#539 – Sternocleidomastoid

A few years ago I was over at a friend’s house goofing around with their young daughter. We were playing this game where she would hide behind the couch and peek out from the top or the sides to “surprise” me. She was too little to understand that she needed to randomize her pattern a little more. She stuck to a strict left side, top, right side, top pattern. She popped out of the left side and I pretended to be scared. “AAAAAAA!” I know she was going to pop out from the top of the couch next so I quickly jumped up on to the cushions and cut her off in mid hop with my own “RRRRRAAAAHHHH!” I was quite surprised when she fell backwards putting a hole in the drywall with her head.


44 thoughts on “#539 – Sternocleidomastoid”

  1. MaskedMan says:

    Hah! I’ve put my head through a few walls. But the best “accidental door” was the drunk sailors playing at WWF in the barracks passageway – One extra double-sized doorway to go, thank you!

    I’d have loved to have seen them trying to explain that one to the Master Chief!

  2. Psymon says:

    I’ve not scared anyone badly enough to make one fall, though my habit of trying to walk quietly tends to mean I make people jump when they turn around and see me standing right there. Alternately, I get trod upon when they fail to turn around before stepping back.

    By the way, was the girl’s head injured beyond mild bruising?

  3. Libraman says:

    I can see how the title fits the comic, from what I can see, the impact was pretty hard on our Biff’s neck. 🙂

    As for the little girl, how was she at the time, fine and dandy?

  4. Micah says:

    For some reason, I have a fear of stretching my arms above my head when there’s a ceiling fan on. I’m not even all that tall.

  5. Three of Nineteen says:

    Now THAT’s more like the Biff we know and love – bouncing on a trampoline indoors. At least we know, from well over two years’ experience, that we don’t have to worry about brain damage – since I’m not sure there IS one in there.

  6. Shanchan says:

    Ohhh you just made my headache worse >_<
    But now I can share Biff’s pain.

  7. Fafnir13 says:

    Eh, drywall ain’t all that strong. I’m sure she’s fine. I’m sure your friend was thrilled to have a hole to repair though.
    I really like the touch that he set it up not only indoors but also under a ceiling fan.

  8. brickface says:

    Wouldn’t his eyebrows get caught in the fan?

  9. silfedac says:

    Chris, you’re such a jerk.

    Ha ha ha, but I’m just kidding.

    Or am I?

    Yeah, I am.

  10. Micah says:

    Brickface, I don’t think the fan was on at the time.

  11. Chris says:

    The girl was fine. She was just confused by the horrific look of shock on my face.

  12. Ralf says:

    You, sir, are a golden god. Put that little munchkin right in her place!

  13. I’ve had a few “Biffish” experiences with exercise trampolines…when I was 2, I reached under one to grab a toy while someone was jumping on it. And people wonder why I became right handed…:-D

  14. kryhavok says:

    I wonder if Biff used to have a brain?

    I tend to have that quiet walking to Psymon, but I also usually do it on purpose. My dad is really easy to scare. All I have to do is come running into his office (he’s usually quite oblivious) and say “Dad,” saying it not very obtrusively and he freaks out. It’s fun to watch. Can’t scare my mom though, she always knows…

  15. THOR says:

    I accidentally put my whole lower body through wallboard at my church once.

  16. SamuS says:

    Not one of the smartest things there, Biff. xD

    And it’s actually amazing how little kids recover from some of the scariest looking things. My Uncle told me he was horrified when he saw me running on my family’s set of wooden chairs in the livingroom when I was little, and that I slipped and fell. I apparently hit my head about 3 or 4 times on the way down. I was okay afterwards, but that would have definitely freaked me out to see. He warned me about that and everything, too, so he didn’t just watch this happen.

  17. Gato says:

    Those trampolines were such a tease for me as a kid. Mom wouldn’t let us have a real one, and we did have an exercise one, but compared to a nice, big one….

  18. Brokenbridge says:

    I’ve scared someone so bad that she tried to push me down but the floor was slippery and she had socks on so she wound up pushing me and then falling.

  19. FSOneblin says:

    Reminds me of that one time I got a concussion. I was playing on my brothers friends basement stares, there wasn’t any rails on the stares, so we like to jump off them. I lied on my stomach, only to find that I was stuck. There was only one way I thought to get down, so I leaned forward, and fell head first, on a floor that was cement with carpet. I missed the first 2 days of kindergarden.

    Don’t Panic: FSOneblin

  20. Chris says:

    Biff is all about buffing up these days, he better be careful or you’ll have to start drawing him with muscles

  21. Seraphine says:

    I love child injury stories.

  22. Gobbledegook says:

    I did that with a kid I was babysitting around 15 years ago… I was flipping them over a couch and my aim was off for the fifth attemt.
    The poor kid ended up conking his head into the wooden armrest, and wouldn’t stop crying until he talked to his mom. He was fine, but it was very nerve-wracking.

  23. Speakerblast says:

    I hit my head on a TV yesterday….

    I managed to avoid that low hanging thing in our physics room for a whole semester, then I smack my head on it after class on the last day… -_-

    Almost made it…

  24. Dzelda says:

    Why does this remind me of the many times Ive rammed my head unintentioanlly on things that broke alot? Like the cupboard, and the wall, and someones head. Id be okay, but Id end up doing a lit more damage to the other person or thing than to me. I wonder if I got a few of Biffs genes……………….

  25. Alcadeius says:

    Psymon: I do the same thing – GnySgt even thinks so

    Micah: I have that same fear and at 5’6″ i have no way of hitting anything unless its a REALLY low ceiling.. or i jump

  26. Rhiannon says:

    I’m only 5′ tall and have yet to fear low hanging objects and ceilings. The ground is my enemy. Yesterday, I got in a fight with the dirt. It was tired of me walking all over it and I was tired of it catching my feet with its rocks. I lost.

  27. Carbon says:

    I remember when I was running around the house at a young age and broke the glass window of the front door.

    The strange thing is that I broke my arm only two hours later.

  28. Court says:

    aahahahaaa owwww! i feel sorry for the ceiling…and fan 😉
    I has a story to tell now, on the topic of ceilings and the seemingly superhuman abilities of young kids. ok, when i was little my older cousins (who were also supposedly to be watching me) had a ‘who can touch the ceiling first” contest. they would jump up and down over and over trying to reach the ceiling. I wanted to join, but ya know, a 6 year old isn’t very tall. Sooo I had to get a little creative. I used the doorway. With both feet on one side of the frame and my back against the other, i climbed up. And with my palm on the ceiling, my cheers of “hey look, I win!” was cut sort by “AHHH how did you…? GET DOWN YOU’RE GONNA GET HURT!” Apparently, my cousins didn’t even know I was there. fun times XD

  29. Funnyman141 says:

    things I broke with my head a door, a car window, the wall several times, ribs, hinges, thin cement, a wagon wheel chandelier (it fell) and a tree branch so eight things and I live of coarse I think I have billygoat somewhere in my blood……….

  30. qskecksget says:

    May I be the first to say: PWND

    I just started reading Biff today, and I (somehow) got through all 500+ today! These are great man, you should get them published in a newspaper!

  31. the Scarf says:

    I don’t think I’ve EVER broken a wall or ceiling.
    I did break a glass EVERY YEAR though, at every gathering, I would either drup, bump or step on a wine glass. It got to the point that I would burst into tears every time it happened.

    Then one year, someone else broke a glass and the curse was broken.

  32. Mad Mule says:

    i cannot count how many times i have hit my head on object that are around 6 feet high

  33. Micah says:

    @ Alcadeius, yeah…I think I have a bit more of an excuse. I’m 5’10”.

  34. Joe says:

    greatcomic 🙂 punched myself in the head 2 weeks ago then when i was 4 or 5 smacked the corner of my eye on concrete steps luckily not blind but have a nice scar

  35. BlueKitsune says:

    I remember two things! Once time I was at home and I wanted to show off how fast I could run so I took off in a dead sprint down the hall at which point I tripped and ran head first square into a door jam at full speed. The second thing I remember was I was being bounced into the air on a full size trap and they got me so high into the air I lost my mid air balance and I landed face first right on the springs! I barely remember that night beyond having really noticeable spring marks across my face XD

  36. Micah says:

    I’m sorry, I’ve made several comments to this one, but I promise this is my last!

    Sternocleidomastoid is a neck muscle.

  37. Haywire says:

    Also, it would probably be wise to put your trampoline outside.

  38. x__wasabi says:

    If that were to happen in my house, she would just be crying, with a bleeding head. My walls are made of concrete. I think. They’re pretty hard. I can’t punch through them, no matter how hard I try. Yet, they’re not very sound proof..

  39. Jay Carr says:


    I just want to know why you are testing the strength of your concrete walls by punching them.

  40. Halo ChIef says:

    @ Joe: I have a cool scar too. Iwas riding my electric scooter & I ran over 2 potholes and I went flying off. I skidded for about 20 feet on my head & my scooter kept going. i scraped up my arms & legs but I was wearing a helmet so no head damage unlike a certain large-eyebrowed friend we all know & are disturbed by.

  41. trevor says:

    I only just now noticed that one of the fan blades is broken.

  42. GW Crawford says:

    I was living at a friend’s. In order to avoid us ‘accidentally’ taking each other’s groceries, they gave me my own cupboard
    There were 4 cupboards, two above and two below. The lower left was mine. The problem is that the upper left tended to silently swing open when you opened the lower.
    I was looking for a can of soup or somesuch from the second lowest shelf and found it, ironically enough. Which is when I stood up quickly. Right into the now fully open upper left door edge. The next thing I knew I was leaning against the cabinets on the opposite side of the kitchen, blood gently trickling down my head, the upper left cupboard door was off the bottom hinge and my friend;’s cat was looking at me like ‘what did you do that for?’
    After a few moments the world stopped pulsing and I was able to get to my feet.

  43. Amake says:

    I visited a cousin once, and he was vacuuming with headphones and didn’t hear me coming. So he turned around and saw me and literally jumped a foot up and collapsed on the bed behind him. The most I’ve scared someone and I didn’t even try. . .

    Unlike that time a friend was home alone on a dark winter night playing DOOM on the Playstation. I saw him through the window when I came on my surprise visit, and crawled in through the dog tunnel and sneaked up and stood behind him silently. Waiting.

    I didn’t have to wait long. If you know Doom, there’s a lot of places where monsters jump out behind you, so I waited for one of those and then I put a hand on his shoulder and growled.

    We’re still best friends. 🙂

  44. Reg says:

    Wow, this comic just might prove that Biff does actually feel pain!

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