#478 – Slam

I have two painful door experiences from childhood that still haunt me. The first was getting my leg slammed in a car door. I got in and my friend decided to close the door for me. He liked slamming things around so this was just another opportunity he couldn’t pass up. The worst part is that it was a 1970’s station wagon. So it was a giant 6 foot wide door of evil that was flung at me. Amazingly my little chicken leg survived without breaking. A few years later another friend of mine slammed his kitchen door onto my thumb. Now that I think about it, that’s what I was getting even for when I put jalapeƱo juice in his root beer. šŸ™‚


48 thoughts on “#478 – Slam”

  1. Micah says:

    Ah, this must be hand week.

  2. Sleepingorange says:

    Eeugh… I love the little folds of skin at the top.

  3. PsychoDuck says:

    Hand week… Probably the most niche of all themes thus far.

    I bet it’s going to be awesome.

    *Looks back at the other comics from this week*

    Well, so far so good.

    The Duck Has Spoken.

  4. PsychoDuck says:

    Wait a sec, Monday’s was about eyes, not hands. Is it just generic physical ailment week?

    ‘Cause I can get behind that idea, too.

    Dammit, I should be working right now…

    The Duck Has Spoken.

  5. MaskedMan says:

    I had the car-door thing too, when I was a kid. But much worse was getting a submarine water-tight hatch slammed on my head and neck. That one not only hurtl like hell, but laid me up for days with a wrenched neck and a concussion.

  6. Taz says:


    I remember when I was a kid, we were chasing eachother around in this sorta.. box of doors, in this furniture-type store. Either way, I slipped, and my foot fit perfectly under the door. Or, almost perfectly. It hurt my big toe really bad, and it bugged me until I decided to take a look at it. I don’t know how, but it kinda dented my big toe in the middle. The nail didn’t pull up, it went under the door quite smoothly, but there was such little room that the door pressed on it with enough force to leave that dent, which stayed there for a long time. [Years, I think.] Also, it was purple at the time.

    It’s gone now, though. šŸ˜€

  7. stonehydra says:

    How dose Biff not have his on reserved parking spot at hospital, right up front?

  8. SEA says:

    …ouch, that would hurt.

    I don’t remember much of getting my hands slammed by the door,but i am sure it WAS painful.

    Guess you friend got jalapeƱo juice justice =p

  9. Chuck says:

    I had a car door close on my leg. It was parked at an incline, so I opened the door, started to climb out, and, well, you know the rest.

    I also smashed my finger while pulling a door shut. Now I make sure all my fingers are wrapped tightly around the knob before I pull.

  10. pieman says:

    i remember when i was a kid…wait a second, i still am! well, when i was more of a kid, at least, i got my fingers trapped in just about every dor i came accross. when i was even younger than that, i think i had a daily ritual of falling down the stairs.

    ahhh, good times.

  11. TMG says:

    Ah, yes, those blasted stairs. That was some 17 years ago and I can still feel the whole-body throbbing sensation…why does excruciating pain pain have to be so easy to remember???

    @ Taz – My brother got a dent in his forehead when he was only 4 or 5 that lasted for several years.

  12. Matthew says:

    When I was a kid, back in Germany, we had a huge metal door (which thinking back can’t have been to heavy if I was able to open it) at the back of the garage. Coming from the garden I opened the door, I was four or five, I wanted to get my tricycle. I was all about the tricycle. Bitches didn’t know about my tricycle. Away from memes, back to story, strong wind is strong and blows door shut on me. I pulled away everything except half of my left index finger. After this I don’t recall anything. Supposedly it’s a surprise I remember anything, but I have a dozen or so memories from those times, this one being the most vivid.
    Story however goes I stood there with my index finger hanging off the rest of my finger by just my skin, my sister screams, parents come, hospital rush and they fixed it all up.
    It’s a normal finger now, just a scar where they put it all back together. I thank the doctor personally last time I was in the neighbourhood.
    Back then people still had fingers being fixed and they could never move them again.

  13. Matthew says:

    I also used to frequntly stand on chairs, fall off and have nose bleeds… I have two memories of that, my mum said it was at least once a month until I started playing ice hockey in CND.

  14. Arix says:

    About a week ago, I slammed my finger in a door. Now the nail’s gone completely black and the tip is swollen in a very weird fashion – it’s normal size until about half a centimeter below the nail, then all of a sudden it puffs up like buggery.

    Funny thing is it itches more than hurts.

  15. ChooChooBear says:

    Once I slammed a car door shut on my sister’s arm. She was totally pissed off, and she got revenge on me at the supermarket by pushing me over onto the ground and trying to run me over with the trolley. Luckily, she only got to my ankles until Mum noticed my pained shrieks and put a stop to it.

    I did get my finger smashed in a door once, when me and my sister were playing chasings and she slammed shut a door behind her to try and keep me away, and I cleverly stuck my hand out to stop it.

  16. Seraphine says:

    It’s kharma.
    What’s slammed around
    comes around.

  17. Chivalrybean says:

    My left thumb nail is bigger than the other because several years ago I was going to the library and got my thumb stuck in the car door as it was closing. It swelled up with blood and I had to drain it by drilling a hole in the nail with a pocket knife. After a while, the nail came off. Icky.

    A few years later I was cleaning my room and I found that nail in a ziplock bag. Older me thought younger me was a silly person and disposed of the disembodied nail. Bloody think still haunts me at night, scratching on the walls, and I even moved to new places!

  18. Chris says:

    Dang, I’ll have to remember to not come back and read the new comments around lunch time. :0

  19. Lucretiel says:

    Classic…. Truly classic…

  20. Ceton says:

    I once slammed my fingers and a car door, it hurt.

    Luckily I was 4 and had small fingers and the door had rubber lining all around limiting the damage

  21. Morzikei says:

    Hey, you mentioned the jalapeno juice in root beer practical joke again…

  22. the Scarf says:

    Well…I fell off the back of the stage during rehearsal yesterday, and I’ve sprained my wrist. It’s not too bad, but It’s all bandaged up, and it hurts when I move it.
    As you can imagine, this makes it somewhat difficult to type.

    I’ve never broken any bones in my body, except for my teeth.
    When I was 7-8, I was riding around my block (I had just gotten my training wheels off!) when a car pulled into the driveway in front of me. I was going really fast, and wasn’t able to stop before I smacked into the side.
    My back two molars imploded on impact, and I had a quarter sized bruise on my chin for a long time. I dented up their car pretty badly…there were three dents, one from the wheel, one from my helmet, and one from my face. apparently it was a new car, too…

    Anyways, the summer before last I was going down a hill with my friend. We were both going pretty fast, and at the bottom of the hill, she got in front of me. There was a roundabout at the end of the hill, and I tried to swerve to avoid it and my friend, and I’m not sure what happened, but I ended up sliding on my face across the ground for several feet. My front two teeth, plus one to the right all broke and the front left completely shattered. I had to get three root canals and now I have braces because of it.

    Good times.

  23. Amy says:

    I haven’t had any severe arm-in-car-door incidents (though plenty of moderate ones). My crowning achievement is flying over the handlebars of my bike while going UP a ramp. Yes, up. I caught myself in a 20mph push-up and broke both wrists and my right elbow. Naturally, this was right before a state piano competition, a band concert (no saxophone for me!), and keyboarding class.

  24. MarcusDranz says:

    I had the same thing happen to my right thumb, twice. First time, it was a door. Second time, I got into an argument with my brother in a car. Unfortunately for him, he had a ponytail. Unfortunately for ME, after I gave it a good solid yank, he slammed his hand into my thumb, knocking it straight back into the socket. So, it’s no wonder my right thumb is thicker than my left.

  25. Gobbledegook says:

    I’ve temporarily lost the feeling in most of my fingers at one point or another due to slamming doors.
    No broken fingers, though, so I guess I’m pretty lucky as a whole.

  26. BlueKitsune says:

    I think I’ve only smashed my fingers once in a car door. Tho the other day I got my thumb with a rubber mallet against a cooling finned engine, amazingly no damage at all to my thumb. Also nice work Chris, can’t wait to read the books!

  27. Daniel says:

    When I was a kid I slammed my own fingers in a van door. And then I did the thing where you try to jerk away but they were stuck…my fingers turned at least four different colors within the course of a week. Amazingly though, none of them broke. Also, slamming your thumb in a door to get back at you for jalapeno juice in his root beer? That seems a little harsh…

  28. Eludya says:

    Speaking of using the outside knob to lock a door, my husband showed me how our door can be closed when the inside is “locked” therefore sparing you having to fuss with keys outside of it. Now, I thought this was all fabulous, until I went out for my class a week ago, reached to get my car’s key… and discovered I had NONE of my keys.

    I spent the next 45 minutes on my doorstep waiting for a friend to come pick me up. Her husband had one of our spare keys but he was unable to receive a call and we can’t go into his lab. On the bright side, we went to the animal shelter and met the kitties. Squee!

  29. speearr says:

    Duuh to the door-closing.

    And duuh to the jalapeno pepper! I love those lil critters though…

  30. Halfcat says:

    0.o ouch….that just brings back a lot of painful memories.

  31. simply not edible says:

    It looks like it’s Pain-week alright. Ouch.

  32. Thorn says:

    Pain week? do you not read often Simply Not Edible?

  33. The Phill says:

    So I wanna say I was a senior in high school or maybe the summer right after. Yeah that was it. Well me and a few buddies where riding around in his saturn when we decided that we’d have our last night of fun b4 we sent our friend up north for school the next day. So we goof for awhile then me and one buddy wanted shotgun and bolted for the car. I managed to get there first and had my hand wrapped around the top and was pulling the door open when I got slammed from behind. Needless to say my fingers got closed into the door and all but my thumb got broken. I had to wear a hand cast for like 2 weeks. Most painful thing ever. BTW when ever he’s back for the summer I always get the front seat.

  34. Browman says:

    When I was 7 my mother accidentally rolled my head up in the car window.

  35. Bunyip says:

    That reminds me of a time at college, I was telling a friend to hurry up when a bunch of us were heading out for the night, I was leaning on the doorframe to their room, and still had my little finger there when they (accidentally I’m told) slammed the door locked. That was an interesting 10 seconds while they fumbled for their keys – I believe I was somewhat loud in my remarks. That taught me for being bossy!

  36. Colin says:

    Happened to my nephew (no i’m not that old, my sister is old enough to have a kid though) when he was 6. he got out of the door and reched back in for something and the door was closing because he forgot to stop it (oldsmobile eighty eight doors are LONG) finger was barely hanging on. got taken to the hospital, and the funny thing was that he didn’t cry when it was nearly detached (just a lot of “OW OW OWIE OWIE”s), but did when the stitches came.

  37. Psymon says:

    @Daniel: Chris used the jalapeƱo juice in the root beer to get back at his friend for slamming his fingers in the door, not vice versa.

    Once, when my Dad was little, he got his fingers caught in the car door. He tried to get the driver’s attention (current caretaker; cannot remember who exactly), but was told to shut up. So he did. And got many apologies when they finally stopped.
    I have no stories to compare, although I have gotten the car door shut on my fingers before, and also gotten my fingers squished a bit in the hinge side of a door. None of them were traumatic enough to be branded into my memory, though.

  38. ///.o Emo Ferret says:

    Worst door incident… I’ll have to say when I got a trailor door closed on my index finger for about 30 seconds… And since I was little I was pounding on the door trying to get my mom to open it and that made it worse… The pounding that is.

  39. Memo says:

    I actually did that once.. Hurt like crazy :-s

  40. mg10n says:

    I’ve smashed all of my fingers somehow. I’ve had my hand smashed in a car door, car window, under a 500lb rock, in a door, etc. I’m surprised my fingers survived it all without breaking… Although, some of my nails did crack and fall off.

  41. Cari says:

    I slammed my index finger in my car door once. I dislocated both joints. When I grabbed my finger to ease the pain, one was bent at a funny angle, and I felt the other one slide back into place (ew). I was on a softball team, and I had to play catcher that night…

  42. Zach Light says:

    ou… that reminds me when I jammed my hand into the sliding part of this van I had once, couldn’t feel my finger* except for the pain* for 3 weeks.

  43. Miles says:

    When we first moved to California, my mom had a big ’75 Buick Regal two door. I was six or seven at the time, and getting out of the car, managed to shut my fingers in the door… and the door was locked.
    My mom and her friend had gone ahead to the apartment, and I was stuck in the door for what seemed like quite some time until someone came looking to see what was taking me so long to come up.
    Later I got mu left thumb stuck in the door of a Mazda 626, with similar results. Anyone looking at my hands can tell my fingers have been broken and not set properly.

  44. Mr. B says:

    I once closed a freight elevator door from the inside by pulling down on the outside handle. The doors met in the center and latched on my hand. Ouchie!

  45. Kyle says:

    And as always thats biff’s/chris’s house because of the outlets

  46. ThunderBunny says:

    Kudos to Kyle for finally noticing the outlet. It is:
    1. Mounted in the wrong direction (horizontal with the studs, instead of vertical)
    2. The prongs should be parallel with the outlet plate (not perpendicular)
    3. The ground is missing (unless he’s got a really old home)
    4. The prongs are both the same width (not polarized, again unless he’s got a really old home)

  47. Mags says:

    I had a car door slammed on my thumb while I was traveling with my parents.

    It bled for more than half the trip. No, I’m not kidding. Half the trip, my thumb was spewing out red liquid from it, especially at the fingernail. Now I don’t even remember which thumb it was. XD

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