#596 – Fipple

Years ago there was a short period where my brother and I got home from school before either of my parents did. So instead of going home to our house we rode the bus home to the house of a girl from my school that I didn’t know very well. I knew who she was but I certainly had never been to her house before. The first day we went there her mom showed us around the house. The bathroom was the most memorable room we saw. Almost every available surface was covered in a sort of plush carpeting, including the toilet lid and tank. Not only was the tank covered in lush fabrics, it also had a push button flush. I had never seen a fuzzy or handle-less toilet before. There was a trick to flushing it. Since the tank was covered, you had to know the exact right clump of fuzz to push. It’s funny how my 7 year old brain decided that the reason for the secret flush button was so that if they ever had a burglar in their house they wouldn’t be able to use the bathroom.


34 thoughts on “#596 – Fipple”

  1. Micah says:

    I was partially right. It’s instrument week.

  2. Speakerblast says:

    Oh my god I lost my recorder! And I have guests coming over! I knew I should have included a self destruct button on my toilet for this occasion!

  3. Chuck says:

    I used to have a fuzzy toilet, but it had a handle. No carpet on the floor, though. I hate that for a bathroom.

  4. Heinrich says:

    lol can i have a lock like that installed on my bedroom?

  5. Chris says:

    I never understood fuzzy toilet seats, I mean there is the obvious nicety that it’s warm when you sit down, but it really seems very very dirty, I mean there is so much opportunity there for that toilet seat cover to get gross.

  6. Tarrant says:

    Inappropriate usage of musical instrument week?
    And one note off-key and… reverse flush?

  7. RG says:

    This kind of toilet will sell for people who like playing music. 🙂

  8. Psymon says:

    In extremely cold or hot weather, the instrument gets off-key enough that the code doesn’t work. This isn’t a big problem while the air conditioning works, though.
    If something happens so that Biff can’t breathe while he needs to flush the toilet (like a bad cough, frequent hiccups, or noxious fumes) he’s also in trouble.

  9. MaskedMan says:

    Hit a wrong note, the toilet goes into lock-down, and it requires admin privileges to unlock it again…

  10. @psymon – what KIND of noxious fumes…? 😉

  11. speearr says:

    hope he washes his hands before using that instrument…..

  12. Mophtran says:

    @Chris “Almost every available surface was covered in a sort of plush carpeting, including the toilet lid and tank.” He meant the lid, which you don’t really come into contact with so much. They get less dirty, though.
    @starseedjenny 😆

  13. Twilightfairy says:

    Fuzzy bathroom. Those are two words that should not go together.

  14. Jackson says:

    Sweet toilet. Pretty inconvenient, though.

  15. AdmiralChaos says:

    It would have its uses 😛

  16. “Biff searches for a way to deal with the cobra infestation in the plumbing.”

  17. kenshin620 says:

    ….who paints his bathroom that color?

  18. MadDavid says:

    @kenshin620: I think that’s the shower curtain.

    @RG: I like playing music, but I wouldn’t want to be standing in the bathroom while playing it

    @Chris Hallbeck: So far, you’ve featured 2 of the 3 instruments I’ve actually played. If you come up with the 3rd, I’ll know you’re spying on me.

  19. Chris says:

    @MadDavid – Give me a hint?

  20. trevor says:

    That’s an intresting bathroom.

  21. MoosePhysh says:

    Pertinent questions:
    Does Biff wash his hands before playing the recorder?
    Where is the recorder stored normally? Above the toilet?

  22. His wall is made of cheese

  23. no name says:

    Can you do violin?? Haha I play violin. It’s cool.

  24. That would be a pretty awesome thing for door locks…I mean, unless someone was a music major or got clear video of you playing the instrument, they probably couldn’t replicate it.

  25. Reg says:

    @MoosePhysh: Those are good questions…

  26. no name says:

    Not really. Since Biff is presumably the only one in Biffland, no one uses the recorder but him. And he would wash his hands after its use, and doesn’t put the recorder in his mouth.

  27. Zaffa says:

    Anyone having Ocarina of Time flashbacks, or is this just me?

  28. Torg says:

    @no name: have you forgotten the body armor one, or the barber, or the housejacking, or the carnies?
    There are lots of people in Biffland. They just have the decency to stay off-camera.

  29. Chuck says:

    That’s the wall? I thought it was the shower curtain.

  30. Baltic says:

    @no name – I think there are quite a few people in Biffland, but, come on. Would you risk being in the same frame with Biff? Even me, doing my best to become the closest physically/thermodynamically possible thing to real-life Biff would have my doubts…

  31. joenisnorac says:

    dude man, i love biff. This made me laugh really hard.

  32. jykcor says:

    “Biff decides to put his snake charming skills to the test.”


  33. Boumama says:

    Actually, I saw the flute, and mentally heard the little notes Gene Wilder plays in Willy Wonka…

  34. Allie says:

    Hope one of those eleven notes isn’t the “Brown Note” – that was the oddest South Park episode I ever saw.

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