs of titanium when I got better… But my throat felt as if it had been scrubbed with steel wool.

  16. Hershey says:

    I have the lowest immune system in the world, and this comic just reminded me I haven’t gotten sick yet this school year. Great.
    I’ve never managed to lose weight or get muscle from being sick, my body likes its fat xD

  17. Libramen says:

    Interestingly enough, I don’t often get sick, and I very rarely remain sick for more than three days. Despite the fact that I eat about the worst food possible.

    My body has a polar opposite reaction to everything <.<

  18. Cerulean Dragon says:

    Hah, this one hits home, I had a fever of 103 for 3 days about 2 weeks ago and then a persistent cough which still isn’t gone. But coughing so much is killing my stomach muscles, I can’t cough without pain now. I wonder if I’ll actually have stronger stomach muscles coming out of this… I hope that’s a bright side. 🙂

  19. Linzleh says:

    So we are assuming Biff has been “swined” and recovered…just like most of us. Way to go Biff, nice abs! NEWSFLASH: Biceps, symptom of the dreaded “Falling face first virus, Topple1,” hits the nation…

  20. no name says:

    I think the longest I’ve missed is 6 days. Well, 8 if you count the weekend. But anyway, I got lots of “YOU’RE ALIVE!”

  21. Random says:

    I usually don’t get sick, but the past few days I was, still am :(.

  22. gelugon2105 says:

    That is a rather disturbing description of a possible but very unethical weight lost program.

  23. Radical Edward says:

    I once had a stomach virus for 3 months. I barely ate anything that wasn’t a type of pasta. I went from 235 lbs to 212 lbs. I am glad to be back to normal though. I was sick with a sinus infection. I barely ate throughout the day, but when I was hungry I would scarf down a whole box of stuffing.

  24. Rick says:

    I just read this now, and it coincides with a sudden bout of flu in my neighborhood. I’m hoping this one gives me awesome abs.

  25. kikkoman says:

    hmm, same week that i get swine flu…

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