#689 – Sample

Most food items can’t be sampled before they are purchased. I think the one that really disappoints me is ice cream. It looks like a perfectly good pint of butter pecan until you take that first bite. That’s when you learn that a very bad person has allowed it to melt and then re-freeze a few times before selling it to you as if nothing happened. Instead of a deliciously smooth experience you get a sad grainy echo of what might have been. Maybe in the future there will be a little indicator strip on the side that will permanently change to red if it is ever exposed to warm temperatures for more than a few minutes.


62 thoughts on “#689 – Sample”

  1. Micah says:

    Okay, I’m stumped on this week’s theme. I thought I had it, but these last two totally ruined it…unless I’m missing the movie references in these two.

  2. MadDavid says:

    It might be that he ran out of themes and did an un-themed week.

  3. Leo says:

    I think that the theme is “this comic makes my day incrementally more awesome,” like it is every week. (Thanks for the awesome comics)

  4. Knight Blazer says:

    @Micah yesterday’s comic: Predator perhaps? Today, hell i don’t know

  5. I’m convinced there’s no theme this week. Not disappointed, though.
    If there IS a theme, I’m guessing “Things I thought of while eating hamburgers without onions”. *nods*

  6. Kurast says:

    Things you wish you could do?

    Wish you could test food.

    Wish you could always get that second date.

    Wish you could always order from another restaurant regardless of which restaurant you’re at.

    Wish you could see a good movie without getting spoilers first?

    Wish you could get as many snacks from work meetings and save them for later?

  7. The Dukenator says:

    Biff is blowing bubbles. We used to do that years ago, it annoyed the hell out of people. Try going to dinner with someone important like a date, and end up doing what Biff did. You’ll get stares at you, but then again…

  8. Reaper says:

    That’s actually how I got food poisoning once. From ice cream, for the love of God….

  9. Jillers says:

    Just as a point of interest: at the ice cream shops around me you can ask to sample ice cream: they take a little plastic spoon, put some of the ice cream on it and give it to you.

  10. starseedjenny says:

    @Kurast – Hmmm…not bad

  11. Reaper says:

    Damn…. Kurast is Biff in disguise.

  12. Eltharrion says:

    @Reaper – yeah, the same idea. Next we get to see him/her with extremely long eyebrows that sometimes defy gravity and allso anything you can imagine. Waiting for it.

  13. TigerGulp says:

    I felt that way about some B & J mint chocolate I had once. I was angry and depressed afterwards…then had a cookie! 😀

  14. Chris says:

    This week did have a theme but it is very ordinary and generic compared to the theories that have been proposed.

  15. The theme is “Week with no theme” week!

    …or annoying people and being annoyed by people week.

  16. Seraphine says:

    on the other hand, when you DO get a good carton of ice cream, all the other troubles in the world go away.

  17. Brownie Boy says:

    Ah of course, they all have something to do with food!
    Eating cookies
    Eating popcorn
    Eating at a restaurant
    Eating on a date
    Eating/Drinking at a coffee shop!

  18. Eekabee says:

    Seems to me like just an ordinary(in Biff Terms) day to me, office meetings, movie, date, lunch, getting an coffee.

  19. Beth says:

    So, Chris, if we go through the whole day and still no one has guessed the theme, will you take pity on us and tell us what it is?

  20. carrie says:

    My theme guess- referencing other people/things not seen in Biff world???

    -Biff’s boss brought in the cookies
    -movie go-ers at the theater ruining the movie
    -other patrons/wait staff/other restaurants
    – Biff’s date
    – the person who made his cafe mocha

    I laid awake all night last night, and thats all I could come up with 😛

  21. BJrocks says:

    dude, that strip is an awesome idea. As I work for Ben n Jerry’s, I’ll see what I can do to bring it to reality. Maybe the first pint with the strip could be a Biff flavor, what would he want to eat?

  22. -JAD- says:

    Why should there be a “theme” every week?


    I’m not *quite* getting this one, is Biff blowing on his mocha? What for?

  23. DM8954 says:

    I thought the theme might be the 5 senses but I couldn’t figure out smell and touch between disappearing cookies and hanging upside down… and hanging upside down doesn’t involve food.

    Maybe we’re thinking too complex.

  24. Chris says:

    @-JAD- He’s testing it.

  25. Chris says:

    @DM8954 – Seriously… the real theme is boring.

    @BJrocks – You are going to make ice cream about blowing bubbles?

  26. Micah says:

    There’s food in each of these, except the date one…but one could assume they went to a restaurant.

  27. Micah says:

    (Sorry for the double post.)

    Though…dates are a type of food.

    “Bad Dates.” –Sallah, Raiders of the Lost Ark

  28. Kurast says:

    @Reaper — Damn, you’ve rumbled me.

  29. Julie says:

    This one is funny. Sometimes I’ll blow through my straw to make bubbles and then complain (whine) that “my straw is broken”. My husband looks at me like I’m a little kid and laughs. He’s such a good sport.

  30. Beaker says:

    You konw the little strip on the side of the carton of icecream is a really good idea… I bet someone could market that… and a Biff Flavored Icecream…

    Maybe something with two thin lines of chocolate or caramel running through it resembelilng Biff’s eyebrows… mmm

  31. starspider says:

    I think maybe “anticipation” for the theme. Or something like that.

  32. Wait…maybe the theme is about stuff Chris has done recently!

    Is this theme about…


    …you’re right, it is boring.

  33. no name says:

    I think BJrocks was talking about the strip idea, Chris. I would say the week was food and drink, but yesterday’s comic doesn’t fit into that theory.

  34. Kenji the Ninja says:

    Is the theme “ways Biff’s dates go horribly awry”?

  35. carrie says:

    okay.. another guess…how about things Biff does outside of his own house…
    -at work
    -at a theater
    -at a restaurant
    -at his dates house ( its not his house cause the view from the window is different!!)
    -at the coffee shop

  36. starseedjenny says:

    Also, can I say that today’s strip art is like a step up from what it usually is (which is saying something)…I mean, I love his sweatshirt.

  37. billy says:

    Ah psychological warfare. I came here thinking, “Who cares what the theme is. Just enjoy the comics already.” Now, all this buzz and speculation has me curious to know the answer. Well played, Sir. Well played.

  38. Linzleh says:

    Gosh, you all need to smile, reminisce, appreciate the art and move on!

  39. MadDavid says:

    Food outside the home?

  40. skywerwolf says:

    this weeks theme was……………………………. what biff dose in his spare time. is it right? or close?

  41. kazate says:

    chris… your killing me…just tell us theme before ma heart explodes, ploxploxploxploxploxploxploxploxploxploxploxploxplox…. have pity on ma A.D.H.D.ness

  42. ZackDark says:

    is the theme easier to find in the comic itself, or in your comments (the ones that always follow the panels)?

  43. kazate says:

    @billy: I like to know teh theme of helps me sleep at night(and not knowing with itch at ma brain for about 2 weeks until it splodes

  44. starseedjenny says:

    evidence that other people exist week?

  45. Chris says:

    Ok, here’s the theme…
    and like I promised…
    it’s boring.

    Social interactions:
    Going to see a movie
    Going to a restaurant
    Going on a date
    Buying a cup of coffee

    It may not be a very interesting theme but it’s what I used to inspire the comics for the week. 🙂

  46. Kaeajath says:


    Now, I have to admit, the theme is not exciting like it usually is, but seriously. Biff is never boring. His antics make me look at life with a new set of eyes. Squinty eyes underneath a giant pair of eyebrows. Biff is somebody who can make something as simple as waking up in the morning a hilarious adventure. I look forward to reading The Book of Biff every time I wake up. For creating such a simple, yet so amazing webcomic Chris, I salute you.

  47. Kurast says:

    Carrie was pretty close. Things he does outside his own house.

  48. ZackDark says:

    totally second that one, Kaeajath.

  49. i.half4 says:

    I think Carrie got it when she guessed “people not seen,” the people with whom these social interactions took place. Five points, I say!

    …and what’s so boring about social interactions?

  50. aya-kun says:

    that’s why I go to gelato places sometimes instead of Ice Cream. They let you sample their stuff.

    I hate it worse when my kid sister orders on a menu something b/c she saw it on a cartoon and when it comes out of the restaurant kitchen… she doesn’t like it and it’s wasted.

  51. eltharrion says:

    …Wait, was this the first time when the theme wasn’t quessed? Wow chris, you finally did it. You suprised everybody with your thinking. Way to go. *clapping hands*

  52. ZackDark says:

    he meant compared to our crazy-*** guesses.
    but any theme is valid, I think, as long as the comics stay as awesome as it is. 🙂

  53. Snowflake9 says:

    i like Biff’s new duds.

  54. starseedjenny says:

    Hey, I guessed it. More or less.

    Rock on, me.

  55. Akaroshii says:

    Social interactions. o____o
    I totally did not make that connection. As because I am a total genius, doncha know. ^^;

  56. Albireo says:

    Wooo, I finally finished reading through the archives!

  57. Reg says:

    Congrats Albireo!
    As for Chris’s comment, at Cold Stone Creamery they let you sample the ice cream, it rocks!

  58. Boumama says:

    I had the ice cream experience myself, last week. My B&J Willie Nelson Peach Cobbler ice cream was all granulated and the crust bits were all squishy and ick. I…think I cried a little.

  59. Danny says:

    McConnell’s Ice Cream actually lets you sample anything that you see in their ice cream tubs. The ice cream is really fresh too. It’s one of the few ice cream parlors I still go to.
    If you got one near by, I highly recommend it. (I’d suggest the Dutch Chocolate)

    Cold Stone does as well.

  60. Lurch says:

    there’s some weird chemistry/physics thing involved with crystalized ice cream.. I think it has to be melted then refrozen quicky, or something like that. It IS possible to melt/refreeze and not go all dusty.

    however.. yeah.. the one aspect that never changes is the “thaw” bit. it should be doable to create a little temperature gizmo that goes red permanently if the contents get warmer than – say – 30 degrees (yes, experimentation would be needed to determine the correct temp)

    Now, if you will excuse me, I have a 5 gallon tub of Strawberry Hagen Daaz to finish…

  61. YukiSnowflake says:

    i want biffs jacket!

  62. YukiSnowflake says:

    i also want some icecream!
    but, i was wondering and forgot to comment on last comic, who was biff’s date?
    and, why is biff’s jacket in this comic so UBER AWESOME!

    creepy thought

    he looks… almost… normal!
    other than the biffbrows and blowing bubbles in coffee, but… creepy…

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