#379 – Swipe

I was really excited when I got my first brand new bicycle. All of my previous bikes were pieced together from hand my downs from my older brother. We didn’t have a shed or anything like that to put them in so we always just parked them up against the back of the house. One day I went around back to get it and it was missing. First I thought I must have left it in the front yard. Nope, not there either. I was pretty upset about it and so my parents bought me another one. I picked out a completely different model this time. For some reason we thought the bicycle thief must have had his fill because we didn’t upgrade out security measures. By the end of summer that bike had been stolen as well.


0 thoughts on “#379 – Swipe”

  1. Micah says:

    Man, I hate when people drive my house away. They left the roof sitting on cinder blocks when I found it.

  2. PsychoDuck says:

    Ouch, that really sucks about your bike.

    Also, it would look really weird if someone stole my house.

    It’s an apartment 😛

    The Duck Has Spoken.

  3. Sleepingorange says:

    Frankly, I feel sorry for who-ever stole it; they’re in for some unpleasant surprises.

    When I was… eight? Eight maybe… Any-way, when I was then, my brother and I had this little town-ified go-kart. It was the coolest thing ever, and one day this big 12-year-old went and took it from us. It was not cool.

  4. Chuck says:

    Th eonly bike I ever owned got stolen. I saw someone riding it one day.

  5. MaskedMan says:

    Now THAT is a mobile home!

    Watch out for the stairs, housing joy-riders! That first step is a doozy!

  6. A Captain says:

    Biff takes everything in stride, including having his house jacked, apparently. What a guy. We can all learn from his example.

    I’ve had three expensive mountain bikes stolen in my lifetime, and I came up with a foolproof plan: not have enough money to replace the third one and get a free bike which just happens to be a hunk of junk but no worries because the wheels still roll and you can brake kind of and no one will ever steal it because they will be afraid of it blowing up only it won’t blow up!!!!

    Prob… probably?

  7. RFPT says:

    hehe, Chris was a spoiled little punk.

    I remember one day after a storm, our tree was gone. a big ugly tree that everyone hated but was never bothered to chop it down. the tree never turned up, and luckily it hadn’t embedded itself in another house. I think I walk past it every day, but never recognize it.

  8. Imaginary says:

    Once back at one of our old houses, we left some apple juice jars outside near a tree, they sat out there for nearly two years before our dog barking alerted us that someone was stealing it… I think if they actually drank what was in those jars after sitting through southern summer twice got plenty of punishment.

  9. Dan says:

    On the subject of leaving the keys in your car, my dad tells this story of when he had his radio stolen. The thief ejected the CD and left it on the seat. How bad does your taste in music have to suck that somebody stealing your CD player won’t take it?

  10. Gobbledegook says:

    When I first moved into an apartment with my now-wife, the first weekend there her brand new car was stolen from the parking lot right below our window. The week after that, the thieves came back and stole my $800 car radio. We were both pretty angry at management for the lax security… the night gate guard got fired and investigated by the police for it, but they never caught the criminals.

    That’s when I decided to become Batman.

  11. pieman says:

    lol PsychoDuck!

    i got my first brand new bike earlier this year. all i had before was my brothers.

  12. kenshin620 says:

    interesting….before I read the caption, I thought it had something to do with Biff and a dried up pool.

  13. nikie says:

    heh. i bought a bike a while ago and my dad insisted that i get a lock for it so the neighborhood hooligans wouldn’t steal it. so i got a lock for it and lost the combination. after about a year of it being locked to my house, we finally got a pair of those gigantic lock cutters and got it to unlock. that day, after only a few hours of it being free, someone stole it.

  14. Seraphine says:

    I figure when somebody steals,
    they must have needed it more
    than I. That doesn’t make it right,
    nor does it make me feel better.

  15. steam punk says:

    The only thing I’ve had stolen from me, fully knowing that it was stolen, was this super nintendo game. I can’t remember what it was called, but it was a racing game and it was really, really fun. Anyways, my “friend” asked me if he could borrow it because he had thought it was just as much fun as I did. I let him borrow it for about a month and then the day he said he was going to give it back, he actually moved. I got the game for my birthday and it was my first video-game ever. After that, if I ever let someone borrow something, I always get collateral. Lesson? Never trust a kid named Joey, who has a mushroom cut. Lesson Learned.

    And the worst part is, other people that I went to high school with (I was in grade 2 or 3 when it was stolen) had had the same thing happen to them by THE SAME GUY. Some people have no souls…

  16. Buzzardo says:

    I drove my house onto the highway and told everyone there to get out of my driveway

  17. Bullet Fiend says:

    Love this one!

    @ Steam Punk – Joey and his kind must die!

  18. me says:

    i guess that could happen if you build your house on the side of a hill.

  19. Trevor says:

    You mean they didn’t steal his grass?
    Seriously, I want to shouldur drop thieves onto acid covered spikes.

  20. NDDR says:

    only thing i ever had stolen was my mind.

  21. Garrett says:

    And worst of all… they took the refrigerator as well! Guess Biff will have to chug that milk before it goes bad.

  22. rick says:

    His house has WHEELS too? That’s a death trap on wheels! lol

  23. pieman says:

    @steam punk:

    never had that happen to me, but there is sum1 i no who has a mushroom cut, and he isnt trustworthy. (a bit more trustworthy than the sounds of joey, but still not much)

  24. pieman says:


    if they took the fridge, what would they do with the sticky notes?

  25. dragonbrad says:

    Holy crap I knew a kid nmed joey, he had a stupid haircut, like abowl cut or sumtin, i traded a video game with him ( a temporary trade ) then he moved to canada, thats a seven day trip from me, and I live in the far south

  26. Foxfire says:

    Well, I myself have never had anything stolen except a lone N64 game. (I think it was Starfox). My dad however, has had two realtivily nice bikes stolen…but then again, he kinda made it easy by leaving them infront of the house on the carport over night….lesse….as a family, we had some wierd guy go and steal cell phone earbuds out of cars…..they found the guy next door passed out in the neighbors van.

  27. Jesso says:

    In January of 2005 our house was robbed. They cleaned us out, but I guess by the time they got to my bedroom they were tired or something because they only took my little box of change and my class ring and my DVDs I had in my room. I never got my Invader Zim box set replaced, because the insurance company got the name wrong and couldn’t find it 🙁

    Apparently, they pulled a van up into our driveway in the middle of the day, broke open the front door, and just loaded up the van. And no one noticed, I guess. My mom got home from work and our house was torn apart and much emptier.

  28. AG says:

    People used to try and steal my last car like none other. I drove it for two years and had seven attempts on it. It got to the point that I started doing repairs to it myself because every time people got to look at what was under the hood somebody tried to steal it because of how powerful it’s engine made it. You’d think that I owned a cammaro or something, but my car was a dodge stratus.

    I wonder if’s Biff’s homeowners insurance covers house theft?

  29. steam punk says:


    No lie, I live in Canada! Could it be…? :O

  30. Vachon says:

    Every bike I have ever had has been stolen, excluding my first (which was a toddlers bike). The last bike I had stolen has the best story behind it. I went to the mall, locked my bike, and when I get back my bike is gone. The lock was still there, still locked to the bike rack… just no bike. It was like magic, luckily it wasn’t an expensive bike and hey anyone who can steal a locked bike and not disturb the bike gets props for magic in my opinion.

  31. Mirakuu says:

    The most recent theft I have had…would be out of my car. Someone broke into my car Halloween night. They left my expensive cd player…left my sound system, left my fancy gauges and left everything… They stole a cheap $15 data stick I had hooked into my cd player. It’s like thieves these days are so retarded. He could have easily ran of with…$250 worth of stuff. Owell, he isn’t getting any freebie seconds. I learned well from that little incident. Everything in my car is bolted down tight. Not easy to remove >.>

  32. Jeff says:

    I used to know a guy that fit your exact description, Steam Punk!
    Except that it was in southern California.

  33. zorgof says:

    I have a story a bit like this.
    We were throwing out a couch and were keeping it in the back driveway.
    I was in a hurry to get inside for some reason so I just left it in the back
    next to the house. when I came back to put it in the garrage the cushions
    from the couch were missing. but my bike was untouched.

  34. Lisa says:

    my house runs on diesel.

  35. Grep Agni says:

    Someone broke into my apartment once. I rather messy, so it took a while before I was sure someone had been in there. Anyway, I was/am a (rather crappy) magician and I had a bunch of gimmicked coins, almost all of which were stolen. They all had their own boxes and bags and must have looked like a coin collection. The sad thing is that though they were expensive to replace they would be worth nothing to a coin dealer or any normal person.

    Someone also stole my bike in college, but since it wouldn’t shift out of fifth gear and the brakes were iffy to say the least, I wasn’t too upset.

  36. Knofiman says:

    Once a bus stopped at its station while I was passing by on foot, and two men exited. There were lots of bikes parked at the bus station. One of the men went to the bikes and called out to the other one, “Ey, Marcus, you don’t need to walk. This one isn’t locked!” Marcus came back – and stole the bike. In broad daylight. With old ladies waiting for their bus. IN FRONT OF A POLICE STATION.

  37. Flamey says:

    hey i’ve been reading since #200 and i’m now a big fan.

    i’ve actually had a bike stolen from me once and my older brother tracked down the guy and chased him down and got it back for me. i was so happy and confused because my brother actually did something nice for me.

  38. the_gail says:

    My roommate’s soon to be ex-boyfriend’s bike has been sitting on the front porch for months, most of which the house was empty. and no one’s taken it. which is sad because i don’t like him much and he’s never coming back to here so i keep hopping someone will take it off my hands so i don’t have to worry about it. But someone took the fence posts, explain that one, they had to take down the fence to do that, were as the bike is right in the open next to a busy road.

  39. Deteramot says:

    I’ve almost pulled a Joey two or three times. But I get around to returning the item eventually. Eventually might be two years later, but it happens eventually.

  40. The Dustin says:

    The only bike I’d ever had stolen, was when I was 4. it was my red and yellow Big wheel Cobra(brand) tricycle. and I was mugged, by my best friend(before this event) with a knife. I got it back… after my parents called the police.

  41. Corinthiar says:

    This gives new meaning to the term “house burglar”. Does that mean that the nice lady down the street is really a cat burglar? 🙂

  42. Toxic12 says:

    I got robbed once, but it was really funny. I accidentally left my locker open at school, and I had at least $200 worth of awesome stuff in there, and the only thing that got stolen was half a pad of sticky notes and a pen that had run out of ink. I laughed all the way to the end of eighth period. My school day only has seven periods.

  43. SurveySays says:

    its fun stealing bikes back from bike theives. my town was pretty small so if your bike got stolen you’d know who had it by the end of the day. this new family moved in (Next to me) and apparently the whole family was in on it because after a few bikes went missing and i could see the father out back taking the bikes apart and putting them back together. he was aparently trying to make them look diffrent enough to get away with it by puzzling them back together with diffrent parts. a couple of parents called the cops but there was no actuall proof by that point so they couldn’t arrest them and it was so frustrating cause everyone knew they did it. so /someone/ *Cough* went over and grabbed the bikes and gave them back to their rightful owners…ish. i didn’t know how to put them back together the way they were and they worked sooo i figured it was good. the best part was the family couldn’t complain about it bc it ment answering a lot of questions about the bikes and were they got them. we all learned our lesson by then and almost always had bikes locked down our in garages.

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