#664 – Aftermath

As I got older my mom would sometimes have trouble figuring out what to get me for Christmas. She would sometimes resort to the flawed logic of “Chris likes (insert pop culture event here), therefore any manufactured object relating to that is fair game.” This culminated in 1997 when the Star Wars Special Edition movies were playing in the theaters. I was very excited to see them and probably mentioned them a bunch of times throughout the year. That Christmas she combined my interest in Star Wars with my dislike for alcohol gave me a large Star Wars themed beer stein.


46 thoughts on “#664 – Aftermath”

  1. Davey says:

    I liked legos when I was young. Ergo, Bionicle for three years straight.
    This year, I got puffy plaid Pakistani pajama pants.

  2. Speakerblast says:

    That belt is actually really awesome

  3. I usually get a 100-disc spindle of DVD+Rs, some money, some snacks, and maybe some dollar-store handyman supplies as stocking-stuffers. I couldn’t ask for a better present.

  4. Tvae says:

    I am jealous of Biff’s noodle inspector hat. It is classy to the umpteenth degree.

  5. Linuxexorcist says:

    Biff could try to get the matching parmesan-theme pants, socks, and shoes!, I got a pile of beef jerky, ’nuff said

    A happy boxing day o all and to all a good ski/gift-card-use/whatever you do

  6. J says:

    I used to get art supplies at every gift giving occasion from most all of my relations. So much that i never actually had to buy any untill one year when i made some joke to my dad about the year’s “obligatory art supplies”. ever since then i’ve had to actually pay for my pens and paper.

  7. teh n00b says:

    legos, always legos for me. bricks, not technic or anything like that. and almost always lego star wars. why, just yesterday i got a new set of lego stormtroopers for my army, and lego star wars 2 for the ds. i have become quite the authority and brickmaster of legos.


  8. teh n00b says:


    we wish you a merry festivus,
    we wish you a merry festivus,
    it’s a festivus for the restivus,
    at thebookofbiff.com!!!!

  9. Bob says:

    Err, sorry to point this out, but…

    should be “a new subject on which to focus their gift giving”

  10. SEA says:

    O-o…nice hat and shirt! XD

    Don’t really celebrate, don’t get presents. =p (the thing i mentioned on the last page’s post was because i asked my aunt for the gift myself)

  11. Rainel says:

    I haven’t really had a theme since I was a kid. When I was a kid everyone used to get My Little Pony stuff… which I liked until I was about 6 years old. Then I got into models (like cars and airplanes and stuff) and no one payed attention… and I continued to get cutesy girly things till I was 14… haha now everyone just gives me gift cards to bookstores and art supply shops. Well minus my BF and dad (because they actually pay attention to stuff I want)

  12. trueblaze says:

    Every year, what do I ask for chirstmas? Gaming stuff. Every year what do I get? Clothes.

    This year sucked expecially, both my mother and my nephew got a Wii for christmas. And me? Why four pairs of pants and an electric shaver of course (although I did actully need the shaver>.>)

  13. Dartigen says:

    Most years, I get that sort of stuff from my extended family. Their logic: ‘Dart is a girl, girls like makeup and jewelary, therefore Dart likes makeup and jewelary.’
    But my parents this year went all-out getting stuff I really like – a fully-adjustable dressmaker’s dummy, a Wacom drawing tablet, a copy of Photoshop, and $200 in cash.
    I’ll either end up spending that money on fabric, or it’ll go into my ‘Flatbed Scanner Buying Fund’.

  14. MaskedMan says:

    We tell each other what (in borad categories) we want. It limits the disappointment, even if it limits the degree of surprise, too. So, when I opened the box contain the complete works of Monty Python yesterday, well, I wasn’t terribly surprised, but I WAS greatly pleased.

  15. soulofaqua says:

    I can’t helpt to relate Biff’s noodle inspector tshirt with the song don’t play with your noodle…. I am honestly shocked by this revelation of his sexual preferences.

  16. Thane of Eurmal says:

    That was my thought too – “Well, well… Biff’s a NOODLE inspector!”

    @teh noob: Can you post an image of Lego-Biff when you’re done? I love legos, but never had enough to be truly ambitious.

    So I (39) and my son (4 1/2) got a lego set jointly yesterday! We had fun…

  17. Kurast says:

    LEGOs were my thing as well. I’d get a set from each relative.

    Now that I’m a casual computer gamer who never leaves my lair, normally it’s mundane things like clothes. Though, this year booked me a 22 inch Widescreen monitor.

    Yay for parents.

  18. Kelly says:

    Have to agree, that noodle inspector hat is pretty sweet.
    I got nothing this year. That’s right … Nothing.

  19. Grug says:

    Merry Biffmas!

  20. Chamberino says:

    It just ain’t christmas without Lego! I want that hat. It looks so darn awesome!

  21. DanBrassaw says:

    i agree with speaker – that belt is badass.

  22. Matthew says:

    It was all so easy and great when you were a kid! You’d just get your favourite toy and it would all be good. I’d always get LEGO and often times also some new ice hockey equipment which was always cool.

    Now it’s become so inreasingly hard to shop for anyone… Most of the time now we just all go in on one big gift, since most things people need now are just way too expensive for one person to buy themselves. (TVs, cameras, etc)
    It’s quite crazy actually.

  23. DracoZereul says:

    One word: Dragons.

    If anyone doesn’t know what to get me for Christmas, they know anything dragon-related will work. I love collecting the stuff. Keychains, statues, mugs, even stuff I’d never use I’d gladly accept if it has a beautifully-carved/painted dragon on it.

  24. Trevor says:

    This is by far the absolute worst thing about christmas, you have to remember to tell your parents that you’re fine without gifts related to what they know you’ve checked out recently.
    But hey, at least this allowed me to get all three books of biff yesterday.

  25. Trevor says:

    Sorry about this double post, but I had accidently sent before finishing.
    But it also got me a game that I had already rented and pretty much beat.

  26. Crimson_regret says:

    Well, I’m jewish.

    I don’t know if any other families follow the same tradition, but the first few nights are nothing gifts, that my brother and I asked for a few packs of gum, a box of peanut brittle (Yum!) from sees candies, little things.

    Then the whole family (my mom’s side, anywway, only 4 memebers on my dad’s side) and we have our big party, where the good stuff is.

    Ours is tomorrow, I’m exited! Last year it was a great new bike (and bike lock) after the one I allready owned was stolen.

    I know I’m geting a copy of left 4 dead, who knows what else?

  27. Kitchen Pixie says:

    Those earmuffs are cute! ^_^ I want some!

  28. kroko_dok says:

    He MUST be Pastafari.

  29. Foxhound2 says:

    Ha, Ha, Funny!!! XD XDD

  30. the_gail says:

    Ahh theme presents. One year my grandmother went, Gail likes the color green, there for green presents. Green post-it notes, white out with a green container, green toy chiceken,it was so much fun. This year however I got the stuff that clearly screams we know nothing about Gail, candles I’m allergic to, handbags I’ll never use, gift cards to stores I don’t shop in, and a recipe book when I don’t cook.

  31. William Syler says:

    I didn’t get much this year.
    Heroes Season 2 (AWSOME!)
    Some underwear (I CAN USE THAT IN COLLEGE!!!)
    2 Laundry Bags (MORE COLLEGE USEFULNESS!!!)
    But mostly the biggest thing I got was around Thanksgiving. I got my laptop then because my computer decided to die. And I needed the laptop. So here I am, with a laptop for Christmas (Which I got early!)

  32. teh n00b says:

    @Thane of Eurmal:
    working on it. going great, but expect some color weirdness.
    the eyebrows and maouth are killing me to make though!

  33. LoveDog says:

    Pretty much my mom’s gift giving, exactly. I like snakes, so I get…’Runs With Snakes’ hoodie, ‘Eat Sleep Herpetology’ sweater, ‘Bite Me’ tee, snake earrings, snake bumperstickers, a snake x-ing sign, snake necklace, snake pin…and a breadbox. No lie.

  34. kenjitheninja says:

    MERRY GHOSTMAS! (50 points to whoever knows what I’m talking about)

  35. Abby says:

    For me it’s goldfish. It’s spread to the point where my boyfriend’s mom sent him a goldfish-themed birthday card this year because -I- like goldfish.

  36. Charles says:

    “Biff realizes he needs to give his family a new subject to focus their gift giving on.”

    Wait…so this means Biff *has* a family (as opposed to being the product of asexual reproduction)?

    Sorry, just curious.

  37. Trevor says:

    @Kenji Blockhead.

  38. Sye216 says:

    Christmas this year was full of owls. My parents bought me about 10 or so different owl statues, including hand-carved stone ones. It was awesome, but a little variety would’ve been cool, too. I’m also glad one of my grandmothers gave me $100 in Christmas money, which I used to buy a copy of The Orange Box and a huge stack of books.

  39. Bakelite says:

    I’m into vintage radios, record players, that sort of thing, but my relatives just don’t know what to look for when buying that sort of thing, and always leave it to the last minute. So this year I got a gramophone with a mainspring that popped on the first playing, a transistor radio of unknown age and origin that may well be a repro and a Marconi valve radio that doesn’t work on FM and has rapidly peeling paintwork.

  40. The Dukenator says:

    @trueblaze: That’s why I ask for cash every year and I get something crap anyway.

    I was given a Xbox 360 as a gift months later. This was last year.

  41. The Dukenator says:

    This year, someone gave me a Hello Kitty ‘Sleeping Kitty’ AM/FM clock radio for Christmas. It was my idea in the first place. However, it didn’t show up until after New Years.

  42. Kenji the Ninja says:

    Chris, have you ever considered making a Biff belt buckle?

  43. marr965 says:

    ZOMG, Biff has a family?! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!

  44. Nokore says:

    I want his earmuffs. oo

  45. Burden13 says:


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