#744 – Weft

Whenever I get a new toasting device I have to go through that frustrating period of finding the sweet spot on the settings to get the perfect piece of toast. It’s a delicate balance between chewy and charred. What’s even more frustrating is when you will have been enjoying toasted perfection for many months and someone else will decide to change the settings just because they like to fiddle with knobs and switches. I wonder if they have toaster ovens with programmable settings yet.

Also, it’s survey time! If you have a few moments please fill out this survey. The survey will help me possibly get some new advertisers. Thanks!


25 thoughts on “#744 – Weft”

  1. Micah says:

    Bagels will do that to metal toasters, too.

  2. Stealth1525 says:

    my toaster oven has no programmable settings
    just time, heat.

  3. jahg says:

    Biff can knit. And in lilac, too. OK, so, why is he knitting a toaster? And, please, don’t tell me it’s just because he can.

    In other news, Biff doesn’t seem to fill his waistband any more. Is he losing weight due to charred breakfasts?



  4. Mophtran says:

    Agh, I hate when you can’t get your toaster to toast to your standards.

    In other news, one of the ladies I works with will get a toasted bagel from Dunkin’ Donuts, then proceed to char the hell out of it in the toaster at work. Then she slathers it with cream cheese like it’s a regular bagel. Hows he doesn’t break her teeth on the things is a wonder.

  5. Mophtran says:

    Oops, I made a typo. How she, not hows he*

  6. corjoth says:

    i never have that problem….after the first charred peice they all come out perfect>.>

  7. Linzleh says:

    As always I am greatly impressed with Biff’s skills…he’s knitting to stay toasty?!

  8. dartigen says:

    I usually have to move the toaster back. Dad enjoys near-charred, Mum and I prefer well-toasted.
    However, when it comes to the sandwich-toaster, it’s more of a matter of knowing when to turn the sandwich around for even flatness (as opposed to wedge-shaped) than anything else. It never goes beyond well-toasted (probably due to my impatience in wanting delicious grilled cheese and sundried tomato sandwiches).

  9. Meredia says:

    Click my name for the link… It is a long one, so I cheated a bit. It is the toaster of the FUTURE.

    I had no idea they did exist… Digital toaster, for the people so annoyed by their toast settings they’ll pay $80 for a toaster.

  10. Silversaraph says:

    Well, cooking week, but I would have guessed wordplay week.

  11. Silversaraph says:

    Meh, looked back, wasn’t here in a few days. Just ignore me for the moron that I am. Unless you cook with a pneumatic drill.

  12. Silversaraph says:

    No. this is the toaster of the future. (my link). though if you search “toaster” on ebay, you’ll get something for 25 thousand dollars.

  13. AndyT13 says:

    Man, I hate those surveys but I love Biff so I done dood it.

  14. Brad says:

    I guess my dad doesn’t believe in timers, because when he visits he sets the timer to the longest setting and just pops it himself when he thinks it’s ready.

    Needless to say, dad visiting means I eat burned toast.

  15. -2! says:

    I cant stand the smell of toast. Probably because when i was younger I only ate it when sick so now the smell of toast makes me feel sick.

  16. Scurvy says:

    He’s getting skinny from having to knit a whole new toaster everytime he wants a meal. He really has to think about how badly he wants that next bagel

  17. IDK says:

    😀 Biff makes me happy.

    I really wish my toaster had digital settings like some new fridges, complete with all sorts of little LCDs displaying the timer and current temperature.
    I need a new toaster, though. My old one (probably 15-20 years old) finally fried (That hurt! Electricity + heat + finger = pain. :ouch: ). So we just use the oven for now. :rolleyes:

  18. raiettei says:

    I just got done reading through all of the archives, and I’ve got to say…

    This is one of THE most entertaining comics I have read in a LONG while!

    Well done!

  19. -2! says:

    Also Chris as you may have noticed, I seam to use HTML code on occasion. And i was wondering if there was any suggestions on what tags i can use. As of yet I have limited myself to <i> and <a>. I mean I absolutely would not use tagslike <script>, and am 90% sure I can use <u> and <strong> I am more wondering about tags like <hr/> for example.

  20. no name says:

    I do not understand this comic. EXPLAIN PLEASE!

  21. -2! says:

    @ no name

    He made himself a toaster oven out of fabric, flammable fabric with a low ignition point clearly. After cooking a single bagel the entire toaster oven burned down and he has to remake it, and being made out of fabric that means knit it.

    And yes i know that explaining a joke completely kills the humour.

  22. no name says:

    @ -2! Ahh, thank you. I’m surprised that went by me. And the explanation does kill the humor but when I go back to the comic knowing the point, there’s still some left.

  23. PirateGal says:

    Amazing, knitted toaster ovens, technology of the future!

  24. dave says:

    i freeze my bread because i rarely eat it and when i do buy some i buy the designer multigrain loaves that are made for people with lots of money and therefore plenty of time to sit around, feel guilty for sitting around, then go work out and be anxious about their weight. The toaster has to overcome the frozenness and so nothing ever gets burnt. Plus the nice warm toast melts cheese for sandwiches perfectly.

  25. YukiSnowflake says:

    Even worse is the period of time you have to put up with that horrible smell after you’ve just bought it.
    When I first got my toastie-maker (*which sucks*) and tried it, the kitchen smelt like burnt plastic for WEEKS. I kid ye not.

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