#1020 – Nick

Every time I tink I’ve had something lifted from me it turns out I just left it somewhere instead. My thieves are considerate enough to only steal things I leave lying around out in the open. Things in my pocket may possibly be needed at any moment. The bicycle in the back yard is clearly abandoned and falls under salvage rules.


12 thoughts on “#1020 – Nick”

  1. Cheshire says:

    Its worse when ‘salvage’ rules apply to things in your house… like money… when the only people in the house are those that have been allowed access… like family.

  2. AwakeAgain says:

    BRILLIANT! A genuine “GUFFAW” laugh just came out of my face hole. Great start to my day!

  3. Ziriath says:

    Sometimes I think I lost my mp3 player in a bus, cos my pocket is empty. And after a while I realize I still have music in my headphones and the player is in the other pocket.

  4. baughbe says:

    I had a bicycle I had built out of dumpster bikes and about $15 of actually bought parts. Now the scene. Fenced and gated yard. Nobody to be seen for four blocks. Open gate, go through gate, close gate. Put bicycle on porch beside door. Go in, pour glass of tea. Walk back outside with drink in hand. Bike stolen. Total time inside was about 45 to 60 seconds. Later they came back for the rusted out hibachi that was on the porch. I have lived in some interesting places.

  5. Paku-san says:

    I feel the pain of biff. That has actually happened to me before. basically saem situation, same kind of head set, just different location.

  6. PsychoDuck says:

    I hope this isn’t “Things that actually happened to me while in Toronto oh my god that sucked” week.

    The Duck Has Spoken.

  7. MaskedMan says:

    I had something in my pocket lifted. It was my decoy wallet. 😀

  8. Mophtran says:

    Masked Man thanks for the brilliant idea. Next time I go to NYC I’ll put a decoy in my pocket with monopoly money and a note that says “HAHA SUCKER”

    And then they’ll steal my real wallet instead.

  9. Cari says:

    Someone once broke into my car (which was unlocked because the lock was broken) and the only thing they stole was the deformed toy panda hanging from my rearview mirror. They didn’t bother with the stereo because it had an 8-track and the speakers were cheap home stereo speakers laying on the floor in the back and wired in under the front seat.

  10. Polymorph says:

    I once had a pair of headphones that had a cord that could plausibly stretch that far. One time, to see how far it could go, I went into every room of the house, making sure to catch the cord on something so I don’t end up with a straight line. I entered every room of the house in a circular fashion, came back into my room, and still had about a couple feet of slack. Sadly, I have no idea where they went. I think they got lost in the move.

  11. reynard61 says:

    @ MaskedMan & Mophtran: I can go you both one better: a number of years ago, I knew a guy who stuffed his decoy wallet with religious tracts.

  12. YukiSnowflake says:

    i never have a USE for my decoy wallet, as there is no money in my normal wallet. purse. money eating thing. whatever.
    BUT, i just had a great idea!

    get a wallet, fill with monopoly money, wrap in paper, and use as a gift.
    put on the gift tag, “i got you money for your birthday”

    actually, no, thats a waste of good monopoly money!

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