#412 – Jawbreaker

I somehow managed to get through my childhood without any of the classic broken window stories. No baseball into the neighbor’s livingroom… no stray basketball crashing out of the bedroom. I probably had some close calls but they all worked out for me. Tell me your best broken window story.


123 thoughts on “#412 – Jawbreaker”

  1. Dragryphon says:

    Heh, sounds like something I would do while eating a huge gobstopper!

  2. Emily says:

    I once broke a window with a frozen pizza. I was having a bit of a tantrum.

  3. Fire Poi says:

    I used to play golf in the back yard of my house. I was using the pitching wedge and hitting it back towards the garage so i could try to get it in the bucket this time. Now anyone who has even swung a golf club knows that sweet sound of hitting the ball perfectly, that solid thwack. Thats what I heard, and was so over joyed i failed to remember the 2 4’x4′ panels of glass that were at the back of the garage.
    With a tinkling that made my soul shudder i realized what i did to the right hand one.
    I took the other one out a few months later with a soccer ball from the inside of the garage.
    Lol they have been replaced by good old Plexiglas.
    Man I hate single pane glass.

  4. Gene says:

    I’ve only had one incident of breaking a window. That was a window in a door, like a six, or nine panel window. I was doing… something, I don’t know… But, I pretty much tried to open it the wrong way, and not with the wooden part, no. I put my hand on the window, and pushed with that. Needless to say, I broke the pane, although, surprisingly, I didn’t get any cuts or anything, and my dad manage to put a new piece of glass in. It was strange… and I felt kinda dumb for doing it, but, oh well… we all do strange things as children.

  5. Nikki says:

    When I was about 13, me and a friend were playing in his front yard. He had gone in his dad’s garage and found what I believe were large metal files. So we were taking turns throwing it into the grass trying to make it stick standing up. At one point he threw a little high and hard and it flew through his living room window. His parents were oddly forgiving, though I think that was because he was so scared he ran away for a few hours.

  6. Oregonian says:

    I once broke a window while wearing clogs and showing off the new karate kick i had learned and the clog went flying.

  7. rozencrantz says:

    I remember watching my dad patch some windows (he studied glazing for a while) but I don’t think I was responsible for any of them. My favorite though was when my mom was complaining about a bent corner of the trunk lid of her car. She couldn’t bend it down by hand, so my dad took a hammer to it.

    There’s something exciting about the way tempered glass breaks all at once. The tiny fragments have such complex shapes that they hold together in places. One spot of the window had caved in, but the rest of it was still in place, if shattered.

  8. PsychoDuck says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever broken a window… Lots of pummeled dry wall, though 😀

    The Duck Has Spoken.

  9. Ben says:

    a game I played when I was little was to throw rocks over the family aerostar van. at one point, I didn’t quite throw it high enough…

    let’s just say I never played that game again.

  10. Never broken a window in my life.

    However, I have been caught playing with my toys at night and was forced back to bed…

  11. SEA says:

    Breaking windows? Don’t think so ^_^

  12. Jason says:

    I was playing a game at a camp, involving sticking clothes pins on one another. The friend I was chasing ducked, my left hand landed on the wall, and the right hand landed on the very heavy curtain covering the giant window behind it. There were no holes in the curtain or anything, but I still managed to leave a funny shaped scare on my wrist, 9 stitches. People see it and ask me if I tried to kill myself.

  13. Miel says:

    My uncle once made me a very nice slingshot. I used dry mud instead of stones as safety precaution. I still managed to get the big window in the kitchen door broken. It was a very good slingshot. Sadly I never saw it again.

  14. Saydi says:

    back when i was about 9 years old i was playing with one of those giant rubber balls… you know the ones that you could wrap your arms around and your fingers would barely touch… anyway.. i was bouncing it back and forth between a friend and i and i tried to do a “trick bounce” which didnt really work and i some how broke my neighbors bedroom window with the almost-weightless ball

  15. Will says:

    I can think of only two incidents off the top of my head that i was directly responsible for.

    The first was when i was four, and went head first through the lower window next to our house at the time’s front door. I can’t remember why, but it was probably some stupid reason, given my age.

    The other was when i was fifteen and, like fire poi, was playing golf in the back yard with my friend. Unfortunately, said yard was oddly shaped and the space we were teeing off from was only about five or six metres wide, but a good thirty five metres long. The shot, instead of going straight to the end of the yard, veered off and broke the outer window of the bathroom.

    Ah the carefree days of innocent vandalism…

  16. Plasma says:

    A number of years ago, my best friend threw a regular, old-fashioned snowball at a sort of column supporting the front porch of my house. He missed the column and hit a window, which shattered. Only the storm glass, though, the inner glass survived.

  17. Maximillion says:

    The only time I ever broke a window was when I was going to elementary school, and I was having a snowball fight with one of my friends, and one of the snowballs I threw hit an icicle into a window that it was in front of; breaking it. It scared both of us, and we just ran away, since it was a window to our school, and when you’re that young, school just wasn’t something you liked enough to confess a crime as silly as that one. Although, I still feel a bit bad about it.

  18. Envious Luna says:

    Last summer in London, we didn’t have air conditioning in our hotel room because we didn’t need it. So I left the old-fashioned windows (you know, the kind where the frame is on hinges, so the actual window part swings like a door) open all the time. Well, one night, there was a lot of wind, and my window smacked into the wall and shattered. Somehow the curtain was still over it, so glass didn’t get everywhere. I didn’t even wake up.

    It’s a really, really good thing the curtain was there, or shards of glass would have gone all over me. My bed was right under the window.

  19. Nicholas says:

    Never broken a window, but I did break a glass table y flopping into the sofa opposite and bringing my feet down on it too fast…

  20. fishmeester says:

    I haven’t broken any windows either. I did though have one occasion where the glass should I have broken? Me and a friend were playing football (soccer) out on the street in front of his house and I kicked the ball hard and in the wrong direction and it flew into this enormous window in the house opposite to his, dead center.
    Miraclously it just made a weird sound and started pulsating without breaking.

  21. Cooljoesmith says:

    I punched holes in the wall for fun… then they medicaded me… im better now

  22. Dave D says:

    Never broken a window in my life – but something surreal (Biff-worthy) that happened once:

    We used to have a sailboat and one year as my dad and I were putting it into a (large) storage unit for the winter, we were preparing to weigh down the hitch so the trailer would stay put. Dad had just put the first cinder block on the hitch when it rose a few inches and tipped the block off. The block landed SQUARELY on my FOOT and THE BLOCK BROKE!

    My dad was scared that my foot may have been broken but it hurt no more than if someone walked on my toes or dropping a book on my foot. Sure, it was something to grumble about for a few seconds, but that was it. We managed to get a couple other blocks onto the trailer hitch and headed home.

  23. ben says:

    I was farted out of a cannon and broke a window. My body was full of glass and blood after that.

    Just kidding, I died.

    Not true

    I never broke a window in my life. 🙂

  24. Gobbledegook says:

    I’ve broken about three windows in my life… I’m really clumsy.

    My most spectacular one was when a candle in my room accidentally set my bamboo pencil box on fire when I was 14. It was burning too fast to get to the bathroom tub, so I tried to throw it through my window and into the snow outside. I couldn’t open the window with only one hand and I was home alone. When my hand started to burn, I just chucked it through as hard as I could. I was grounded for a month, had to pay for the new window, wasn’t allowed to have candles in my room anymore, and got a nasty scar from it.

  25. Tuesday says:

    As a kid, I once got so mad at my brother that I stormed off onto the porch, and when he put his face up to the door, I punched through the glass window on it. I got grounded for a day, but not a single cut on my hand.

  26. JoJoBees says:

    Uh so my dad sister and I were playing in our driveway with a plastic hollow bat and whiffleballs…somehow I managed to drive that whiffle ball into my dad’s bedroom window. He pretty much laughed it off. I don’t believe he’s fixed it yet..

    Then a crazy girl threw a brick through my window once. That was annoying.

  27. Fop says:

    my mother’s house has a bay window, with what I can only describe as a kind of built-in bench.

    Everybody was out one day, but we had left Walter the Dog alone. Birds, most commonly ravens,are prone to landing on the porch just outside that window, and at the time Walter was a dog with alot of energy, and deep seated psychological issues, which resulted, occasionally, in undirected rage (though he was, and is, perfectly safe with people).

    Long story short, when we got home, the was a Walter shaped hole in the inner pane of glass.

  28. Josher says:

    One summer I volunteered to help the custodian/janitor at a church. He used a weed whacker to trim the grass that grew right next to the wall, where the riding mower couldn’t get close enough. A couple times a rock flew from the weedwhacker and broke the glass doors of the min entrance. The pastor asked him to use grass killer from then on.

  29. Laje Kahr says:

    My brother and I slept in bunk beds as kids. I was on top. We kept rearranging our bedroom (well, I kept re-arranging it, I don’t really know if he was a willing participant) and this time the bed ended up next to the window. Well, I ended up having a nightmare and punched out the window. According to my brother, he woke with fractions of a second to dodge out the way of falling glass shards.

  30. Sam says:

    I didn’t break the window but I was involved. My dad and I were in our driveway playing roller hockey, I was the goalie. He took a slapshot from way out. The ball disappeared and as we searched in the bushes, then my mom held it up from the dining room and said “looking for this?” The ball had made a perfectly round hole in the window, and didn’t shatter it or anything. It didn’t make a sound on impact either. He claims I should have stopped it but I say it was way off target and there was no way.

  31. Iron Lich says:

    Back in the old private decrepit school we, on occasion, passed time by breaking windows with our fists. We were totally radical!

    No, not really…we were little s**ts.

  32. Seraphine says:

    I’m not admitting anything.
    I’m the original statue
    of limitations.

  33. Hanii Puppy says:

    someone knocks on the door. i have a hyper dog. i have a glass door. Guess.

  34. steam punk says:

    I’m not a window breaker, but I’ve witnessed it a thousand times. I have, however, broken a TV in my art class once.

    My school was so poor that we used the old autobody room as an art room. There used to be a wall separating a bit of the classroom but it was taken down leaving a crack in the ground. So my teacher asked me to wheel the TV from that area, into the main area of the “art room” and I did so… almost. By the time I got to the crack, which I didn’t notice was there until then, the TV had suddenly halted, but I continued to push. The whole AV Cart tipped and crashed to the ground and there was a giant spark. It was cool in a not-so-cool kind of way.

  35. Yet Another Chris says:

    I think I have the winner.
    When I was a kid, my older (but certainly not wiser) brother got the brilliant idea to craft himself a newspaper groin-cup. He stuck his thick newspaper creation down the front of his pants and told me to punch him. Me, being young and impressionable… I did as he asked. He stumbled backward (Guess newspaper isn’t too good for making any sort of protective wear) and fell against a window. Now, the window didn’t break outright, it just sort of cracked. When he moved off the window, there was a suspiciously ass-shaped crack (Big circle with a crack down the middle) in the window.

  36. Saideki says:

    When I was 7 or so my older brother, by three years, and I were rough housing. Pretty much he would toss me around like a rag doll whenever he could get his hands on me. One time I ran at him and he tried a shoulder toss that sent me out my living room window onto the front porch. So actually he broke the window, or did I technically? Either way hard to explain to your grandmother when you have to ring the door bell for somebody to unlock the door to let you back into the house.

  37. Kaikuro says:

    Never happened to me but I have two stories.

    My friend was playing frizbee outside. He missed his friend and it crashed into the window. For some reason he decided to start whistling. He walked inside casually, whisling as he got a broom and dustpan and swept up the glass, acting as casual as possible. No one freaked out at all.
    Then there was someone who tried to get a wasp with a rolled up paper, and they hit the window that it landed on so hard that it completely shattered. :/

  38. James says:

    I was mowing my back yard when I hit a rock. It shot out of the bottom of the mower and went right through my sliding glass door, scaring my mom who thought it was a gunshot. The door was made of safety glass, so it shattered into thousands of pieces that all stayed in the shape of a door, with little bits falling off now and then. We never did find the rock.

  39. Ceasemar says:

    There was one time as a kid I tried to pop a balloon by dropping a big rock on it. That didn’t quite do it, so I threw the rock down on it. The balloon not only didn’t pop, but it also launched the rock over my bed and into my bedroom window.
    I had a piece of plywood for a window for awhile after that……

  40. Plankster says:

    When I was about ten, I had a small metal replica of a Civil War musket. My Dad came into my room and I pointed it at him. Being in a playful mood, he hit it with the rolled up newspaper he’d been carrying. It flew through the window, and I didn’t find it until about a month later.

  41. Game Boy. Advanced? says:

    I had a slingshot. That alone should tell all, but people want details, so: my parents had a LONG gravel driveway. I was using the gravel as ammo and just shooting them toward the street. During one of my ammo collection periods, the neighbor across the street came home and parked their van directly across the street from our driveway. I was bumbed, because it was right in my line of fire. I turned to one side, our house. I turned to the other side, another neighbor’s house. I turned around, my dad’s car. I figured, oh well, only up and down left, and up might come back on me. So I shot down. And that is when I learned that rocks CAN bounce. Very high. Right through the window of the van across the street.

    I got my slingshot taken away.

  42. Game Boy. Advanced? says:

    Story # 2:

    I came home from the library one day, knowing that my dad was at work and my mom was out shopping. Mom had said she would leave the back door unlocked for me, since I didn’t have a key. Well, I checked the front door, because it was the first one I passed. I was locked. Meh, I figured it would be. I continued around the the laundry room door on the side of the house. It was locked. But then again, it was always locked. I went around to the back door, which had a very large window in it. IT was locked too.
    For some reason, I got very upset and went to bang lightly on the door. Apparently, it wasn’t lightly…and it was on the window. My hand went through the window and I freaked out. Had I not yanked my hand out of the window, I would have had a few cuts on the side of my hand. As it was, I ripped my arm open on a shard that was still sticking up out of the frame.

    I ran across the street, seeing neighbors milling around their back yard, and asked them to call an ambulance. They did, because they were very nice, and they didn’t want me bleeding all over their yard. For some reason, the ambulance was accompanied by a fire truck and a cop car. As the paramedic was wrapping my arm, both my mom and my dad, in seperate cars, pulled up to the house at the same time. They were looking at all the emergency vehicles parked out in front of the house and seemed to be curious. That is, until my brother, who was getting out of my mom’s car, looked over and saw me. I waved to him, he waved back, then told my parents it was me. They looked at each other, then, even though I couldn’t hear them, I knew they were asking each other who was going to take me to the hospital.

    I was a very accident prone child

  43. AG says:

    A couple years ago I used to play Airsoft really heavily. Since we lived in Detroit, the group I played with got permission from Ford to use one of their old disused warehouses to play in. One time while we were in between games I was screwing around with another guy showing off and practicing martial arts moves. He wanted to show one that involved flipping me over his back. So we got into position and started to show off the move. The only problem was that neither of us thought to check that the area we were showing off in was big enough and when he threw me I ended up falling backwards into a rack of old car windshields. I broke through all of them and landed flat on my back in the glass. When they picked me up we found out the only thing that stopped a large piece of the glass from punturing my upper back was that it got stuck in my armor vest and twisted away from my body.

  44. Yakboy says:

    I used to have a glass-topped coffee table. I stepped on it dead center. SMASH!

    Also smashed a wall twice: Once while demonstrating the weapon-like properties of a high-heeled shoe, Once by throwing a chair at it.

  45. Kyle says:

    I broke the sunroof of my step-mothers Volvo. We were going down the street, my step-mother driving, myself in the passenger seat, and my sisters in the back. Well my step-mom told one of my sisters to stand through the open sunroof while we were driving down the street, and once she did this I thought it would be funny to close the sunroof on her. Well once the sunroof hit her legs she immediately tried to get back in the car, sitting on the sunroof, making it shatter. We waited a couple of days to tell my dad.

  46. the Scarf says:

    I don’t THINK I’ve ever broken a window, but I used to have a rather bad curse on me. EVERY Christmas, thanksgiving, new years, large gathering of ANY SORT, I would break a wine glass. It was always completely by accident, but it got to such a point that I would burst into tears when it happened…
    It was funny though, when something across the room broke and my immediate reaction was to tense up, apologize, then realize it wasn’t me and deny everything…

  47. Reg says:

    Wow, there are a lot of stories here!
    My only broken glass story is watching that episode of Mythbusters when they tested to see if a person could smash through a window…

  48. OrangeWaffle89 says:

    I really enjoy archery. When I was about fourteen I somehow managed to shoot a bow through our kitchen window….My first thought was if I had hurt anyone. After figuring out I hadn’t, I had to think of a way to hide the evidence. I ended up making the whole in the wire bigger to make it look like it was a baseball that had smashed the window instead (even though all the glass was shattered). I still go in trouble, but much less since they didn’t know it was something a lot more dangerous that had actually broken the window!

  49. Lisa says:

    I didn’t break the window but I damaged my dignity pretty badly when I walked into a glass door three mornings in a row. 🙂

  50. Skygodess says:

    My son, M, was about 18 months, I was at a job interview and his dad, T, was watching him in the car. T let M out of his car seat because he knew interviews could take a while. M had his hands on the passenger-side dash while bouncing on the seat. (This was early 1990’s and we had a little Nissan Sentra.) Well, as you know little ones can get a bit over zealous… It wasn’t long before T heard a crack. He looked over & M said “I bonk!” His head was fine, not a mark on him.

    What are the odds that an 18month old would headbutt the most vulnerable spot in a windshield & actually break the window????

    Now, we have to worry about him “bonking” other cars… East SFBay folks be on alert for a male teen on the roads 🙂

  51. MOD says:

    there was a sheet of glass in my bedroom window as a child that wasnt exactly secure. it has duct-tape around the edge to hold it in place because it was too loose. i was tidying my room (under watchful eye of mother) and i tripped over a bag carelessy and my hand slammed into the glass, pushing it out of place. it fell, straight down. onto the hood of the family car. our driveway was pretty much a deathtrap of glass when we went to clear up the mess

  52. Reynard says:

    When I was about 10, my sister and I used to be dropped off at a sitter each morning so that our mom could head off to work. As was my habit, I knocked on the glass of her door — with the heel of my hand, instead of my knuckles. (I had a pretty weak knock back then and it had to be heard down a long hall.) Needless to say, she was none too happy to discover the broken window when she came to answer her door. (Needless to say, it came as something of a shock to me too! Luckily, I wasn’t injured…) Fortunately, IIRC it was paid for by the sitter’s insurance company.

  53. PlutoBum says:

    the only time i ever broke anything related to a window was while playing soccer with my dad…..and i only ever broke the screen. our windows are pretty thick, so they won’t break easily

  54. Person says:

    I was very little, and I was chasing my big brother across the living room, God knows what for. We had this very pretty glass coffee table. Well, he ran around it, and being too young to get the complex concept of running around, ran right into it and smashed my face against the table. The whole thing shattered. The damage to my front teeth was terrible. Forever, my front six or so teeth were black in the front, dead. For the longest time, people thought I had braces until I lost all the dead teeth.

  55. Charlie! says:

    Ive got two corkers.

    1: Was playing with those fancy light swords based on those space movies (avoiding copyright like the plague there), and basicaly, did one of those paries, the hilts are dead solid, WHOOSH, out the window, with a realistic “zzzzhing” sound.


    2: Was waving a metal pole about…reason escapes me…slip out me hand, and went clean through, in a neat hole…then the window collapsed INWARDS. Like a fool, I put my hands out to catch it, but whipped em away with mongoose like reactions. Got a scare on my leg and everything.

    Peace to Biff. What candy was it?

  56. Kit-Kun says:

    I don’t reamember breaking a window. I have broken a glass. It slipped out of my hand and the glass fell into the remaining bit, the rest in big, easy to pick up, pieces. I thought my grandma, who I had been making a drink for, would be upset, but when I went out to tell her, she said it was alright. To this day, I’m still a little scared it’ll happen again…

  57. birdie says:

    i’ve broken two trays at work, as i work in a hotel kitchen. the first time, i was attempting to bus a tray. normally this isn’t difficult, but glasses are normally stored in racks stacked up near the dish washer. having a tray balanced next to my shoulder, i couldn’t see the short stack in front of me and fell flat on my face, tearing my leg open through my kitchen pants from ankle to knee, and breaking half the glasses. everyone clapped and helped clean up, because everyone has dropped a tray at some point.
    the second tray i was carrying out of the kitchen, a tray full of mousses, out to the dessert station. almost half of them didn’t make it out of the kitchen. i didn’t have to clean that mess up, fortunately because it was thanksgiving and the dessert station needed to be stocked. i refused to carry mousse trays for the rest of the day.
    [normally i’m very competent with carrying trays full of cakes, mousses, creme brulees and whatnot]

  58. birdie says:

    i remember a friend breaking a window at school with a frozen orange once…

  59. Jason says:

    When I was five or so I had a See ‘n Say. It was one of the old-style ones with the pull cord. Eventually I got tired of listening to barnyard animal noises and started inventing other uses for it. In the course of playing with it one day I managed to start swinging it by the cord over my head. I let go, and the toy flew through both panes of our 5′ by 6’ porch window.

  60. Deanethiro says:

    I went to knock on my freinds door but they said they would be alseep in thier room. So I went and knocked on thier window to wake them up. Little did I know that was brittle glass and it breaks right through when I knock on it.

  61. Foxfire says:

    mm, not my story exactly (as to say, I wasn’t the culprit), but sitting at home one day with my parents, and someone knocks on the door. We open it up, and it’s a kid with blood all over his arms, and he cut himself preaty bad. Well, when we finally found out what had happened, I hand to stop myself from laughing a bit. Wherever he’d lived before, all the windows opened up. Here, all the windows on the houses slide left or right. Turns out he locked himself out, and tried to push the window up, and it shattered when he pushed to hard. Maybe I’m a little evil at thinking it was humorus, but I always thought it was preaty obvious if a window opened up or side to side.

  62. bizzybody says:

    Rent “The Astronaut Farmer” DVD and watch the bloopers. There’s a scene where Farmer throws a brick through the bank window. The movie company got permission from the bank where the bank scenes were filmed to do this.

    Unfortunately the window was bullet-resistant and the brick just bounced off it like a rubber ball. They had to replace the window with ordinary glass, throw the brick through, then put the original glass back.

  63. ale says:

    I don’t recall ever breaking a window, but I once threw a tennis ball at a window and it bounced right back at me. It left a bruise on my chin.
    The window was fine.

  64. I never broke a window but I kind of annoyed my younger brother to the point that he punched the window and it shattered.

  65. nanxi says:

    I have never reduced any window to bits, but I have kicked a hole in one of my bedroom walls just about one or two months ago. Never knew walls were so fragile. My dad gave me a verbal beating for that (that’s usually how Asian parents beat their kids).

  66. Elkian says:

    Been there, done that.
    What’s worse than sneezing with a mouth full of food?
    Sneezing with a mouth full of hard and/or sharp food.

  67. Elkian says:

    Which is less than…
    Sneezing while cough/chok/laugh/burp/hiccuping.
    less than
    Sneezing while doing multiples of the above.
    Less than
    Sneezing after coughing yourself painfully hoarse ALL FREAKING DAY. (been there, done that. I STILL hurt, and that was months ago)
    less than
    Sneezing while vomiting.

  68. Synchro593 says:

    Nope, never broke a window or walling. I guess I must be boring. 😀

  69. unknowledge says:

    I’ve only ever broken one window. My science class got to make catapults and we got to fire them off at school to see who had the best design, unfortunately it turns out I did… I launched a golf ball through the principals window breaking it, and accidentally smashing his favorite coffee mug X_X

  70. Joe says:

    I played alot of street hockey as a kid…i lived on a quiet side street so we were always playing…i think i must have broken at least 5 or six windows .

  71. Z says:

    I once broke a window by making a rude facial expression (probably the classic raspberry + hands waggling beside ears; I forget).

    Of course, if I just left it there, that would completely gloss over the part about the kid BEHIND the window who took exception at the rude expression and put his fist through the glass. I’m not sure why either of us did what we did, as I was in timeout and he wasn’t (and therefore was in no position to mock him) and we were at least six feet apart, with no hope in hell of his fist hitting my face.

    I distinctly remember all us bigger kids having to be very, very quiet in that room when the younger kids were napping because (for reasons already covered) the damn door had no window pane.


  72. Raven says:

    I used to live in a place in Connecticut where, in our condo area, the driveway was a rather steep hill. The hill branched off into parking lots on two sides, and the last was at the bottom of the hill. My friends and I would set up a wooden jump and ride our bikes as fast as we could down the hill, off the jump, and skid to a stop just in front of the garages at the bottom.

    Now, I, being the bright young man I was at the time, thought I could get more air if I went down another hill above ours, first.

    I got so much air, my bike slammed into the garage door. I myself kept going – through the window, onto my neighbor’s car roof. I clambered back out, cutting myself rather badly in the process, and gave everyone a thumbs-up before trying to de-taco-ify my front wheel.

  73. Tyris says:

    These hands never actually broke a window, but the Matriarch once threw a chair through the glass-paned back door in a fit of rage. Boy, was that ever expensive…
    That same door was also used to slice off the tip of little brother’s finger (yeah, that one was these hands. Um… oops?) An important lesson was learned that day: always look behind you before you shut the door.

  74. WindWarrior says:

    I am a clam farmer, and when we get clams ready to be delivered we have to pick through them and pick out any cracked or empty shells. On one fateful day we were picking through a couple hundred for a customer, and we found only one cracked clam. We usually dump any cracked ones in the woods for the racoons to eat, but since we had only one, I thought I could throw the clam 30 yards to the edge of the woods. I threw it in the most retarded way possible, and it went straight up into the air, and the wind pushed it to the field in front of our house…with my brothers buick parked in the middle. MY thoughts turned from curiousity to pure horror as the clam smashed through the back windshield barely missing the edge, cuasing the whole thing to crackle like popcorn and slowly fall into the back leather seats. Luckily only $360 went missing from my pocket to pay for the reapairs and the backs seats were only lightly scratched in a few places.

  75. Kat says:

    best broken window story? that’s easy. i was laying in my bed reading. the heat was up too high in the house so i had my bare feet presed against the glass of the window above my bed. i figured out that if i pushed on it a little some of the cold air could get in. i ended up pushing too hard and ended up putting my feet straight through the window. that was a fun one to explain to my parents. atleast i didn’t actually hurt myself.

  76. Pyrratus says:

    I was playing football or “soccer” one with my dad and he kicked the ball right through my neighbours window and then told them that I did it. D:

  77. etherscythe says:

    My sister and I were left to our own devices a little bit too long in the family van one day. I managed to annoy her, and as on-edge as she was, when I put my knee into the back of her chair (she was sitting in the front passenger seat), she kicked the windshield reflexively.

    Apparently the heel hit first/hardest, as there was an almost 2-inch diameter circle in which the glass virtually pulverized, with almost no cracking anywhere else. It looked like a large cut branch had struck the windshield trying to impale someone.

  78. Craig says:

    I was about five, and playing in my backyard, as it was summer and it was the only place I was allowed to be alone outside of my house. I don’t remember much, but I do remember finding a thick stick, just light enough for me to pick up. I thought it would be fun to spin around with it in my hands so it would lift up without me using any of the strength in my arms. Unfortunately, this lack of holding onto the stick caused it to fly out of my arms and put a giant crack into my kitchen window.

  79. Guar says:

    I had this one really beaten up and broken down garage in the back of my house and it had one of those windows that has 6 seperate pains of glass in it, one of the pains was busted out, my friend and I where chucking sthings through it… I grabed a rock that was clearly too big for it but I was young and dumb, so I hurl with all my might, I take out 4 of the 5 remaining pains and that one fell out shourtly after. I went inside and said to my dad “Dad, remember that window that USED to be in the garage?” he laughed and said he couldn’t get mad at me because a nearly Identical situation happened to him when he was a kid, he used the same exact line too. he was chucking a baseball thoguh

  80. Feebly! says:

    Nma. I almost broke a window with a stuffed lion. We put him on those fan/light combo dealies. Put him on one of the blades and turned it on. Poor lion swung full force into a window. I think we did it again and knocked a mug off of a counter. Go lion, go!

  81. Joey B says:

    When I was 11, I think, my sister and had rollerblades but we really didn’t use them much, just in the garage. I remember that we had a whole six-weeks session on kickball in PE, and I decided to make a twist to the game at home: instead of kicking the ball, we’d play baseball, but on rollerblades. Of course, we were in the garage so we played with a bunch of old socks rolled up together as a mini-ball. But we did play with a bat, and although “home base” was far from the garage-door windows, for some reason, when my parents were out and my sister and I were playing, I “ran” to first base with the bat in my hands and somehow I cracked the window (I think I used it as a brake). My father got mad for a while, but it just cracked and you really couldn’t see it anyway.

  82. Jacob Kavanagh says:

    Yeah, so I saw a bee on my window, I don’t like bees so I punched it and the window behind it as well. Both the bee and the window died.

  83. Vickster says:

    The only window I ever broke was at my dads, and it wasn’t particularly spectacular. I threw a golf ball downstairs in the middle of a tantrum, and it bounced off the window, shattering one of the panes at the bottom.

  84. Marlon says:

    I’ve never broken a window but I have a friend that broke his window trying to squash a fly with a mallet -_-

  85. Naffi says:

    No candy, baseballs, footballs or any other balls broke any windows
    but a carrot did, thats right a CARROT

  86. Hagen says:

    We always had sliding glass doors (two different houses), I am the only one in my family who has not broken one by trying to walk through them. I have walked into them but never through them.

  87. Katie says:

    I didn’t get a broken window story till I was an adult, oddly enough. I was taking a shower in my fiance’s house (now my husband’s) and the sliding panel of glass in the window in the shower stall fell down… on top of my head, shattering, sending glass everywhere and putting a lovely lump on my forhead.

  88. Andy Tuba says:

    A few months back, we were transporting a canoe across town from one back yard to another. No bungie cords in my minivan, so we decided to just pop the back door, the one that opens up, and shove it in between the driver’s and passenger’s seats.

    We were very careful closing the back door that we didn’t break the rear window.

    Forgot about the front window. Didn’t realize till the next morning.

    Now there were spiderwebs in the canoe — and out the front window!

  89. Kronos says:

    I was practicing my bow and arrow skills. I had a few arrows, my dad’s bow, and a cardboard box with a bullseye drawn on it. I also had the bright idea to do it INSIDE my house- we have long hallways. So im shooting at this box, which is right below one of our front windows, and of course i slip up and shoot it out. My friend is there and we do damage control, cleaning up the glass and thinking of the next move. Suddenly it hits me: the hole is the perfect size for a baseball. So, i call my mom, tell her me and my friend were playing catch and i threw a baseball through the window (from outside). I got in no trouble. Hooray, devious 11-year-old mind

  90. heinleinfan says:

    I was a very sound sleeper as a child, and for a while my bedroom configuration had my bed right next to my windows.
    One night I rolled over in my sleep and kicked my foot right through a window pane, which didn’t wake me up…my mom woke me up by shaking me, and trying to carefully extract my foot out of the window while I was half asleep, while my stepfather looked on, still holding his pistol that he’d grabbed when he heard the glass breaking and came running to investigate…

  91. The Dustin says:

    uh…. I was attacked by a door with glass in it…
    I had come home from school and upon reaching my front door I realized I’d forgotten my house keys, now it being a cold day with strong wind, I sought to shelter myself from the cold by standing between the locked door, and the screen door(in summer we put in the screens but in other seasons it has glass toy help keep the cold out). A strong gust of wind pulled the glass door away from me, I reached out my hand to catch it when the wind suddenly blew it in the opposite direction, and breaking on pane over my hand…
    My neighbors got a wonderful surprise by someone ringing their doorbell and finding me standing there holding my badly bleeding left hand… I still have the scar along the knuckle of my ring finger. The sound of breaking glass is the one sound I can’t stand, and I absently run a finger along the scar whenever I hear it…

  92. AdmiralChaos says:

    i got locked inside a racquetball court at the YMCA once by some of the local jerks from the middle school. the windows appeared to be the kind of wire-reinforced bulletproof glass you see on TV, but a single thwack with my racket and i sent a long crack from corner to corner.

    i landed up working at the desk of the YMCA for the rest of the 7th grade to make up for it.

  93. Pom Rania says:

    I don’t remember breaking any windows; but this one time my door was jammed and I had to get out the window to get out of my (ground floor) room. Thing is, I hesitated for a second and got too scared to jump. I ended up stuck on the windowsill — barefoot and cold but afraid to move — for the better part of an hour before I got my mother’s attention and she called the neighbour to bring a ladder and get me down. Just like a cat stuck up a tree.

  94. Brown Recluse says:

    Never broke a window before.
    I recently put a hole in my bathroom door though (not all the way thru. just on one side of it. Its one of those cheap campus apartment doors).
    My cat threw up at the top of the stairs and got away before I could grab her. I wanted to hit something, so I hit my door.
    My landlord isnt gonna be too happy about that…

  95. Djorra says:

    I’ve broken a few things in my time.

    The latest was a glass door. I held a staple gun up against the glass (why?) and fired it. Weren’t any staples in it, but just the metal hitting the glass made a big crack and then it started to crack. In the end, it looked like a big stained-glass window without the stain. The sunset hitting the door looked cool in a not-so-cool sort of way. BTW, there were two panes of safety glass in, so I still have that door, but I had to take every single little shard of glass out, piecemeal.

    I have broken about two sets of glassware (not including wineglasses) and am working on my third. Also have broken many, many bowls and plates, and a few casserole dishes. I have broken a PlayStation 1, a Super Nintendo, not one but two DS’s, and a GameBoy. Oh, and I accidentally snapped off a handle on a car door .


  96. LadyLuck1337 says:

    My mother locked us out of the house when I was about 7. She tried everything. Credit card in the lock, borrowed butter knife and a few other things I don’t remember. Eventually my mother, my dear sweet mother, utter 3 or 4 curse words and threw a brick into the laundry room window. It took me about 10 years before I realized that a locksmith would have been the better route. When I told her that she said that she had realized it the second she let the brick fly.

  97. jeph says:

    My cousin punched a hole in a window. just because she felt like it. the Schools Principle wasn’t amused

  98. biggo says:

    I’m a Mac person so, yes, Windows break on me all the time.
    Boom boom tsch!

  99. Ian says:

    Well..I was playing hockey on my driveway…did a slap shot…the ball went towards the grage and the Van’s rear view window shadders beside me. Now I’m pretty much assuming a small rock flew off the driveway, becsaue I see no other way for the window to have smashed.

    Oh by the way Biff rocks!

  100. Signum says:

    This never happened to me, but my friend and I were helping out at a day camp, towards the end of the day, he leans back on one of the several foot high windows(just LEANS on it), and the freaking thing shatters and he almost fell through. Strangely, he never got hurt.

  101. Blood Assassin says:

    last week while i was playing football (we play in between 2 empty houses) and i caught a pass and was tackled into a window cut my arm up bad but i was laughing it off…i seem to have a huge tolerance to pain

  102. The ill mannered M says:

    Hmm, broken window? Well, I can honestly say I have busted my bedroom window with my butt. Me and a friend were playing a game called ‘kabush-bomb’ – I honestly have no idea how you spell it. What you do is fold your arms in front of you al la Barbara Eden from IDJ, yell “Kabush-bomb” and run into your friend.
    It should be noted that this is even more fun to play on a springy bed. The downside is trying to come up with an explanation for your parents that won’t get you in trouble. Here’s a tip, the selective truth works well; “Me’n Ashly were playin’ fashion show, Daddy, and I slipped on the catwalk and hit the window.”

  103. Vera12 says:

    My sister once broke my dad’s truck windshield with a frozen turkey by tossing it onto the dashboard. The only good thing about it was the glass only cracked on the passenger’s side so I could still see to drive the truck home. She spent the whole ride home crying and desperately trying to think of an excuse to tell my parents so she wouldn’t get into trouble. She didn’t get into trouble, but only because she was crying so hard she couldn’t even explain the situation.

  104. Cari says:

    Mine wasn’t a broken window, just a pushed in screen.

    One night when I was in high school, the alarm went off sometime in the middle of the night. We found the front window screen had been pushed in. Of course, we thought it was a burglar. However, as my parents went to call the police, I watched as our outside cat, Oreo, was chased back out the window by our very angry indoor cat, Tigger. It turns out the cats were fighting through the window, and Oreo had pushed the screen in to get at Tigger.

  105. Cari says:

    Oh, yeah, our other broken window story. My family has a thing about windows and animals…

    About ten years ago, I was riding in my parents’ minivan, directly behind the front passenger seat. We were returning home one night, up a narrow, winding canyon road (Big Thompson, for you CO Front Range people) in a huge downpour. Very treacherous, but by the time we got to the top, the rain had cleared up, and we were almost home without any incidents. All of a sudden, there was a huge crash on the front passenger side, then what felt like the side of the van was moving along the rock wall beside the road.

    My dad saw a flash of hoof, my mom saw the windshield break (but not shatter), and I saw the side window cave in on me. An elk had jumped off the rock ledge just as we drove past it, hit the windshield, and rolled along the side of the van. It ran into the woods and disappeared, and I ended up in the ER to have glass shards flushed out of my eyes. Fortunately, they were not embedded. We don’t know what happened to the elk.

  106. nipple ninja says:

    one time when i was around 9 i got so angry at my sister that i punched a double paned window at my grandma’s house. its still broken.

    i was golfing a few years ago in my backyard, practicing my drive, and i drove one almost 230yds into my superintendents bedroom window. i hauled my clubs back into my house before he came outside and i never got caught XD

  107. superninja says:

    Not a window story, but a friend of a friend has a hole in the wall of his apartment where he fell through it while drunk. XD

  108. Tomato3456 says:

    I’m only 14, so I only have one window story so far. One of my two dogs loves chasing chew toys around. This particular chew toy was a pretty hard tennis ball, and I didn’t look where I was throwing it. The result – Our family was $100 poorer.

  109. Marr965 says:

    I was five, and I tripped over the edge of a carpet, and slammed forehead first into a marble table. I’ve still got the scar ten years later. The table was in pieces…

  110. Shana says:

    When I was little, my uncle stole all of the window-weights from the wall and used them for drug money. A wind storm blew by, and each and every window crashed onto the yard, on top of each other. It was hellish the weeks that followed…

  111. Fotiadis says:

    windows smindows, i’ve taken out only 1 by tripping in front of a glass pane door, it got massive cracks but held itself in place.

    What’s my most impressive destruction?
    I managed to go through the roof when I was about 10… I fell right into our spare bedroom.
    Needless to say it took a while for my dad to fix it <_<

  112. Elttaes says:

    I believe it was the summer after 6th grade. I was kind of a night owl and not a morning person, but my next door neighbor came over about 7am, banged on my window and asked if I wanted to come out and play. Still groggy from lack of sleep and realizing that if I got up to open the window, I’d be naked in front of my friend, I tried to open the window from the bed. I was reaching up at an awkward angle and pushing on the handle when my hand slipped. Went through the glass. Next thing I know I’m looking at a massive hole in my arm and I can see some of my insides. Then my folks are up and I’m going to the hospital. Severed lots of veins, nicked a nerve, and ended up with a very dangerous looking scar.

  113. edelstahl says:

    I had a bit of an anger problem as a kid. Once, when I was angry about something ( I don’t remember why ), I slammed the side of my hand into our kitchen picture window from outside. It broke, and I got deep cuts on my wrist, thumb, and pinky finger. Fortunately, I didn’t need stitches.

  114. Shadow says:

    You know I’ve never had a window broken or broken one myself, I have broken one of those tube light bulbs and a hairbrush but never a window.

  115. johnwolf says:

    i threw a pellow THROUGH a window. thats all i’ll say.

  116. lamycorie says:

    i was at a summercamp and we were a few girls sharing a room. i was bullied by them all the time and one time i got so mad that i took a Croquet mallet and started to threaten them with it… they ran out on the balcony of the room and closed the door… i stood there still threatening with the thing and then i decide to play a joke at them to see their reactions… i swung the mallet towards the window.. planning on stoping the thing just as it was about to hit… well i didn’t have enough time to… ended up being a big hole in the window shaped like an O
    same summer camp i was standing and hitting mosquitoes against a window with my fist and apparently the window glass was very thin… my fist went straight through the glass but didn’t get very damaged… later at that same camp i hear a guy breaking a third window… and that was the most windows that had been broken there in such a short time period ever xD

  117. Raven Gold says:

    You wouldn’t belive this. But that actualy happened to me. I was eating a hard candy, sneezed, and it went through the window. Admitedly the window allready had some major cracks in it. But when you suffer the hayfever of a thousand hayfever sufferers, sinuses can become balistic.

  118. Alakar Voidus says:

    Never broken a window, but at a friends house once i was getting a glass out for a drink of water, and i barely touched it and it exploded into glass DUST. No injuries.

  119. DrPluton says:

    I threw an empty can of “Snow Blizz” (a snow-like temporary paint) through a barn window at my friend’s house. We were trying to break the can on the steel side of the barn. Instead, I threw the can hard enough to bust the window (plastic sheeting over a screen, thankfully no glass). I was lucky not to have to pay for repairs, but my friend said he could repair it the next day in just a couple minutes.

  120. YukiSnowflake says:

    i’ve never broken a window in all 13 years of my existence, but I HAVE dented quite a lot of walls and doors.
    The strangest time would have to have been the time I threw my sisters hardback-book collection at the door…

  121. -2! says:

    Four words “I walked through it”

  122. kinkinkijkin says:

    I was 3, playing with cars in my haunted house. The window suddenly broke. THE END.

  123. Voyager says:

    I needed a piece of rock for class, and all I could find was concrete. However concrete has little rocks in it, so I figured if I could break it up, I could take those to class. Banging it on the concrete patio didn’t work, but then I had a brilliant idea, I would throw it at the patio, and that would eventually break it. Turns out, it bounces.

    It think that was the pane that got it twice too. See, after one of these broken window adventures, just after Dad had gotten done replacing the pane, I saw it, and promptly said “Oo, the window is fixed!” Push.

    Dad had just gotten done replacing it, as in, he had just finished spackling it in, and had leaned back to admire the work.

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