#168 – Sword

When I was a kid we had a couple of yardsticks in my house. Fluorescent pink and yellow, they were free at a county fair from a “siding and window specialist.” After we got home they instantly became swords for me an my younger brother to fight with. We somehow managed to not injure each other with them and they lasted through my whole childhood. Any actual sword toys we got barely lasted a few weeks.


71 thoughts on “#168 – Sword”

  1. I am Satan, I am Jesus Christ says:

    hah that sword reminds me of clouds sword from final fantasy 7.
    Wow where would we be without all of Biffs helpful tips on life?

  2. Termin says:

    Haha wow…I almost did this with a claymore once. Biff never fails to amuse.

  3. Your_mom says:

    Yeah lol, thats right who needs albert einsten anyway?

  4. Genericguy13 says:

    biffs eyebrows>omni slash

  5. DeiMiles says:

    Yeah… or the Masamune from Chrono Trigger. Puts a new light on the logic we all left behind when playing our favourite He-Man RPG heroes. Another gem, Chris, I love it.

  6. Leon says:

    It also looks like Ichigo first zenpaku on Bleach… OMG!!! Biff has a sword collection! 😮

  7. Macks says:

    The ambiguity of this comic is part of what makes it so universally funny. Everyone can draw there own parallels, however ridiculous they may be.

  8. Adam says:

    Wow, wonder what he was trying to fight . . . could have been anything

  9. Skips says:

    Reminds me of a fun day I spent at a medieval fair I was 6, the longsword was…..big

  10. Chris says:

    Yeah they do have some huge wooden swords at those things. It’s funny seeing little kids try to pick them up.

  11. Rogue says:

    when i was a freshman in highschool, me and a friend would use fly swatters instead of yardsticks…. those metal handles were dangerous, not to mention the bug guts!

  12. T.S. says:

    First off, I wanna say that Biff has a new fan. I just found the comic and have loved every one I’ve read.
    That being said… I can only think of one game that actually took this concept into account… In the game Fable, it was funny if you tried to use a sword that you weren’t strong enough to lift… he would lift it high, it would fall, and he would just kinda drag it around.

  13. Chris says:

    Thanks T.S. New fans are always welcome. 🙂

  14. JenniN says:

    Hehe, a while ago, after Art Club, my friend and I had a swordfight with our drink bottles.
    The janitor gave us a funny look and watched us suspiciously until we were out of the building.

  15. Roy_vf1s says:

    Wow… Biff strikes (or fails to) again!

    Like Macks said, you can draw your own parallels, but it seriously reminds me of a girl I knew who LARPed with a foam sword four times as big as she was, spacially speaking….

  16. Dustin says:

    The shape reminded me of Ichigo’s zanpakuto after Capt. Kuchki cut it apart. Also, great job, Chris =)

  17. machine146 says:

    Wow that is one big sword. I wonder where he got it from.

  18. Alchav says:

    I will keep this in mind…

  19. calan ree says:

    i’m just glad he didn’t try to swallow this one. nice work as always, chris. 🙂

  20. Chris says:

    haha calan, yeah that would be a real different comic. 🙂

  21. T.S. says:

    Well, think of it this way. If he had tried to swallow it, he would definitely lean back this time, whether he meant to or not.

  22. some kid says:

    louzy laws of physics

    always bringing me and my man biff down

  23. some kid says:

    did i spell that right

  24. Dadi says:

    Yeah damn physics!
    I think in one comic you should maybe have Biff create a no-gravity machine or a time machine!….Or has he already? O.o
    Anyways great comic! reminds me of when I used to fool around with my brothers and some mates in the woods playing with sticks imagining they’re swords!….aw the good old care free days…^^
    Keep the good stuff on coming Chris! 🙂

  25. Chris says:

    Thanks Dadi, drawing a new one right now.

  26. Haragorn says:

    Biff should just hook up one of his anti-gravity boots to it, or use it in his house after forgetting the gravity bill again.

  27. Chris says:

    Hahaha, that’s a good idea Haragorn. 🙂

  28. Wind-Up Monkey says:

    I had a toy sword that big once…

  29. Rachael says:

    Haha, nice.

    Hmm… I’ve had Biff and crop circles on the brain lately,;)

  30. Knownimus says:

    I want that sword…

  31. witijill says:

    You sure they weren’t meter sticks?

  32. Warcrime says:

    He needs to get sword wielding tips from cloud Strife.

  33. Ice says:

    And so Final Fantasy has invaded yet another topic on the internet. I have no work to do here. Cloud Strife shall rule the world.

    He should just make a plastic sword instead… =P

  34. Fenix says:

    Whoa, for a moment I thought that Biff is a cosplayer =p…

  35. Reutan says:

    Noez, someone already stole my thought of Kurosaki Ichigo’s Zanpakto, (scroll past/ stop scrolling if you watch Bleach in english or dun wanna know)

    Zangetsu. XD

  36. Nate says:

    It doesn’t really look like clouds sword, it reminds me of some other sword, but I can’t place it exactly….


    maybe jjust the generic sword on the back swords that are fug huge for fug huge anime characters.

  37. Tehblues says:

    This is such a Final Fantasy VII reference.

  38. Twilight says:

    Were Biff only strong enough to wield that sword, he could probably cut a bus in half.

  39. Thebobert5 says:

    Okay, on the Friday before Christmas break, 3 of my friends went over to a guys house, and we brought about 70+ rolls of duct tape, all the flattened cardboard boxes that would fin in the bed of my truck and multiple wooden/plastic poles. The plan was to create massive weapons, and use them in a LOTR-style battle. 100 juniors Vs 100 seniors.

    Two people just made really big swords, one person made the sword from FFVII………And I made a giant battle axe. (And later armor-which is still in construction.)


    The axe is 7 ft. tall, weighs in at about 45 lbs; and is composed of about 85% duct tape!

  40. Spoot Knight says:

    A claymore or a flamberge would be sweet to own.
    (I’ll have them one of these days…)

  41. dragonbrad says:

    i have created my one zanpakto,its a boomerang

  42. Mint Sharpie says:

    Daaannnnggg I need one of those!

    I actually brought this ancient wakizashi of mine into school today for “show and tell.” This is in quotes because as a high school we do not have show and tell. I brought it to scare the pants off of as many people as I could. And it worked! I got a ridiculous number of freaked-out looks. But I did get to show off in history class. I mean, it is a legit antique. Even if it can slice a ribbon in half.

  43. Darkpheonix XIII says:

    Aawwww, I want it! I actually have a goal to collect all sorts of medievel weaponry. Then, I’ll learn how to use each one.

  44. DemonRex says:

    Who gave him that thing, anyway?

  45. Miranda says:

    Instead of yardsticks, my sister and I would use empty rolls from wrapping paper until they bent in half from one hit too many. Good times. She had better watch out the next time I got to her house because I’ll be packing heat.

  46. Knife Knut says:

    Score one for realistic swords!
    To properly wield a sword that large would require the removal of some or all of the blade’s inertia, which may be possible for Biff to pull off.
    Even better, he should use his telekinesis to help wield it.
    He is lucky he didn’t lose an eyebrow.

  47. Dracat says:

    Ahhh, my cousin and I would and do still play with the lightsabers that light up. They hurt like hell to be hit by and my cousin always seemed to hit me….

    Also, I want Biff’s sword and I’d call it Kuro because it’s a dark color. It can be added to my weapons collection consisting of: three samurai swords,one knife, one boken, one bo staff and two escrema sticks. Samurai swords are named Akuma, Youkai and Tenshi from smallest to biggest. My Boken is Tsuki Myobi. My knife is called Bronze til I find a japanese name that suits it. My bo is called Kitsune Kyuubi with whichever one I call it of the two names dependingon the day and whether any Naruto fans are around. Finally, my escrema sticks are Kilala and Shippou. Also, I share a jo with my dad which has the character for Dragon carved into it and is called Ryuu.

  48. Elkian says:

    …this is the second comic called ‘Sword’…

  49. KayRis says:


  50. Cloud Strife says:

    Aah, so THAT’S where my sword went.

  51. Angela says:

    At least he didn’t hit his head…:x

  52. mica says:

    I just read 168 pages in one sitting! XD Awesome comic, Chris! Leave it to Biff to show us how to use a real sword. 😉

  53. Auntie-Aku says:

    Surprising, I would have waited it to hit his head. :O

  54. Deteramot says:

    Ow…. I noticed someone mentioned Fable. I’ve got a mod for a sword so large it doesn’t fit on the screen. It’s freaking hilarious.

  55. PikaMario99 says:

    Give Cloud his sword back.

  56. Tuesday says:

    This just reminds me of one classic line…

    “The bastard sword is a B!”

  57. Byakuya says:


  58. Zayl says:

    I cant believe all these comments and dragon slayer from berserk has yet to be mentioned.

  59. Deteramot says:

    Am I the only one here who owns a wooden sword? Probably not.

  60. DOOD! says:

    Ah, giant swords
    Where would we be if anime and RPG characters weren’t always trying to overcompensate?
    I pray we never find out.

  61. Nokore says:

    Mwahahaha. Final Fantasy Seven shall forever invade random topics on the internet. xD The topic this time? Giant swords and the assumptions made of them! *Shot with tranquilizer darts and dragged back off to the Happy Hotel*

  62. lovelydarkness333 says:

    WOW, you never know just how many super nerds visit your page untill you make a comic and OOPS it looks like a FF7 sword! I thought the same thing when i saw it, so that makes me a super nerd, too.

    I found this through Fanboys (the video game web comic) and I decided to read from the beginning, and I decided to finally comment, here.

  63. TylerP says:

    Huh… FFVII jokes aside, why would Biff be overcompensating with that BFS? I mean if anything somebody else should be wielding the Buster Sword wannabe due to an inferiority complex caused by Biff’s huge eyebrows. I mean that’s what most guys compensate for right? Freud would have a field day with that monster…. Good thing I think Sigmund Freud is full of it.

  64. Felix says:

    ‘After watching an unsafe quantity of anime, Biff discovers that eventually physics will catch up even with him.’

    I’ve just started reading. I had to comment because of that one. 😀

  65. Chaos Kiwi says:

    Wasn’t there another one called Sword?

  66. mrmeval says:


    He has swords guaranteed to out last the meat you swing it at.

  67. Allie says:

    I’m thinking Biff borrowed Inuyasha’s Tetsusaiga – it is normal-size when in its sheath but becomes ridiculously huge when removed for use. Biff didn’t have a chance…only reason Inuyasha can wield it is because he’s half-demon. 😀

  68. ... says:

    I’m flashing back to 5-year-old me trying to lift a sledgehammer…

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