#893 – Suspicious

When I was a kid I went to a store with a friend and he got caught shoplifting right next to me. I totally freaked out and made sure to never wear that same shirt in that store again. Have you ever been thrown out of one of your favorite places and then had to disguise yourself to get back in?

Also, check out the Biff Xmas cards in the store!


33 thoughts on “#893 – Suspicious”

  1. Pending says:


    The freakin’.



  2. K├╝chenhexe says:

    No, can’t say I have, but my ex spent 15 years boycotting every chain owned by the parent company of a chain where once, when he was 10, at one location in his hometown, an assistant manager accused him of shoplifting. Last I knew, he was still boycotting everything owned by the parent company of that chain.

  3. SilentDragon says:

    Nope, can’t say I ever have, I do my best to avoid trouble/conflict wherever I go.
    Does Biff just lift the mask to take a bite? Either way, they clearly haven’t recovered from his last visit if they can’t see through a cardboard mask, his eyebrows are perhaps the most distinctive I’ve ever seen.
    Now I want to know what he did, but of course, that will likely remain a mystery…

  4. Micah says:

    Ah…he must’ve sneezed.

    1. Dorten says:

      My first thought

  5. Herbert says:

    I was once “caught” in an ordinary supermarket carrying the things I planned to purchase in my bicycle basket. They took me to the supervisor who explained that only the official supermarket baskets are allowed in the store for I could use my custom basket to steal something in a false bottom. Ever saw that in an wire-wove basket?

  6. Just_Some_Dude says:

    Hah, cool. For me, it’s impossible to go unnoticed in some shops, they have the same staff with incredible memory…

  7. Boilman says:

    It looks like that Biff… IS A SPY!

  8. DrTrunks says:

    Playing TF2: “The Biff is a spy!”

  9. MaskedMan says:

    Never had to hide my identity, no…

    I wonder which of Biff’s inventions ran amuck in that restaurant..?

  10. Amy says:

    My cousin has made a hobby out of getting banned from every Wal-Mart in a 3-county radius. If they don’t escort him out on sight, he wreaks havoc until they remember for next time. You know those email forwards about retarded things to do in department stores? He actually does them.

  11. The Scarf says:

    My friend got caught attempting to finagle a cake from QFC once. I ditched him accidentaly. I hadn’t realized they had gotten caught, and then was waiting outside like ‘where the heck are they?’ and nomming my own shoplifted goods.

    QFC is the only place I shoplift from. They really don’t care anymore, and I need lunch, so….

  12. Mike says:

    Good God! What did Biff do to the restaurant? Broken windows, holes in walls, man.

    But on the commentary, no, I haven’t had to disguise myself to get into a store.

  13. baughbe says:

    Being rather distinctive, it would be useless. I was once very amused that while store detectives were very busy following me around, I saw 3 different people make use of the fact and nipped stuff. Didn’t know them and if the store dics hadn’t pissed me off when I was there to legitimately shop, I might had said something….

  14. Ziriath says:

    Isn’t it the same restaurant, where he was waiting at the traffic lights some strips ago? ::D

  15. McGehee says:

    If I ever get thrown out of here I’ll have to change my avatar.

  16. Draq says:

    I’ve been banned from places, but they usually forget and I walk right back in the next day.

  17. sic says:

    I once got kicked out of my favorite boozer with the comment “come back next weekend” – after they extinguished a fire I lighted before with tequila…

  18. Ziriath says:

    Yeah, Biff+ sneezing attack=walking disaster and biological weapon in one very funny person::)

  19. ZeoViolet says:


    But I told my brother all the time not to wear backpacks to the store when he was younger and he ignored me until he got stopped and accused of shoplifting, and made to open his backpack to prove he had nothing in it.

    Later, especially after Columbine, I told him not to walk around in a trenchcoat–it looked terrible on him and he looked suspicious. After a while, he finally did listen to me when he realized people were giving him a wide berth. He was still a kid then, but a teenager in a trenchcoat at the time wasn’t the best way to be seen.

    For the record, aside from the time my brother was two and a half and picked up a hair tie he saw me admiring and thought he’d get for me–and not old enough to understand what money was yet–he’s never stolen anything. That one time he got spanked and made to apologize to the store owner for taking something he didn’t pay for–a lesson he never forgot even if he was a toddler.

  20. ZeoViolet says:

    And PS….maybe it’s just that part of my job requires me to watch people all the time to catch potential shoplifters, but that makes me frown reading the confessions on here.

  21. ZeoViolet says:

    ***At the store where I work, I mean.

  22. Hershey says:

    Once when I was trying to sneak out of my friends house, a cop saw me, but even though he didn’t stop me I didn’t wear the same outfit in her town again [she lives in a different town from me.]
    Other than that, not really, though it’d be kind of fun to try shoplifting with different outfits xD

    Super sneezer ftw.

  23. Ziriath says:

    I’ve never been thrown out of somewhere…In the city where I live is quite a good clothing store, but with an unpleasant security man, and he stops random people while they leaving the shop and makes them to open their backpacks or bags and prove they had stolen nothing, even when they have security frames and cameras there. I hate it, but the shop is only one in the city where I can buy good shirts.

    Also, I hate when the security frames in shops are defective and set off for example because of book from library or even without any reason. So the security man make me to take things out of my backpack or pockets in and of course nothing is found. But I feel quite embarassed, especially when I have full pockets of tampons, used handkerchiefs or empty food wrappings…It happened to me three times, awww.

  24. Ziriath says:

    eh, sorry-*even when THERE are security frames…*

  25. Jamila says:

    Yeah, actually. I got caught taking a book out of the library, and they’ve literally banned me. Meanwhile, kids walk right through the sensors with books without anyone raising a brow. I was just unlucky. I’m allowed back (with an adult, for fear I take a magazine again), but I’m hoping to avoid it till sometime next year, with the hopes that they forget what I look like. No more pink jacket for me.

  26. sco3tt says:

    Kinda like trying to go Midnight Bowling at that one place where I was on a drinking team that occasionally bowled. Apparently, Banned for Life doesn’t end after only 6 years if the same manager is still there and sees you.

    At least, that’s what I hear.

  27. Croc says:

    @sco3tt Sounds like something that SOMEONE I KNOW had happen…

  28. Jino says:

    I never had to wear a disguise… But here’s the story.
    There was this group of people I used to hang out with at this cafe…
    This one time (I wasn’t there) one of them goes out to talk on the phone, as it was noisy inside. After he’s done talking, two people ask him to call out the barman, and so he does. Apparently, the barman had gotten into some trouble, as the two people tried to beat him up.
    A couple of months later, I walk in and order a drink. And there’s the barman – looking at me and saying “You know I can’t serve you.” I went “Why the hell?” and he goes “Because you were part of that group.”
    So I gave up on visiting that place for a while… Until, about half a year later, the management (and barman) changed.
    It’s still a bad memory, though, as I had brought a friend to that place when I got kicked out. And no one ever got to know what trouble the barman had gotten himself into – it was completely awkward.

  29. Metaright says:

    When I was like 4, I shoved gift cards into my pocket thinking you were supposed to, hence “gift”. XD

  30. Sigurdgram says:

    ok, so…none of that kind of stuff happened to me, but I have to say…he looks like one of my favorite Tick characters right now. The Chainsaw Vigilante.

  31. hayabusa says:

    i was caught once, and never will be again. i will also never go in that store again, since they fired my sister 2 days before Christmas, without actually telling her. they said “suspended pending termination”, and she was a nervous wreck until they finally told her that she was terminated like 2 to 3 weeks later.

  32. Tech says:

    never a physical location, but I had to wait 6 months for my IP address to change to get back onto a website I had been banned from.

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