#1072 – Iron
Posted on July 21, 2010 at 12:00 am by Chris
Chapter: Comics
I was driving home from the grocery store when we turned the corner and faced into the sunlight. I flipped down the visor as I squinted and something fell into my lap. Something silent. Something that fell far too slowly. Luckily my sense of self preservation understood that unbuckling my seatbelt and leaping out of the vehicle was not the best course of action and I should instead describe the situation to my co-pilot. “Uhh sweetie?” I said to my wife. “Can you please find the spider that just landed in my lap?”
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biff should probably get bug protection for his car either that or bug spray
I hated those Orkin commercials, but not to say however a woman did damage her tv as she thought it had a bug on it. Orkin lawyers were too busy laughing.
Chris, you’re lucky your wife didn’t use the same spider-killing tool Biff does…
either you have a stronger self of self-preservation/awareness than I do, or I have a more severe case of arachnophobia than you. Last time something like that happened, I literally tried to climb out and over my seat into the back and barely hit park in time.
I hope you never start writing Biff full-time, because then you wouldn’t have any interesting stories.
Overreact much Biff?
Somehow, I’m reminded of Andrew Ryan getting hit by a golf club and saying, “Kill, Kill, KILL!!”
Maybe that’s what Biff was doing.
So… I hate bugs week?
And, you are afraid of spiders? LOL.
Every Biff comic has a narrator saying, “Would you kindly…”
Ha! I got that one way before I had to scroll down for the caption.
Reminds me of the other brother “Zevo” in the movie TOYS.
A good oeurve, that.
@ MaskedMan: I saw a variation of that one from Humor Erotico. A man is grimacing in bed with a hammer sitting you-know-where, and the woman is saying: “I thought it was a ghost.”
@ The Dukenator:
“Timothy Leary ‘s dead.
No-ooo, he’s outside… looking in.”
– The Moody Blues
Sorry to go on and on like this… But an injustice to the subtlety of Humor Erotico has occurred. I knew I probably wasn’t remembering that quite right, then I remembered I still had the book. It wasn’t a hammer, it was only what looked like a dent in the sheets. Good humor always leaves as much as possible to the imagination.
Actually… You see, I hate research and didn’t feel much like paging through a whole book, but then it occurred to me that the hammer might have been meant to sybolize another ghost, namely Karl Marx. So, yes. It was a hammer. And it wasn’t too hard to find either. Page one.
(chapter: “And everything in it’s place”)
Things wrongly observed week ?
I hates spiders… I has many a story about them scaring the crap out of me and my phobic brother-in-law. Just make sure to kill the big ones all the way… They are wrathful little buggers that will come after you.
Spiders, eight legged invaders from another planet. They are here to take over I say! You don’t know what they are planning! Why Aren’t You Listening!? We MUST Act Before Its TOO LATE!
Remind me never to move to wherever you live, because you run into more spiders than I’d ever care to see.
@i.half4 is there anyone who would talk like that but you?
It’s ironic you post this as today’s comic. While driving today I was just thinking to myself how terrible it would be if you found a spider in the car while driving. Man, you have a history with spiders, don’t you? 😛
@Benpercent – I should start an all spiders all the time journal comic.
Yesterday I was all like “Woo, shirtless Biff week!” Then today’s comic got posted and I realized it was icky bugs week. I haz a sad. 🙁
I had the opposite happen. I was so used to bugs (spiders) crawling on the outside of the windshield that I didn’t register it was inside until it shifted in the a/c breeze and made me slam on the brakes and try to kill.
Of course, like most bugs it simply laughed at my efforts and skittered away to make me fear its reappearance. (Very much like another poster’s story, only my spider did show up again…on the window…spidey learned a harsh lesson in wind shear that day.)
@ all you other arachnophobics:
I’d probably freak out BEFORE I remember my car is moving…
I actually crashed my car when a spider fell in my lap. Irritatingly I didn’t even freak out or anything, I just looked down to squish the little bastard. The road curved, I didn’t. Smashed into a Buick.
Of course, there was that camp out where one time I was using the latrine, when a funny looking bug flew in, bumped into a wall, and broke in half.
It took me a moment to realize that it was a wasp, that had been carrying a paralyzed spider, that it just had dropped down my pants. It turns out that hiking boots can be very tricky to get off when you’re in a hurry.