That Oughta Keep the Little Bastards Happy

[Drakey]

Okay, Drakey's doing it again.

Here's an RP. We are all cartoon characters from real cartoons. That's the only requirement behind your character. The concept is simple. Cartoons are actors. They go in, they do their thing, they go home, they screw the cartoon-wife.
This is after the show is over, after the lights go down.
You think Bugs Bunny should be addicted to crystal meth? Go for it!
You think Megatron collects porcelian dolls and breeds kittens? Go for it!
You think Homer Simpson is a Harvard-educated ultragenius who must wear a bald cap for his role? Go for it!
You think General Grievous from the Clone Wars cartoons is actually moonlighting as an actor to pay for medical school? Too bad, I'm playing him.

Of course, no RP would be fun without an object to it. Without a villain.

For comedy's sake, the villain shall be Mickey Mouse.

Here we go.

It was a cold, dark day. He sat on the edge of the desk, his feet dangling off the sides, his lover... his lover at his feet, dead.
She had been good to him, but the time for that was over. Mickey jumped down and kicked the worthless hulk of the girl aside. The knife in her back fell away.
He called forth the only worth she ever truly held. The trick of it.
The Throughworld, the land of the Cartoons, the World of Make-Believe... it was a place of magic, if you knew how to find it. A place of power.
Mickey gathered the dark energies around him and pointed them at Cinderella's corpse--and she evaporated.
Yes. This would be the newest of his powers. Minnie would be, naturally, appalled that he had stolen it, at first, but soon, she would fall back into his arms as usual, and they would return to power... ever returning to power.
This would be a good time.

Theodore Jonathan Grievous really hated the Neutron boy.
He was... too damned smart.
It was unnatural. That was the problem with these CGI brats. They were too smart, too stupid, too beautiful... too like their roles.
"And from there we take the magnetic field and repolarize it again, and there you have it. Oscillation leading to a permanent chain reaction."
"Shut up, James, or I'll tell everyoneyour middle name."
Jimmy just grinned and tilted his enormous head up at Grievous. "Got under your skin, didn't I? You just can't stand that they wanted me to build a hyperdrive on the show."
"I don't see why you need it. Your little show's physics are completely screwy. Mine are at least a little realistic."
Jimmy twitched. "Did you feel that?"
"Feel what?"
"It was like... like something happened to the whole universe. Ah, I'm imagining it.


Character Sheet:

Name:
Cartoon of origin: (Wiki link)
Cartoon Bio: (Wiki link)
RL Bio: (what your character is like when not acting.)

My characters:

Name: Theodore "Teddy" Jonathan Grievous
Cartoon of origin: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars:_Clone_Wars_(2003_TV_series)
Cartoon Bio: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Grievous
RL Bio: Grievous is a snotty kind of a guy. He likes to think that his character is at least as cool as he is, and so he keeps very fit. He also keeps lightsabers, which in this screwy world are as dangerous as any gun. He's become an excellent swordsman by practicing for the show, but he hasn't ever really gotten the chance to use it. He mostly relies on the money he got for playing his role while he looks for something else to do with the myriad of other retired-from-acting cartoons.

Name: Mickey Harold Disney-Smith
Cartoon of origin: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mickey_mouse
Cartoon Bio: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mickey_mouse
RL Bio: Mickey sees the handwriting on the wall. He spends most of his time lately posing for merchandise and stuffed animals. He wants to be more. Over the years, he's learned a lot. He's learned that love, for him, is a false thing, unreal and unsatisfying. He's learned that he is cruel at heart. He's also learned of the occult powers of the odd world of Make-Believe.
He has begun ripping the magical essence away from others, starting with Disney characters. He is almost certainly one of the most powerful cartoons in existence, and he plans to overtake the world of Make-Believe, overpower its armies, and become like a little god.

[Axe Shredder]

Name: Bugs Bunny
Cartoon of origin: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Looney_Tunes
Cartoon Bio: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bugs_Bunny
RL Bio: Outside of acting he occasionally deals various drugs, is suspected of many gang related crimes and several Farm burnings, stealing carrots beforehand.
He is also engaged in about  3 marriages in two countries.

[Drakey]

Name: Bugs Bunny
Cartoon of origin: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Looney_Tunes
Cartoon Bio: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bugs_Bunny
RL Bio: Outside of acting he occasionally deals various drugs, is suspected of many gang related crimes and several Farm burnings, stealing carrots beforehand.
He is also engaged in about  3 marriages in two countries.

Neat.

[Axe Shredder]

I always thought he must be on something.

[Drakey]

So is this Chav Bugs or just Gang-Member Bugs.

[Axe Shredder]

So is this Chav Bugs or just Gang-Member Bugs.

The latter.

[SpriteMeister]

Gah, I can't think of who to use...

[Drakey]

What kind of a character are you going for? Contrasts are a good place to start, having your character be the polar opposite of what they play.

[Mystery Fish]

Go for Strawberry Shortcake.

[SpriteMeister]

I was considering using the broom from Sorcerer's Apprentice...

[Orangey]

Name: Mandy
Cartoon of Origin: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy (Link to be posted at a time when internets are less terrible)
Cartoon Bio: See above
RL Bio: In her role, Mandy (Grey to her friends) is a megalomaniacal little girl with control issues and fists of fury; her character wields the occult only as a tool, and generally by proxy. In real life, the occult is her passion; acting is just a job to fund her research. She's not preternaturally gifted, and she specializes in abjurations, so she's not much of a combat-mage, but she treats magic like a science, and has spent years tying to understand the undelying forces that power the many disparate worlds of make believe. She spends most of her time engaged in experimentation and picking the brains of more powerful occultists than herself. She habitually wears her character's black hairband, which she's imbued with a number of powerful protective spells. She speaks in monotone, tends to act unperturbed, and has difficulty communicating with people stupider than she.

[Drakey]

Very nice.

[Orangey]

Glad you think so; this should be fun.

[Drakey]

Once Ziggy posts her bio, we'll start.

[Ziggy Stardust]

Names: Yakko, Wakko, and Dot Warner
Cartoon of origin: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animaniacs
Bio: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yakko,_Wakko,_and_Dot
RL Bio: Siblings that roam the streets of California. Their nationality and form is undeterminable; their backgrounds are largely unknown. They have all been known to organize various bank heists and drug deals; sometimes seperately, but mostly united. They have a ruthless reputation; all of their partners have wound up in the gutter, shot or worse. All three have been known to deal and star in various pornos; Dot, the youngest, goes through lovers like Kleenex.
 

[Ziggy Stardust]

I cheated and used three. If I need to be more specific, I suppose I could be Dot.

[Drakey]

(I'm allowing that through just because Dot is so awesomely hilarious. We need a wiki link to the cartoon itself, Ziggy, but, approved.)

It was always so dark at home. Theodore flicked the lightswitch and the lights came up. His faithful dog, Marco, bounded up to him, licking at his knees. Grievous patted the dog on the head and moved into the next room. Something made a noise.
He stopped and turned, pulling out a lightsaber, instantly alert.
"Teddy, honey, I brought you a cake!"
Theodore Grievous put the lightsaber away. The voice was that of Padme Jane Amidala. Though they played bitter enemies, the two were actually very good friends. He enjoyed her bubbly personality, and suspected she had a crush on him. The girl was duller than a dead light bulb, though.
He walked into the kitchen where she was calmly dissecting a cake.
"You would not believe what Anakin did today."
"Called you again?"
"He still thinks that on-the-set romance can be real. I told him to go slurp on Ketchum's--"
Padme, what are you doing in my apartement?"
"Cutting the cake, silly!"
He sighed. "I mean, how did you get in here?"
"Mickey let me in. He's so nice."
Mickey. Naturally. The weird little mouse was the superintendent of Ted's apartment building. He had a thing for Padme.
"I don't like you hanging around with him. I think he's going to try something sometime."
She shrugged. "Maybe. Here, have some cake."
She handed him a slice.

[Orangey]

(That... Doesn't leave us a lot of room to respond. How should we connect ourselves to this situation?)

[Drakey]

(How do you relate to Mickey? You probably felt the disturbance of Mickey using magic more than a lot of people. Where is everyone... hell, maybe Mandy is looking for Mickey right now. Attack, call him out, do something. Be creative.)

[Orangey]

Mandy was doing the dishes when she felt it; she put down the grimoire, and the plate drifted gently into the sink. She hadn't noticed a nonreality discharge this big since... well... ever. There were always minor ones going off, especially as they filmed some of the more magical or silly TV shows (Mandy was particularly irritated at SpongeBob there; every fire that invertebrate bastard lit underwater grated on her finely-tuned nerves like a thousand violins being played by monkeys), but this was magnitudes bigger than any she'd ever felt before. She sighed, and shelved her tome. If only there was someone else that cared about this stuff. If only there was some kind of standardization. But no; everyone else took it for granted that things were the way the were. It was unconscionable, really.

Mandy pulled a large, leatherbound book off the shelf labeled "Observations", and began to write. She calculated direction and possible source, but without any kind of meaningful comparison, it was all academic. As she finished her entry, She put down the book, grabbed her coat and focus orb, and stepped out the door.

[Drakey]

(And now will the First Church of Cartoon-Jesus sing His praise...
I love that bit about Spongebob, Orangey.)

Mickey stalked into his office. The plan to obtain the power of the Force was nearing completion as well. He opened the back wall and stepped into his pocket-dimension. "Soon," he intoned solemnly.
He pulled a book from his shelf.
This would be a critical time. If with the power he had gathered, he could make his assault...
He slipped into the trance and searched for Skywalker...

[Ziggy Stardust]

Suddenly, yet another noise. Theodore once again pulled out a lightsaber.
"Where the hell is my money?" a voice boomed from the foyer. Teddy sighed, but didn't lower his lightsaber an inch.
In tromped Yakko Warner, his trademark khakis stained and battered. Behind him, dressed as provacatively as you please, was his sister Dot. She eyed Theodore sidelong. She was in the market for a new man after her latest fling fell through.
"Yakko, Dot. How are you doing?" Theodore said dryly, viewing behind them the remains of his door. "Yakko, I thought we took care of this. I paid that money back a long time ago."
Padme, from behind Theodore, tried to play hostess through her obvious fear. "W-won't you have some cake?" she feebly offered.
"Hell, no," Yakko scoffed, but Dot picked up a slice in her hands and ate it messily. "You stiffed me, man," he barked at Theodore.
"Yakko, you're drunk, aren't you?" said Theodore, ignoring him. "Dot?"
"Don't be looking at me, man," Dot protested. "I don't know what the hell is up with him."
"Shut up, bitch," Yakko nearly screamed at her; the exertion appeared too much for him, and he toppled over, passed out.
"Sorry, Teddy," Dot said, all fake remorse; "I just met him here."
"Whatever," Teddy sighed. "Help me out here, will you?" Together they carried him out into the grey air and threw him in the back seat of Dot's silver Civic.
"Bye, Teddy," Dot said in a girlish voice. "Call me sometime!"
Silent, disgusted, Theodore watched as they sped away into the darkening night.

[Drakey]

"And here comes Wakko, I'm sure," Teddy said sadly.
Padme nodded as a short figure passed them on the sidewalk.
She was distracted, looking up at the top of the apartment building.
"Mandy?"
"Ted."
Teddy sighed. Mandy had been the weird gal at work. She had a great love of the occult.

[Poltaap]

(lolz, I hope its not to late to join xD )

name: patrick (star)kovsky
cartoon: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SpongeBob_SquarePants
cartoon bio: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrick_Star

Bio:once was he the greatest writer of highly intellectual cartoon script, but after being denied a roll in " the little mermaid", his first try in the spotlight, did he go into a great depression, full of drinking and drugs, because of the humiliation from the press. he worked as a thug for a loanshark until the day a producer found him and wanted him to be in his new show.

he regret it quite fast, because he was forced to play a total dimwit together whit the guy who got his role in the little mermaid, spongebob.

[Drakey]

(lolz, I hope its not to late to join xD )

name: patrick (star)kovsky
cartoon: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SpongeBob_SquarePants
cartoon bio: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrick_Star

Bio:once was he the greatest writer of highly intellectual cartoon script, but after being denied a roll in " the little mermaid", his first try in the spotlight, did he go into a great depression, full of drinking and drugs, because of the humiliation from the press. he worked as a thug for a loanshark until the day a producer found him and wanted him to be in his new show.

he regret it quite fast, because he was forced to play a total dimwit together whit the guy who got his role in the little mermaid, spongebob.

(Is it wrong that that totally made me want to sex you up?)

[Orangey]

Mandy landed her shakily-piloted broom. She was extremely confused, and not just a little bit worried; she had expected the burst to have come from some set in the filming districts, but... she was standing in front of some apartment building. She'd have doubted herself, but she was still feeling the after-effects. She pulled a small totem on a chain out of a pocket; at a word, it jumped and pulled at the string. She was rather proud of this little charm. As she followed it in the doors and through the building, she remembered how long she'd spent designing it. She was fondly recalling the advice she'd gotten from Yoda, when she nearly walked into the superintendent's office. Curiouser and curiouser.

She knocked.

[Drakey]

Mickey's trance broke.
He turned and tumbled out of his pocket dimension. He knew where Skywalker was. It was all that mattered.
He opened the door and looked down slightly to see... Mandy.
Intolerable pipsqueak.
"What do you want?"

[Orangey]

Mandy blinked slowly and nearly choked; the apparition in the door was certainly physically Mickey Mouse, richest man in make-believe and beloved icon to children, but it smelled of sacrifice and gave off wave after wave of non-reality. Her nearly unflappable demeanor was in danger of unraveling, and she could feel the charm nearly explode in her hands.

Her mind raced; she no longer wanted a confrontation, and she needed an excuse. Someone who acted on her network lived here, she knew it... What was his name? Oh, yes!

"Excuse the interruption, sir, I merely needed some information. I was hoping you could direct me to Theodore Grievous's abode?"

[Drakey]

Mickey stared. "It's apartment 4A."

[Orangey]

Mandy bobbed her head gratefully.

"Much obliged, sir. I do hope you enjoy your day."

Mandy pivoted and walked away; many people were slightly put off by her stride; she was the only person anyone knew who could walk without moving ANYTHING but her legs. Mandy made great show of ascending the stairs, trying to contain her panic.