#403 – Striped

Some candy is sold in a size that makes it difficult to finish eating. I was really excited one Christmas when my grandparents got me a giant candy cane. It was exciting at first. I would sit and lick it for awhile and then wrap it up and then come back a half hour later and nibble on it some more. Eventually I got bored of it and the next time I picked it up it had gone all soft and sticky. The same thing happened with my baseball sized gobstopper, the 12″ tall solid chocolate bunny and my rock candy Christmas tree. I once got my friend Chris an entire case of Cadbury creme eggs for his birthday. He apparently finished all 5 pounds of them and he somehow still likes them.

My friend Calan was really sick recently and so I drew her some fan art to cheer her up. She posted it as a guest comic. Check it out here and leave her a get well wish from me.


44 thoughts on “#403 – Striped”

  1. Iethloc says:

    I’ve had candy canes on a few occasions, but it’s been a long time since I’ve had one. I wasn’t very fond of them back then, but I’d like to have one now.

  2. Chuck says:

    I had a big Hershey’s Kiss. It wasn’t all THAT big, but it was awkwardly shaped without any parts that broke off easily to get me started.

  3. steam punk says:

    I got a giant candy cane as a stocking stuffer once. I didn’t eat it for like… 3 weeks because it looked cool. Then part of it broke off and fell and shattered into a gazillion pieces. After cleaning that up, I began my journey of the Candy cane that never ended.

  4. Bunnyman says:

    The worst thing I’ve ever done is that 12″ hollow chocolate rabbit I got for easter when I was seven. I finished all but the feet in under 3 hours. Then I puked… Never stopped me from eating chocolate, though. Eight years later I still love the stuff.

  5. Bubble says:

    I hope he’s got enough money and resources!

    Oh, I’ve eaten one giantish candy cane too, one I got from my not-so-secret santa! I felt pretty gross after

  6. cyber95 says:

    Bubble: This is the guy who owns steam powered slippers. I think he’s got the money and resources.

  7. Mithras says:

    This raises interesting questions… Does Biff’s unnaturally long mouth open along its entire length? If so, I would think he’d be able to put a large chunk of that cane in his mouth in one go!

    And wow! I think your skill as an artist really shows in that comic you did for Calan. I don’t mean that Biff is not artistically done, I mean that it is all done in one specific style, which I as a reader have gotten used to. This guest comic you did, however, is very different in style from your Biff comics, and that’s what I mean when I say it shows your skill as an artist! You really have a great range of style!

    When I first saw the guest comic, I wasn’t even sure that it was yours! I thought maybe I was looking at the wrong comic or something.

  8. Reg says:

    Lucky Biff. My brother really likes big candy, namely the unicorn lollypops you find at the amusement parks. On the way back home he’ll just keep licking and eating it. If you blinked, the thing was practically gone already! So I’ll assume Biff will finish eating his candy cane in time for tomarrow to… lets say… realize spagetti doesn’t make a very good bungie cord when jumping off a building. 😀

  9. dragonbrad says:

    I have gone through my whole easter basket in a day, and finished two huge chocolate carmel rabbits

  10. Colin says:

    I had eaten most of those things, (except rock candy christmas trees, sounds good though) and the eggs in a smaller amount. i usually put things in the freezer if i can’t eat them in one sitting.
    also, DON’T ever freeze a ring pop then try to eat it later.
    Nearly choked me to death.

  11. A Person Who Is Too Lazy To Come Up With A Creative Name says:

    Careful planning, power tools, and a pickaxe. Incidentally, how did he fit that through the door?

    Also, concerning the books. If I were to order one today, when would it arrive?

  12. Rob says:

    I would kill for five pounds of Cadbury eggs. Eating them would probably kill me as well though so justice would be served.

  13. Chris says:

    Depending on how close you live to Illinois, books USUALLY arrive in 3 days.

  14. MaskedMan says:

    An ICBM*-sized candy cane! w00t!

    Think of the foes you could totally bomb into a sugar-coma with that!

    He didn’t get it in through the door, it came up through the floor from its silo, like all proper ICBMs

    *Immense Candycane Biff Munchie

  15. Seraphine says:

    Am I the only one that doesn’t
    like candy canes? I’d rather stick
    one in an open wound, and let
    the peppermint burn and sting.

  16. kenshin620 says:

    This looks similar to a past rocket one, just can’t remember which.

  17. Chivalrybean says:

    One time I was at a gaming party (board games, card games, none of that new fangled electronic stuff) with my dad, and I don’t know if dad knew what I was doing and let me so I’d learn (dad was like that) or he just wasn’t paying attention (it WAS a gaming party), but I had so much candy and soda that day, that when we got home (yay, not in the car!) I just tossed it all up down into the toilet. I felt better afterwards though. I might have been ok, but just before we left, I ate these candy building bricks that were probably 98.76% sugar. You could really build with them, it was like edible Legos.

    Another time I was eating this super giant massive enormous marshmallow, but then I woke up. The crazy part was, half my pillow was gone.

  18. PsychoDuck says:

    You’re not alone, Seraphine. I really don’t like peppermint, or any mint, actually. Does not appeal to me AT ALL.

    The Duck Has Spoken.

  19. ShadowStarshine says:

    How can one not have the ability to down a choco-bunny? Personally, I’m a chocolate feind.

    Candy canes though, meh, I have a hard time finishing the regular size ones cause they just aren’t that appealing.

  20. PsychoDuck says:

    I have an iron stomach. Haven’t thrown up in three years. I think I could tackle an entire chocolate bunny and emerge victorious.

    So long as I don’t have to go on a car ride shortly after…

    The Duck Has Spoken.

  21. Colin says:

    I suffer from chocolate addiction as well…
    so much that this page’s comments has sent me jonesing.

  22. Chivalrybean says:

    If you do eat candy canes (I see that some one you don’t), do you ever end up keeping them in your mouth until the end you’ve been working on becomes dagger-like, and then you stab your tongue somehow? I’ve done that, but not mortally or anything, I don’t even think I’ve drawn blood, but the poke kinda hurts.

  23. Ben says:

    Huh, the way you wrote the caption is weird today. I’ve gotten used to all of them starting with “Biff.”

  24. Yuki says:

    Oh my God….o.O

    I love candy canes. I love peppermint with a passion. I am a menthaholic. I can’t understand how some of you dislike them, but that’s just me. I’ve sharpened so many candy canes I could line a pit-trap full of them.

    What’s better, though, is mint chocolate. If you get the really good kind (Lindor truffles are quite amazing) then it’s heaven. *drool*

    Now I’m hungry.

  25. Erik says:

    @ chivalry bean
    yeah I’ve done that before, and I think I have actually drawn blood.

  26. Clyde says:

    pshhh… I cant even finish a regular-size candy cane. I start eating it, finish the curved top part, get bored, and wrap it in plastic and leave it on the kitchen table.

    Chocolate rabbits are easier to finish, but not in one sitting. I’d get sick if i did that XD

  27. Aytug says:

    Errrm… I don’t have the time to dıg up the comic now, but, does anyone else remember the one about the breakfast cereal that did not taste that good but always came with the best toys? Anyone else besides me and apparently Chris, I mean.

  28. Yakboy says:

    This comic may have the only caption which does not have the word “Biff” in it.

  29. Yakboy says:

    Also, my frustration with ‘canes is that they always break for me. ALWAYS. When i try to remove the plastic, even if it’s huge, the curved part will inevitably break off from the rest.

  30. (((Chivalrybean Says:

    December 20th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
    If you do eat candy canes (I see that some one you don’t), do you ever end up keeping them in your mouth until the end you’ve been working on becomes dagger-like, and then you stab your tongue somehow? I’ve done that, but not mortally or anything, I don’t even think I’ve drawn blood, but the poke kinda hurts.)))

    Aye, I do. I’ve commited tongue-homicide with it more then once. X_X I”ve stabbed my poor tongue so hard that I taste blood and mint for a few hours afterward.

    I. Freaking. Love. Chocolate bunnies. I too have an iron belleh, I’ve never bothered to learn the sizes but when I was 6 I used to get some big freaking ones. I can polish them off in minutes. I am a formidable foe to all of Chocolate Rabbit-dom =D They send chocolaty bunny commandos in attempts to assassinate me but I prove my belly’s iron-cladness each time. Nom.

  31. crispin says:

    i got a fist sized hersheys kiss once i ate the top and then for a week after worked on the bottom

  32. KZero says:

    Oh wow. You tend to get a lot of large candy Chris. I’ve never had rock candy as far as I can recall… am I missing out? Anyone?

  33. jykcor says:

    i….need….cadburry eggs…
    just like rayne!


  34. Boumama says:

    Not only have I hurt myself with the daggerlike tips of candy canes (usually fruit flavored ones, though. My mom’s the peppermint fiend. I prefer spearmint), I’ve also occasionally all but sliced off individual taste-buds, getting them caught in those elongated bubbles that form in the candy as the sides dissolve out.

  35. Chaos says:

    biggest piece of candy i ever had was a one pound sugar daddy on a stick holy carp tails it took me a month to eat it.

  36. Metaright says:

    I love your comic! So funny! And I noticed this is like the only comic not to state what Biff is thinking, or use his name for that matter. Not that I don’t mind, your comic’s great!

  37. DogZero says:

    Ha Ha. Love the Book of Biff, read the entire archive, 1st post…

    Anyway, Gimme 50kg of gelignite and I could probably eat that. If it was a ‘tropical’ or ‘cherry’ flavoured one. They are the shi-izzle.

    Oh, and if it WERE an ICBM, well, crap. When that thing re-enters the atmosphere you’re gonna have a hell of a mess even if the SugerBuster9000(tm) warhead doesn’t go off.

  38. Zach Light says:

    candy cane? man those things take forever to lick away….want some help Biff?

  39. mrmeval says:

    I think the same thing about dinosaurs.

  40. steve says:

    Biff! No! Back away from the power tools!

  41. Raven Gold says:

    There is no candy that I cannot finish. Unless it has stong mint in it.

  42. Mags says:

    Quick! put it in a pool of hot water!
    It’s scientifically proven that candycanes melt in water. Maybe he can have a nice, hot glass of candy cane. Mmmm, sugar.

  43. Romano Giovanni says:

    Cadbury is the Shiznit!

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