#1028 – Triangulate
Posted on May 20, 2010 at 12:00 am by Chris
Chapter: Comics
I’ve worked at a few places that has code words or gestures to alert other employees when the boss or supervisor was in the area. People would suddenly spring into amazing exhibits of model teamwork and efficiency. If we all worked at that level of enthusiasm 100% of the time they would only need half of us. I hope nobody I worked for in the past develops time travel technology that would allow them to read this. If so, sorry Chris from the 90’s.
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Oh, if only my coworkers and I could figure out how to put a bell around our boss’s neck. My biggest dread is that he’ll materialize behind me and overhear me complaining about him. In fact, he might even be reading this right now!
I wonder what these code words or gestures were for the boss or supervisor.
I wonder why today’s comic makes me think of Dilbert.
This is going to bother me now.
I once worked at a place where the found a way to measure one’s work efficiency directly. (Work Involved manual labor) They tried having some people work for full speed at one hour and based it on that. As it turns out, it’s not possible to work at “full efficiency” for hours at a stretch; the “good workers” only managed around 60-70% for a 6 hour shift, and the “slackers” only did around 40-50%. One person managed to do nearly 80% for awhile, but it took a serious toll on them. Also those who were consistently slackers got pay cuts.
his boss must be a real DOG to be fitted with a collar!
@ Not Me Yeah that’s like basing the time to run a mile based on a 50 yard sprint. And there are literally hundreds of consultants who will try to say it can be done. In reality, they know very well that it’s a lie. It’s just a convenient way to cut paychecks.
@Not Me Please stop, you’re reminding me of a module I did in college last semester; Productions and Operations Management. Horrible subject. Ever had to define “within arms’ reach”? I did *shudder*
The wisdom of bumperstickers:
Jesus is coming. Look busy.
In the Nav, we did something called “Engineered Time Values” for jobs – They calculated the times involved, on average, to do various maintenance and repair tasks. In a fit of pragmatic reality, they even engineered-in things like “Waiting To Draw Parts From Stores” and “Delay In Coordinating With Ship’s Force.” The end results were remarkably accurate and reflective of the real world. No doubt they scrapped it shortly after I left the Tender. :p
As for code words and ‘Teh Boss,’ when I was still in Submarines, anyone whom saw a senior officer in the engineering spaces would grab up the nearest sound-powered phone and select Maneuvering; saying “Charlie Oscar Aft” (‘Commanding Officer is in the engineering spaces’) The XO was ‘X-Ray Oscar,’ The Navigator was ‘Nav,’ and so on.
Very embarasing, though, if you’re slow and the officer in question is fast though, and they get to Maneuvering in time to hear your warning come over the monitor speakers… 😛
@Masked Man: …. Down Periscope? o_O
I remember those happy days in the office wilds- documenting my boss’s activities and then tagging her for migratory purposes. Truly incredible creatures.
@August – Majestic even
I work at a fast-food place directly across from three high schools, so we only work when there’s actually people coming in – which is for about an hour in the morning and about two hours late in the afternoon. Between those times, you can’t do anything *but* slack off. There’s only so many times you can wash the deep-fryer baskets before the manager tells you to go find something else to do until a customer shows up.
I usually play Tetris on my phone.
I haven’t learned how to slack off yet. Paranoid of losing my amazing for a student job!
Reminds me of a story my old landlady told me – back when she was a teacher at a deaf school, there was one teacher none of the other faculty members or students much cared for due to her tendency to pass along to her brother (the superintendent) any gossip she picked up on. Someone came up with a sign that related to how this teacher tended to dress, and from then on, if two people (whether teacher or student) were talking and one saw that teacher in the area, the sign would be made and the subject immediately changed to an unimportant one. This scheme was successfully used for the remainder of that teacher’s tenure (the principal got tired enough of her ways that he led a faculty mini-revolt to get the superintendent to let her go. He did, but right after that, he canned the principal!).
But who belled the boss?
We need one of those for my boss, but so we can find her when we need her. She runs around the building a lot, and when we need to ask her something, she’s usually not in her office.
As for being scared of being caught slacking… I’m in a corner, with my back to the wall. It’s lovely.
@Mewthicus; One of my favorite movies. Disturbingly accurate in some ways…
@MaskMan: I think I may have been slightly offended if you hadn’t seen it. 🙂
I would think his eyebrows could pick up signals.