#205 – Vinyl

My first record player was a little portable red and white plastic machine. It had a microphone that plugged into it so that you could sing along. My favorite 45s were Elvis “Jailhouse Rock”, Steve Martin “King Tut” and C.W. McCall “Convoy.” They were from a stack of hand me down records from my older siblings. I loved putting my hand on the record as it played to make it slow down or speed up and sound funny.


47 thoughts on “#205 – Vinyl”

  1. ZYXWVUT says:

    Wow, I wonder what the song would sound like after the “adjustments”…

  2. Linkage says:

    I remember when the music compilation albums were sold on “two LPs or two cassettes” and I’m only 24. I actually remember seeing a CD for the first time and thinking “wow, rainbow colors”

  3. Corey says:

    And here I was about to buy all that digitizing equipment and spend hundreds of dollars. 🙂 Biff does it again.

  4. rick says:

    lol, did he do the same to his laser discs?

  5. Elli says:

    My jaw dropped upon seeing this one. Good work. XD

  6. dragonbrad says:

    I have done that once,except I was trying to make my lava lamp compatible with my computer, blu goo stings, great comic ( Howmany people have lava lamps?) :O

  7. geeklord says:

    Is it even possible to import songs from a vinyl record to your computer? (without using Biff’s method, of course) If so, please tell me.

    Live long and prosper,

    1. extremist343 says:

      I have seen devices that are specifically designed to do this but I don’t know how common they are.

  8. TjayBrandon says:

    Geeklord, does your vynil record player have a headphone jack on it? If so, there are wires that you can buy from most electronic stores that have a male plug on both sides. Connect one end to the headphone jack on your record player and the other side to the microphone jack on your computer. Just record and encode as you see fit. It may be a bit of a hassle this way, but it is certainly the cheapest.

  9. Magdalena says:

    Heh, I suppose Biff would’ve had a hard time snipping up the record, but an even harder time getting it to even play in the computer.

  10. Tinned Moron says:

    Biff is a misunderstood genius.

  11. kenshin620 says:

    ….so how old is Biff? I was just assuming he got out of college recently, but now that I see he has vinyl records…

  12. Corey says:

    Geeklord, the longer and more expensive way is to buy digitizing equipment, including all the software to edit out all the pops and cracks and stuff like that. It costs a lot more but it may be worth it if you or someone you know has a huge collection. Google it and I’m sure you’ll come up with something if you’re willing to pay the extra buck that is.

  13. Annette Lynn says:

    Wow. My very first piece of music was an eight track of Dolly Parton. Second was an ABBA eight track. I feel so damn old.

  14. FlynMan says:

    I am only 19 and i have a ton of records! I have always been a fan of old vinyl. I even managed to find a record player for free. Great comic

  15. LordRetard says:

    Records are better than CDs. I love analog sound, it’s so much better than digital; it’s “real”. Also, provided you take care of them, records can last for thousands of years, whereas the lifespan of a CD is about 50 years tops. Seriously. Look it up.

  16. Specialist290 says:

    Re speeding up / slowing down music: I enjoy doing that, too, only now it’s using a CD and this nifty program that came bundled w/ the comp 😀

  17. Knownimus says:

    Wow…I’m not even old enough to remember vinyl records…

  18. Pharon says:

    Something tells me this will all end in pain.

  19. Blurrr says:

    FYI – CW McCall (or at least the guy who called himself that) now lives in Ouray Colorado and even spent some time as their mayor.

  20. Zizi the Pirate says:

    No biff! DON’T DO IT!! D:

  21. He he , I found Judus Priest LPs played at 45rpm so much more enjoyable.

    Like Pinky & perky doing thrash metal.

  22. Lucretiel says:

    geeklord: they have USB vinyl devices that do just that. Chris: yet another excellent comic of the wonderful world of Biff

  23. Andrew says:

    I know this is a stupid question, but what’s the album that he’s trying to import?

  24. Chuck says:

    Knowing Biff, he’ll probably cut out his entire collection BEFORE trying to import one and learning that it doesn’t work…

  25. Chryssta says:

    OMG!!! THe protable red and white record player! That was the kind I had as a kid too! I wish my mother hadn’t sold it at a yard sale, but the needle was shot and at the time, they were starting to abolish record players for CDs. I wonder what happened to my old records…

  26. Ralf says:

    For Geeklord, and anyone else interested in the same:


    Just noticed that the other day, thought about this very comic!

  27. TKort says:

    Blurrr- Ouray rocks! (hah, that’s a bit of a pun too :))

    Chris- Steve Martin King Tut!?! wow that song rocked!! My favourite first records were kiddy ones.. there was one with the greasy grimy gopher guts song on it, and another one with Disco Duck (that might have been the name of the album) haha.. it was great

  28. Jenna says:

    I wonder if Biff appreciates “Funny Farm” by Dr. Demento…

  29. isana says:

    omg i love the song convoy! i listend to it on full volume once and i was dancing around and stuff my dad gave me a weird look.

    “and 11 long haired friends of jesus in a chartuse microbus”

  30. Malachite Dragon says:

    I have a lava lamp 😀

  31. Spoot Knight says:

    Oh good lord…

  32. Mint Sharpie says:

    *rolls on floor laughing*

  33. Frank says:

    My dad has a huge vinyl collection. probably 50 or more. he’d be horrified if he saw Biff doing this!

  34. Angel says:

    When I was little I had a portable record player that looked like a sideview of a passenger jet cockpit. It opened like a book and you would put the record on it and close it to play. It was the most awesome thing I ever owned, that I can think of, and I was so sad the day the needle broke off of it and my parents wouldn’t take it to be fixed. I would sit there and watch the record spin in silence for a while then a few hours later, I took the broken needle and placed it into one of the grooves. I was amazed that I could hear Baloo singing “Bear Necessities” through the needle, but I had to hold my head close to it to hear it well. After that I became my own record player… Until I finally got tired of holding the needle. :p

  35. darkpheonix XIII says:

    Me and my sister were cleaning out the upper part of our garage, when we found a bucket filled with old records. Now all we need to do is find a record player. Or even a clay pigeon launcher. Either will work.

  36. snakeadelic says:

    …raised by hippies, still own a working turntable (1983!!! Fisher, formerly owned by my best friend, has a shorted volume button and dull needle but all else is well). I also have about 75 LPs, along with maybe 40 7″ singles–including King Tut AND Bear Necessities, oddly enough. Now who here remembers cassette singles??? LOL…got about 30 of those. Someday I would totally

  37. snakeadelic says:

    …love to find out about the equipment and software necessary to import audio data from the turntable (which does have a headphone jack) but for now I gotta wait until there’s a “fun budget” for such things 🙂

  38. Colin says:

    i’ve seen cds with a vinyl top. O__O whoa
    also, i’ve got my own digitizing equipment,
    on the cheap.
    an old, but powerful stereo (he a jack labeled phonograph, both in use)
    20 dollars worth of cords.
    some weird dijerido made by samsung or something, that converts HI-FI sound into today’s high quality standards(unreachably behind my stereo, 50 bucks)
    a record player (quanta 720, 15$ at a garage sale, good needle)
    a hookup from computer to stereo (Windows media player compatable, rockin)
    and $16.77 worth of software for music editing, clarifying

    cords: 20$
    equipment: 65$
    software: 17$
    Rocking out old school in a new school way: priceless.

  39. TYRANAX says:

    Ahh Biff….

  40. Bakelite says:

    I have a collection of about 30 record decks, including an early ’70s Rega Planet and a wind-up gramophone, and my record collection includes a very rare copy of Dark Side of the Moon pressed on blue vinyl. I’m 15 years old. Something isn’t right here…

  41. Amake says:

    I read somewhere that someone was developing some technology for scanning vinyl records and then you could play them in your computer from the pictures. Though that was a few years ago and no one’s heard anything since. . .

  42. Langly says:

    I got a laserdisc player awhile back at a thrift shop. Powered it up, went to open it and it wouldn’t open. Take it apart to find someone jammed a “unbreakable” LP record in it. And the spindle of the motor had melted into the record and fused it in place. I bent and twisted and pried that record to no avail, finally had to find a way to cut it out nearly breaking the player in the process.

  43. Twigs says:

    This one made me cringe =/

  44. kinkinkijkin says:

    “I remember when the music compilation albums were sold on “two LPs or two cassettes” and I’m only 24. I actually remember seeing a CD for the first time and thinking “wow, rainbow colors””
    I did too! But I’m literally half your age!

  45. SurveySays says:

    i remember the first time my mother got a dvd player and about 5 dvds. we watched the first one and i started pushing buttons. she asked me what i was doing and i told her i was trying to figure out how to rewind it…

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