#735 – Onager

I don’t remember hating specific foods when I was a kid but I do remember wanting to go do other things rather than eat my dinner. There was one occasion where I was the last person to be sitting at the table because I refused to finish my hamburger. “You can’t go outside to play until you finish your food.” my dad said as he got up to leave the table. As soon as he was out of sight I took my hamburger into the kitchen and buried it in the trash. “Done!” I said as I raced into the living room to put my shoes on. Unfortunately my dad had a better understanding of the passage of time than I did and knew it took longer than 10 seconds for a kid to eat what was left of my meal. He found my dinner in the trash and I spent the rest of the night watching the sun slowly setting from my bedroom window.


52 thoughts on “#735 – Onager”

  1. Wow, Lil’ Biff looks weird! And that’s compared to his adult body!
    Also, congrats on 3 years of eyebrow goodness. My own comic hits 1 year tomorrow! ‘Tis a good week in general.

  2. SHOTGUNsniper says:

    So, his eyebrows get shorter over time then?

  3. PsychoDuck says:

    Three years, huh? Man, time goes by like greased lightning, doesn’t it? My own little blog is turning two next month… Feels like just yesterday I wrote that first review…

    Anyway, about the comic: Little Biff is adorable in an incredibly bizarre way. Any kid that can build a fully functioning catapult of such small dimensions is an instant hit with me.

    The Duck Has Spoken.

  4. Drakey says:


    That is all.

  5. Craig says:

    Today my web link is to my site’s onager page. Enjoy (and note how Biff does not have an onager, but it is close. No torsion bundle, and a sling would be nice)

  6. Craig says:

    Oh, and hide the Broccoli in the milk! My Brother and I liked that one. That does look like a glass of milk there.

  7. We were never forced to eat together as kids, so we saw “formal meals” as a treat at my house.

  8. Anon says:

    Hey, is that the mashed potato mesa from Close Encounters of the Third Kind?

  9. Also, I guess Biff’s love of green walls comes from his early years. Either that, or he lives in his parents’ house. Maybe inherited?
    I’m tempted to paint my walls this shade of green now.

  10. …and thanks to Craig’s comment, I now know what an onager is. Had never seen that word before.

  11. Speakerblast says:

    Haha, his taste in shirts hasn’t changed much. ‘Lil Biff week anyone?

  12. Defyant says:

    It is Kid Biff week! See the previous comic.. well I reckon it is anyway.
    Beside that, I don’t think I could make a catapult that well. Kid Biff sure is constructive!

  13. mr toast says:

    i like what biff did to his potatoes, how he turned them into a tiny devils tower just like in that movie with the aliens. so cute!

  14. Izual Shima says:

    @Chris – You manage to keep reinventing the concept, despite of how recurring the “kid memories” and “food stuff” themes are. Kudos to that. It’s yet another funny little piece of Biffness.

    Thinking on it, it’s surprising how long it took for a young Biff strip to show up, considering once again, how often this stuff is based on childhood moments.

    You either have a particularly interesting childhood, or you’re just very good at showing what is there. Or both.

    So, Happy Biffday®!

    Now people, bear with me…

    @Kurast – I’m not good at giving up, so…please? Read this? Tell me where you got your nickname from? Diablo 2, or somewhere else?

  15. JustRyan says:

    chris, i had a similar hamburger story when i was a kid; i refused to finish my burger one day (it was huge for a 7 y/o to eat) and consequently went on a multi-year burger strike because of said huge burger. my parents had to get hot dogs for me when everyone else was having burgers.

    little biff is awesome, btw.

  16. soilent says:

    I did hate Kidney and Liver. Even today I refuse them when I’m invited over.

  17. Hehe love the mash potato sculpture sneaking in there too…

  18. Ana says:


    Biff jr is sooooooo sweet


  19. Kit-Kun says:

    Aww! Little Biff! Wait… is this week…childhood Biff!?

  20. Rasheed says:

    One time I threw away a whole chicken quarter in the bathroom trash. I got in a LOT of trouble!!

  21. dartigen says:

    My parents learned by the time that I was 10 that I couldn’t normally eat a large meal, so now Mum will usually give me less and leave enough for a second helping if I feel like it.
    Awesome little Close Encounters reference there, too.

    It’s weird to think that this site is already three years old…time flies, I guess.

  22. JC says:

    Eat your greens tiny Biff.
    Also, congratulations on your three years Chris and Biff.

  23. MaskedMan says:

    Gods… This one flashes me back!

    Did you know that applesauce remains in a coherent lump when launched from a spoon-a-pult? Did you know that applesauce will cling to the overhead quite well..? Did you, further know, that neglected apple sauce lumps will set to the consistency of silicon caulking putty..? And will even take a coat of paint?

    Yes, there is a house out there, which even to this day has little lumps of fossilized applesauce embedded in the ceiling paint. Some day, an archaeologist is going to be very, very puzzled.

  24. Lucca says:

    Awww!! Little Biff is soooo cute!!!!

  25. Ziggy Stardust says:

    Little Biff looks like a guy I would’ve hung out with when I was young.
    On the contrary, Chris, I refused to eat anything that wasn’t chicken or mac ‘n cheese. My parents eventually resorted to ‘Just have two bites’ so I had a bite and a half and left.

  26. Dang, and I like broccoli…

  27. Dzelda says:

    Let me guess…. Childhood Experiences wekk, it just has to be. Ive had alot of fun childhood experiences too…. well, memorable anyways. I used to be a skeleton with bones when I was little. I barely ate anything. The dctors office was more like a horror flick than anything XD

  28. steve-o says:

    It’s either Li’l Biff week or food week ( wasabi, mexican food, lasagna, chinese takeout, spaghetti and meatball, and now a childhood dinner.)

    Also, congrats on #3 Chris! May your un-Biffish April Fools comics outrage me for years to come…I mean that in a good way.

  29. Chris says:

    Thanks for all the kind words everyone. 🙂

  30. steve-o says:

    Sorry for the double post.

    I meant to put “year 3”, no idea why I put “#3”
    And, I just checked the date of the first Biff comic…and I’m pretty sure it said January 2, not April 6.

  31. Chris says:

    @steve-o – thebookofbiff.com launched on April 9th 2006. (Check the date of the first comment on the first comic.) There were 43 comics available on that first day with this one being on the homepage:

  32. DracoZereul says:

    Heh, I was kinda like you as a kid. I always had better things to do than sit down and have dinner with everyone. However, instead of throwing food away, I’d clean my plate faster than anyone else at the table. It usually didn’t matter what they gave me to eat, I’d wolf it down and be done in about 5 minutes, then I’d be back out to play. Ticked my family off something fierce, though. I can’t tell you how many times I got the “You need to enjoy your food, not just inhale it” lecture as a kid.

  33. Osa says:

    Did Biff have those eyebrows at birth then?

  34. -2! says:

    the first time of young Biff…

    Now i am going to picture that in all your childhood anecdotes Chris.

  35. no name says:

    Baby Biff!! Maybe… 3 years old Biff? I also see your classic “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” mashed potato shape 😀

  36. no name says:

    Why does it keep saying my comment is awaiting moderation? I only remember it saying that the first time I posted a comment. Sorry for the double post.

  37. -2! says:

    Now i know whats bugging me…

    He looks like a light bulb!

  38. tigerbitten says:

    Awwwww…..he’s so adorable!

  39. MadDavid says:

    Hmm, biff as a kid, toy seige weaponry, food, and the call-back carved mashed potatos

    I call “Biff as a kid” week.

  40. Rated R for Redonk says:

    Awwwww, it’s a little Biff! With overly large eyebrows to match. ~n.n~ Congrats on the three years, I hope there’ll be many more.

  41. Heatherface says:

    lol Again with the mashed potatoes!

  42. Zach Light says:


  43. Felix says:

    Does it make me weird that i think Young Biff is incredibly cute?

  44. Pwnness says:

    Ha! devil’s peak mashed potatoes I just saw close encounters of the third kind a couple of days ago

  45. Lan says:

    This means something. This is important.

  46. femax says:

    baby biff!

  47. kIKi THE kitty says:

    awwwwwzzzzzzzzzzzz biff is so cute >_< i juss wanna squeeze him ^_^

  48. Tech says:

    Biff the Kid

  49. Pix says:

    He’s so cute, and his eyebrows are so small

  50. Antsan says:

    I don’t get why so many people don’t like broccoli, brussels sprouts and the like. For me those are some of the tastiest vegetables ever and I cannot remember a time where I didn’t like them.

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