#235 – Pizza
Posted on April 30, 2007 at 12:00 am by Chris
Chapter: Comics
Hmm… I’m trying to think of some kitchen disaster anecdote to tell here. I think the only really famous kitchen story I have is when I was only a few years old my sister made brownies for girl scouts. They were left on top of the stove to cool. I was alone in the kitchen and decided to pull the tray onto the floor and help myself to big handfuls of fresh brownie. by the time they found me I had brownie all over my face and the whole tray was ruined.
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where’s he going to get enough toppings for that beast?
Ha! A reason I don’t cook! I just see a packet for mud cake in the shop, and I’m like, Hey sis! You feel like baking your favorite brother a cake? (I’m the favorite). I don’t get to eat cke often 🙁
I had a similar problem with a breadmaker and to much yeast. It sort of crept out the top of the bread maker like some kind of monster from a second rate b movie… “dawn of the bread” perhaps
Look out its a pizza flood!
when i was about 13 i almost burnt the house down doing popcorn…
eversince, my parents have bought the microwave bags of popcorn 😛
Gwen that reminds me of my father’s inability to use household appliances. The microwaves always burn what he puts in them. He tried making microwave popcorn in a brown paper bag, made it EXACTLY the same way my mother did. Filled the house with a noxious fume and made a black popcorn ball instead. We had one of those 4-slice toasters in our kitchen that he always threatened to disassemble and mail to various random addresses with a false return address so that the wretched thing couldn’t be reconstructed. It always scorched one side of his toast, yet left the other side untouched
were did hie get a spoon the size of a table,it must have come from Hawiia
he* hawaii*
oh yah yesterday i made the burstin burrito
mweeheeheeee…..
I remember exploding marshmallows in the microwave. They would expand to gargantuan size, then POP! They fun and chaos they caused was mathched only by exploding potatos. Of course, cleaning up sucked.
My brother managed to catch a chicken on fire in the microwave once. He was reheating leftovers from a restaurant and didn’t see a piece of aluminum foil that got stuck inside some cheese.
The blue sparks were pretty until the smoke started pouring out of the microwave.
You Can’t Say That on Television used the “table spoon” joke once. It’s one of the few sketches I can remember from the show (that one, and throwing apples at a doctor: ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away’). Great joke, 15 years ago, and today.
Now just imagine if it had called for two table spoons. And how big was that spoon and for that matter how big is Biff’s table and where he got that spoon.
(in adam west voice)HA,HA a table spoon the size of a tableHA,HA that’s rediculous.
that must of been a really big spoon:
Maybe he got a spoon made from this guy: http://weblog.greenpeace.org/paradiseforests/2006/05/the_biggest_spoon_in_the_world.html
Seriously, I want a knife from this guy. Anyone else?
funny, I thought Biff was capable of cooking. Oh well, least he won’t starve for awhile. And dough is fun to push around.
Not that I would know.
I have a great kitchen anecdote for you! When I was about 8 or so, I decided that it would be a really funny idea to put a rubber band around the nozzle for the sprayer next to the sink so that whoever turned the faucet on next would get a facefull of water. I watched my mom go to the sink and turn the water on, she screamed and jumped out of the way, forgetting to turn the water off. Water sprayed all over the kitchen. The floor, cabinets, the stove, appliances, nothing was spared. From that point on, our toaster shot toast out of it when it was done toasting it.
One question: Where does he keep all of this random, oversized junk? Spoons as big as tables, alogn with all the otehr random things he’s demonstrated over the years, his attic must be a mess. Or a quantum anomily.
This reminds me of the time I used five packs of yeast to make bread. In about 30 minutes the WHOLE ktchen cabinet was covered in bread dough. Not a very pleasant experience of cleaning dough from every single crack and crevice.
reminds me of whenever one of my friends forgets to add salt to the yeast, same thing happens from one package of yeast…yea that fridge needed alot of cleaning, i feel so sorry for my school janitors
Drunken Midnight Experimentation: the reason fried egg, jam and custard toasties exist.
XD
I always wondered why it was called the TABLE spoon if it wasn’t a table.
One time, I was cooking something, but the whole pan burst into flames. I mean tall as the ceiling, big-ass flames. I threw the pan in the sink and turned on the faucet, and it got bigger. My eyebrows have yet to grow back.
Oh my god, you have no idea how hard I just laughed.
my friend almost blew up his microwave/burnt down his house
word of advice grapes and microwaves dont mix
Hannasch2007, that was a greese fire,you have to throw baking soda on it
The more Pizza the better I say.
He wanted hot grapes?!! Or was he trying to make raisins?
PIZZA!!!
CANADIAN BACON
AND
CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!
66point6’s talk about marshmallows and potatoes reminds me of how my cousin’s science class did a whole bunch of experiments with stuff in the microwave. She told me about soap (tried it, goes all flaky), quartered grapes (plasma explosion), and CD’s (go all sparky).
They actually put CD’s in the microwave? Doesn’t this usually blow up? OH! Put a can in the microwave, it actually blows up VERY nicely!
Oh, and stickin’ to microwave and burning food, I actually managed to burn instant ramen style noodle the other day at work. GOD it stank. The problem? Forgot to put water in the bowl… Snuff happens.
PLASMA EXPLOSION?!?! I WANT TO SEE THAT!!!
I still remember that episode of Garfield and Friends where the house fills with yoghurt. Strangely enough, that looks more like yoghurt than pizza dough.
“Hurry! We’re being attacked by yoghurt! And it isn’t soft or frozen!”
mwehehehehe…..
hmmm, cooking catastrophies…. oh! I have a good one!
*ahem* Some years ago, my father decided to make home-brewed beer (speaking of yeast…) when time came to open the first bottle, we all gathered in the kitchen to see if it had worked. It worked all right. Ever mopped the ceiling? ^^
One Thanksgiving we were getting ready to go to the grandparents place for dinner. Mom had cooked a 20+ pound turkey and had it sitting on a tray in the wall oven with the door open.
We heard this *CRASH* and as we rushed to the kitchen our female siamese cat came running out the door.
This little 6 pound cat had jumped onto the still very warm oven door, grabbed the end of a turkey leg in her mouth and had attempted to haul it off to stash it away for eating. She’d yanked it out onto the oven door, fortunately not getting it tipped over or dumped onto the floor.
That cat always did her best to live up to her name, Mischief! Her favorite thing to do was tip over the kitchen trashcan and root through it even though there were always bowls of catfood and water.
where did he get a spoon that big?
He oviously keeps them in hammersp- oh wait. Um… Biffspace.
It took me a second to figure out what you were talking about in that blog thing there…. Here, we don’t have girl scouts. We have something similar called Brownies. Go figure.
I loves them brownies. The edible kind, not the girl scout kind… though… I guess those are techincally edible too, just frowned upon when they’re eaten… CHOCOLATE!!
The plastic food cover for the microwave has a popcorn bag pattern permanently stained in.
I sometimes forget to remove the little plastic bags on the popcorn…
My mom decided she was gonna make Caramel by superheating Condensed Milk. The method was to boil the tin in a cup of water on the stove.
The explosion was massive. It was very lucky that no one was in the kitchen at the time. The tin ended up on the fridge, the pot dented the extractor, the lid of the pot chipped the floor tiles, and we are still finding congealed, burnt patches of condensed milk all over the kitchen.
There is always a disaster in the kitchen when the recipe works in Fahrenheit. I keep cooking Shortbread at 300 degrees Celsius, instead of 140 degrees Fahrenheit.
hey arnold was the first thing to come to mind!
I once had to melt some chocolate for some cake or other, so I put it in the microwave. Unfortunately I put it on ten minutes, not seconds. There was smoke everywhere and the whole kitchen smelt of burnt chocolate for weeks afterwards.
Could this have been inspired by the hot day when pizza dough expanded on a truck and spilled out in globs for miles down Hwy. 29 in Wisconsin?
I forget when that happened.
He should wish he was in a sequel to Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.
Make covering that pizza behemoth a lot easier.
It’s not good to mess up your measurements like that…
Im thinking Biff needs those flaming hammers now.
I just started reading these (oh Lord!) an hour ago and I finally had to comment. This reminds me of one of my favorite poems as a kid– “A Pizza the Size of the Sun.” And MAN could I tell you all kinds of kitchen disasters. The first time I tried to do a stir fry solo I ended up with a massive oil fire in the skillet (which I instinctively ran outside with– that was fun) and charcoal instead rice in the microwave. The only good bit was that one of my friends turned out to be an expert at deactivating smoke alarms.
I once MELTED steak with the bbq. I didn’t think that was possible but there you go…
It is possible to burn ketchup.
I just thought you should know that.
Thanksgiving 2010, Mom had emergency surgery, which left me to cook Thanksgiving dinner. It turned out okay, apart from the fact I over boiled water and butter, which dribbled onto the burner underneath and burst into flames. I managed to put it out though.
I thought everything went well til she asked, ‘Where’re the gizzards and stuff so I can make gravy?’ I was like, ‘I don’t know… Where are they supposed to be? I took all the stuff out of the cavity.’ Turns out, they were in the neck, and I cooked the turkey with them still inside. Oops.
I offered to cook again last year, but she said no.