#958 – Rubbed

I still remember my hamster as the most laid back pet I owned as a child. He was just really chill about everything. Even the gold fish had its moments of panic, swimming around the bowl at maximum speed. Mr. Hams would see something like that… pause… and say “Hey little fishy… what’s the rush?”



0 thoughts on “#958 – Rubbed”

  1. PsychoDuck says:

    Darn those super-literal genies. It’s their fault that I have a million male deer stinking up my closet.

    The Duck Has Spoken.

  2. Kratospie says:


  3. Madness says:

    OMG I love Hamster Biff!

  4. Hershey says:

    I rather like this form of a Biff.

  5. Hamster Biff should be a spin-off. Or Hamster Biff could be a Tribble-like alien on Star Trek.

  6. undead.exe says:

    …Biff has a mouth o.O

    1. Tech says:

      that’s A NOSE!!!

  7. The Dukenator says:

    Coming soon to stores: The Biff Mouse

  8. LazerWulf says:

    The only thing worse than super-literal genies are genies that are hard of hearing.

  9. TheSkrilla says:

    says the man with a twelve-inch pianist.

  10. Maverick660 says:

    Finally made it all the way through the archives. The Book of Biff is officially one of my favorite comics ever. This particular comic makes me think of that silly old joke (singing) “Oh I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener…” *poof*

  11. Kitsune Dzelda says:

    Actually genies are originally that way, making the phrase “Be careful what you wish for” oooooooh so much more apparent.

  12. baughbe says:

    Gee, I wish I knew how to make a wish that wouldn’t backfire.

  13. Lorcan says:

    Why does Biff look like an egg? I never had a hamster as a kid, but I know what they look like!

  14. DracoDei says:

    “…Biff has a mouth o.O”
    I think it might be his nose…

  15. Nighkali says:

    Biff’s second wish; A running wheel

  16. Waladil says:

    I always think it would be funny if a genie was awoken and he realized that his new owner… Was a lawyer.
    “What do you wish for, Master?”
    “Here. I wrote it out.”
    “The Genie, hereafter referred to as Slave, agrees to give John Nicholson, hereafter referred to as Master three wishes. A wish is defined as an incantation in writing or spoken, that describes a desire.
    Master’s first wish is that he be granted three billion dollars in legal tender of the United States of America. These dollars are to be untraceable, legal, and tax-free. The money is to be presented in a location clearly delineated by Master and strictly adhered to by Slave. The money is also to be presented in bills and notes ranging from five dollar bills to one hundred dollar bills, each with unique serial numbers and accurate signatures and seals, including watermarks…” Damn it man, you ruin all my fun!

  17. Ph®ed says:

    @baughbe All you have to do is say, “I wish this wish wouldn’t backfire.” <– You now know how to make a wish that wouldn't backfire.

    The literal-genie Ph®ed strikes again.

  18. Tech says:

    Wanna see a genie’s gead explode?
    “I wish you would not grant my wish.”
    (make sure it’s the last one)

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