#399 – Grande

For a time we were using toothpaste that came in a pump type dispenser. Push down on the top and squirt a little toothpaste on to your brush. After a few months of this my brain had developed a special connection to this point in space. 8 inches to the left of the faucet + push down = toothpaste. Over the summer we stayed at Amanda’s parent’s house for a week and we brought our toothpaste with us. We got there late on the first night and Amanda set up all of our stuff in the bathroom. I went in there at around 2am to get ready for bed and was surprised when I squirted hand soap onto my toothbrush.

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0 thoughts on “#399 – Grande”

  1. Ryan says:

    I don’t see the connection to the comic, to be honest with you, Chris.

  2. Knight Blazer says:

    To Ryan: Grande is a term used in coffee shops, particuarly Starbucks, to describe a large cup of coffee. On that note, why in the world do they refer to it as a grande? It’s a large cup of coffee! Cmon, just call it what it is! In regards to the comic, jeez that looks painful.

  3. MaskedMan says:

    Ouch! Coffee in clothes is like napalm – it clings and burns!

    Been there, done that.

    Ryan, the connection is the habit of physical motion. Biff so automatically reaches for his keys with the one hand that his muscle-memory overides any awareness of possible changes or differences in what else is going on, as Chris experienced with the soap dispenser.

  4. pieman says:

    at first sight i thought it was something else

  5. cyber95 says:

    Man, I was getting a ride home from a friend’s mom once, and she stopped at Starbucks on the way.
    She ordered something incredibly complicated that I didn’t understand, and immediately wondered; do they sell, by any chance, COFFEE at Starbucks?

  6. Nick Steele says:

    Why not call it enormo coffee? then everyone’d know what they were on about.
    MaskedMan’s right, though. Conditioned reflexes are quite difficult to stop.

  7. Radical Edward says:


    As for keys, digging them out of my purse is a struggle I deal with when I leave for my evaluation tests at the vocational program I go to. Especially when locking the door is a must where you live.

  8. Ben says:

    Before I read the caption, It looked like Biff farted 😀

  9. Colin says:

    I havent done that with coffee,
    Cup of sprite tho.
    here the ideo of what happened
    cold… Cold..COLD COLDCOLDCOLD!!!!
    also happy birthday to me!

  10. Colin says:

    nice touch with the steamy pants, Chris

  11. dragonbrad says:

    My routine is make a cup of black coffe, lift up pants, and turn cup 180 degrees, and enjoy. Nothing beats pouring fresh hot coffe down your pants. Great one chris, my favorite at the moment

  12. Tuesday says:

    See, now I want coffee.

    Of course, I wanted coffee anyway, since I’m up at 8 am and am a nocturnal creature.

  13. Kaikuro says:

    I remember this time I was eating dinner, and my water was sitting right next to the salt shaker. At the time I was exhausted, and wasn’t watching where I was going, and the next thing I know, I have a mouthful of salt. I like the flavor of salt, but it just caught me by surprise, then after a second I realized what I had done, laughed, then ate the salt. 😛

    I’m going to end up with clogged artieries pretty soon because when I was a kid I would sneak a few helpings of salt when my parents weren’t looking. Either I really needed sodium, or I just loved the flavor… don’t know what it was. I still like salt though.

    Then there was this time I put a box of crackers in the refrigerator, and I put the milk in the cup cabinent… then I took a cup out when I needed a bowl, and I tried to use a knife to eat cereal… then the time I was unwrapping a bar of chocolate, I threw the chocolate in the trash and stuffed the wrapper in my mouth… there’s tons of weird things I’ve done, I could type for hours.

    At any rate I love the new Biff comic! Can’t say I’ve done THAT before (looks painful!), but there was also a time where I was carrying a cup full of water, and I forgot about it, and I bent down to pick something up off the ground and ended up spilling it everywhere.

  14. Seraphine says:

    I’m fairly cautious with hot coffee
    and I spill it anyway. Knock on wood.

  15. carrie says:

    Did we have a food/drink theme week???

    Before I read the caption, I thought maybe he was trying to put chocolate in his pants…. 😛

  16. Zulu says:

    I drank a cup a syurp instead my O.J. because we staying at a hotel and the syurp and O.J. come in the same cups. I felt silly and sick.

  17. A Captain says:

    Another good one is putting cereal in the fridge and milk in the cupboard after you’ve made breakfast. It’s only funny if you notice it right away.

    On a related note to that related note, I once found a Rubik’s cube in my fridge. What. The. Frick?

  18. Eleanor says:

    I tried to put an armful of dirty clothes in the toilet when we moved house once. I’ve also used salt instead of sugar, sugar instead of salt, the wrong oven on the aga, a plate instead of a bowl (messy), a nail instead of a spoon, eaten BB pellets instead of solero shots, gotten changed back /into/ my gym clothes after PE, had a shower with socks on, put foil in the microwave instead of the potato and wandered around looking for my glasses whilst wearing them.

  19. nikie says:

    i saw the steam and it took me a little while to realize that it was steam from the coffee and not biff forgetting to take his beano…

  20. Muffin says:

    That was brilliant!!! You’ve made my day!!!

  21. Chivalrybean says:

    Not too related to the comic, but I find now that most of the weirds thoughts I have now involve Biff doing whatever it is, or something similar.

  22. Robot Panda says:

    I once carried a gallon of milk with me back to my bedroom…and then realized what I was doing.

    My family laughed at me. D:

    I have yet to spill coffee on myself.


    Ohhh okay shutting up. 😡

  23. Robot Panda says:

    That’s a very angry face, by the way. It’s not supposed to be mad…o___o;

  24. Maniac says:

    Ouch that has to burn like HFIL

  25. Maniac says:

    (Home For Infinite Losers- like Hell)

  26. Armor King says:

    Sigh… Look at the bright side Biff, at least it wasn’t an Iced coffee. I can’t imagine freezing the “Pocket” area feels any better than burning it.

  27. steam punk says:

    I think the connection between the comic and the story, is the thought of repetition in which Chris had remembered too well, and Biff should have remembered sooner. Both ending in unhappy campers and I’m guessing sanitized teeth and steamed pants.

    By the way, starbucks sells numerous amounts of drinks, most amongst which are crazily strong with Espresso shots. Peppermint Frappucino’s = win though.

  28. MaskedMan says:


    How are you still alive? 😮 Are you related to Biff, by chance?

  29. PsychoDuck says:

    *Ignores ImpostorDuck*

    Hand soap, huh? How’d that taste, Chris?

    Also, as Biff now knows, third-degree burns are not fun. I too learned this the hard way…

    The Duck Has Spoken.

  30. Prospero says:

    Great comic! I actually work for Starbucks so I can relate to the “accidents” people have with their coffee.

    As in reference to the size questions. It’s in Italian. Which explains the names.

    Tall – A small coffee, which was the only size they had when they started 20 years ago.
    Grande – Does mean big but the largest…
    Venti – means 20, as in its 20 ounces

    Then of course we also have the short – which is 8 ounces, and stays true to the name :p. Thats what they threw in to Americanize it a little more.

    (sorry for the educational tid bits)

  31. Bubble says:

    Gosh, this one had me in stitches!

    In regards to coffee, I only drink the fake stuff made of barley. Is just as good just no caffeine! Yay!

    Good work as ever!

  32. Sleepingorange says:

    @ Every-one making fart comments:

    When was the last time you saw someone fart out of their KNEES? You have to be trying to see fart.

  33. Lucretiel says:

    There is only one way to describe this: Classic Biff

  34. steam punk says:


    I work at starbucks too! 😀

    ‘cept I didn’t know that… I just serve drinks and laugh at the over-priced sandwiches.

  35. Kain Hunt says:

    @Prospero and steam punk

    Awe yes what us baristas do in our free time. Isn’t it grand ^_^
    Have either of you tried a green tea americano?

    @Knight Blazer

    Are you the kind of person who orders a drink using the term grande thinking it is the large and complain when you get the medium? Don’t worry you will get it with time.(you can use small, medium, and large it you want)

  36. Bart says:

    @Knight Blazer: they refer to a large cup of coffee as grande for grande is French for large. Don’t ask me why the french call a grande cup of coffee a large cup though.

  37. Colin says:

    “Biff Learns that Laxatives do NOT make a suitable replacement for cream and sugar.”

  38. biggo says:

    I so understand the problem of muscle memory.
    I’m currently suffering from stress-induced tendonitis (sp?) -and that’s why I’m investing my precious time browsing Biff comics instead of wasting it in some work-related activity-, and I can’t help doing things I shouldn’t with my right arm. Yesterday I tried to get the cigarettes from my shirt’s pocket; the hand reached the pocket before the bicep could send a STOP signal to the brain. Whoops, hand in pocket, arm weighs down, pocket rrrrrips away from shirt, cigarettes and lighter to the floor, me with a HUH? face, arm swinging back and forth like a fake limb. Awkward.

  39. Marr965 says:

    I’m currently playing Phoenix Wright – Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations, and I’ve reached Recipe for Turnabout, and the witness is testifying as to which hand the victim used to pick up the poisoned coffee… Spooky…

  40. Kyle says:

    Well his jacket makes it look cold so I guess he heated himself up.

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