#447 – Velocity

I usually eat a lot faster than my wife. It’s the most apparent when we have the same exact meal. I think part of it is that she likes to eat in stages. She likes to eat all of her fries and then move on to the burger. I eat more in a pile.

Awesome, the pre-orders for Book #2 are at 63%! It’s cool that I’m getting more multi-book orders this time around. The books make great gifts and if you order more than 2 books the rest ship for free! Click here for the Biff store.


38 thoughts on “#447 – Velocity”

  1. Saigus says:

    Haha that sammich looks WAY too long, unless he’s cleaning the barrel before loading a BLT.

  2. FWTrump says:

    Biff is going to have to be careful with the angle of how he positions his mouth there, else he will have that sub go straight through his head. Of course option two isn’t much better with him choking as it is lodged in his throat.

  3. cyber95 says:

    I’d pay good money to watch this.

  4. rono says:

    i wonder what he put on the sandwich…and if i could possibly have some

  5. PsychoDuck says:

    This comic needs one of the following:

    1) A sequel
    2) A live-action recreation
    3) An animated GIF of the ensuing sandwich-induced carnage

    I’d also settle for all of the above 🙂

    The Duck Has Spoken.

  6. Micah says:

    Ah, so you are going for a theme: two words.

  7. SEA says:

    Well, that’ll REALLY be fast…

  8. pieman says:

    or fast foood.

    woo! two word week.

  9. Nick Steele says:

    Oh, My…

  10. Kassil the Erratic says:

    My mother spent years trying to get me not to wolf my food. Then I got a job at a casino that gives me exactly 30 minutes for lunch, of which anywhere from 15-25 minutes is wasted waiting on the cafe server showing up, the food being made, and eventually arriving in front of me. Usually it is very obvious that the waiter just can’t be bothered to do anything with any kind of speed, as things will happen such as the cheese on a cheeseburger having liquefied and flowed completely off due to having sat under a heat lamp for much too long.

    So it turns out that wolfing one’s food can be a handy trait in this era of corporate clockwatching Priests of Money.

  11. TwitchyHug says:

    My sister eats really quickly because in her job, there’s no designated lunch break, so she’s learned to eat as much as possible whenever she can to avoid starvation. She’s a land surveyor, by the by.

  12. Heinrich says:

    hey psycoduck – you wanna volunteer to be the actor in the live action recreation? i’ll film… 😀

    i want the cannon even if i’m not going to use it for that.

  13. Heinrich says:

    psycho* whoops

  14. RFPT says:

    is this two-word week?

  15. Jake says:

    I agree on every single level with both Cyber95 and PsychoDuck.


    Thanks for the laughs :).

  16. Will says:

    I eat faster and more than most people I know, except a few heftier friends… anywho, I decided long ago that the reason behind it was when my brother and I would be playing our sega genesis, who’s games usually didnt have a save game function, dinner would be a quick interruption before we could get back to playing. So we learned to eat as quick as possible so we missed as little sonic the hedgehog action as we could.

  17. Trip Hazard says:

    First I thought it was a piece of wood. Then I read the caption. I looked again. And started chuckling. And laughing. And then I pictured Biff with the entire sandwich distorting the back of his head. And laughed even harder!

    Keep up the awesome-ness!

  18. SevereFlame says:

    Adjective Noun/Verb

    Wonder what the next one’s going to be?

  19. Calamity says:

    heh…gives a whole other meaning to the term “Fast Food” By the way, whats with the two worded jokes?

  20. MaskedMan says:

    – I spent years in submarines.
    – The mess decks on a sub will hold only about a quarter of the crew.
    2/3 of the crew can be expected for every meal (watch schedules, you know!)
    – Eating *fast* is a necessary professional skill for a submariner.
    – I think Biff just beat us all, in that department. While eating a sub, no less.

    After a deceade and a half in submarines, I eat FAR faster than ordinary mortals, and it bemuses my wife that I’m always ready for desert before the kids are.

  21. Jon M. says:

    I want to see the aftermath of speed eating. I think that would be great. 🙂

  22. Hanii Puppy says:

    i notice this is the third day in a row you’ve only used 2 words

  23. Eric says:

    Eating must be orderly! I usually eat one thing at a time too.

  24. Nikanaiko says:

    You have my ultimate respect for being able to think of ideas every day. o.o You are extremely creative.

    And, uh.. Can I have half of that sandwich? I’m hungry.

  25. trevor says:

    If he just had a bigger cannon, then he could eat his cereal before it gets soggy.

  26. Kai Shenlong says:

    Cereal grape shot?

  27. DracoZereul says:

    I’ve neither had a rhyme or a reason to the way I’d eat, nor can I say positively whether or not I eat fast. It all comes down to the situation really.
    For example, on my birthday last year, my parents and I went out, and I got lobster and filet mignon. I had never eaten something like that before, so, without realizing it, I took the butter they brought for dipping, poured it over the lobster, then proceeded to eat the lobster first. It was only after eating the lobster and trying to chew down the quickly-cooling meat, that my mom explained that this particular meal was to be eaten together; first, you eat some meat, then have a bite of seafood, and basically balance yourself thusly to get the full flavor of the meal. I didn’t understand it, but it makes sense in retrospect.
    As for the speed at which I eat, I’d have to say it’s average. I’m almost always the first one done no matter what we’re eating. Maybe it’s because I’m like you; I eat via piles. Instead of eating each food item separately, I like piling it together and eating it as a whole whenever possible. Whenever we have something that doesn’t involve a big chunk of meat/fish/poultry, you know, like burgers or hot dogs or something basic and cheap like that, I’ll just pile it on the plate and devour it as so

  28. Chris says:

    Thanks Nikanaiko. 🙂

  29. Reg says:

    Food- now Fast and Dangerous! Don’t pay much attention to the gunpowder though…

  30. Sye216 says:

    Better OM NOM NOM NOM fast, Biff. Sandwich is COMING AT YOU!

  31. Gaara1357 says:

    Um…Actually, that sandwich would just blow up into a ton of little pieces. (Proved by Mythbusters)

  32. Shorty says:

    Now this is just a bad idea….

  33. marr965 says:

    He’s got this wrong before… The sword swallowing didn’t work, and I don’t think thecereal worked either… hmm…

  34. Raven Gold says:

    That looks deliciously fun.

  35. BrainpanSonata says:

    Nowadays I still tend to wolf down my food like I’m back in high school and only have 20-30 minutes for lunch. Old habits die hard.

  36. DaemonThanatos says:

    hehe…nice thinking, Biff! it’ll leave you hungrier so you can eat more! …or it’ll blow a hole right through you and STILL leave you hungry…

  37. SurveySays says:

    this one makes my throat hurt…

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