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the Scarf
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« Reply #30 on: October 19, 2008, 11:52:29 PM » |
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Holy butt this thread is awesome.
Silf is being a perv, and we're planning Biff as a Graphic novel.
It wins!
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The sky and air are full of cancer and the ground is full of poison. Only the internet understands. |
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Drakey
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« Reply #31 on: October 19, 2008, 11:58:41 PM » |
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It started with stuff from my mind. What did you expect, crushing boredom?
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Wow. I am so full of bull.  Gre sprite courtesy of Spritemeister (all rights reserved) Oh, that's just Marvin. He's dead, so he kinda smells a little bad. |
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Orangey
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« Reply #32 on: October 20, 2008, 12:01:26 AM » |
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Well, based on the Can of Worms thread (which is currently whimpering lonely...ly), boredom wasn't on the forefront of expectations.
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"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
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the Scarf
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« Reply #33 on: October 20, 2008, 12:02:06 AM » |
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It started with stuff from my mind. What did you expect, crushing boredom?
Of course not, even without mention of the Toastersnake it would have been awesome. Toastersnake just makes it Awesome. (with a capital! : D ) |
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The sky and air are full of cancer and the ground is full of poison. Only the internet understands. |
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Drakey
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« Reply #34 on: October 20, 2008, 12:04:08 AM » |
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Of course not, even without mention of the Toastersnake it would have been awesome.
Toastersnake just makes it Awesome. (with a capital! :D )
Yet another Toastersnake fact. We should get a Toastersnake Facts T-shirt added to the shop through petition. |
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Wow. I am so full of bull. Gre sprite courtesy of Spritemeister (all rights reserved) Oh, that's just Marvin. He's dead, so he kinda smells a little bad. |
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the Scarf
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« Reply #35 on: October 20, 2008, 09:21:34 AM » |
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I believe you are correct, Drakey.
Toastersnake should have it's own comic! It can be a more-than-one-panel thing that gets posted on Sundays!
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The sky and air are full of cancer and the ground is full of poison. Only the internet understands. |
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Silfedac
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« Reply #36 on: October 20, 2008, 02:31:32 PM » |
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Oh, so I'm a pervert because I see sexual undertones in giving people a hand and things getting hard?
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We're talking about CROTCH BEARDS.
I don't want the world, I just want your half. |
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Orangey
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« Reply #37 on: October 20, 2008, 02:41:19 PM » |
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Yes. In context, there was no reason for the sexual meanings of those phrases to be applicable.
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"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
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Silfedac
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« Reply #38 on: October 20, 2008, 02:58:32 PM » |
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Pshaw. Since when have I taken context into account?
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We're talking about CROTCH BEARDS.
I don't want the world, I just want your half. |
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Drakey
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« Reply #39 on: October 23, 2008, 02:17:16 AM » |
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To Meet You Anew, That You should Be Mine
There is in my heart no thought of sorrow
for I know I'll meet you again tomorrow,
and every time that I will meet with you,
I know it is our fate to meet anew.
I have not lost your hand but that I gain it
and losing it again I should then stain it
with the endless dye that comes of love
and the endless cry of that sweet dove.
I love yet that you whisper in my ear
and whispering is what from you is dear
and in your voice I hear the world's beauty
and in your voice I hear it singing to me.
Every day I know we meet anew
and every day I know that we come through.
Every single thought within my head
bends to you with every word here read.
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Wow. I am so full of bull. Gre sprite courtesy of Spritemeister (all rights reserved) Oh, that's just Marvin. He's dead, so he kinda smells a little bad. |
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Orangey
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« Reply #40 on: October 23, 2008, 02:20:11 AM » |
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Taken individually, the lines are well-written and lovely; however, the meter is subtly different between each one, and they don't gel as well as could be hoped. It's nice, but I like others of yours better.
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"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
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Drakey
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« Reply #41 on: October 23, 2008, 02:28:02 AM » |
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Taken individually, the lines are well-written and lovely; however, the meter is subtly different between each one, and they don't gel as well as could be hoped. It's nice, but I like others of yours better.
Yeah. This is one that forces the reader to alter their natural speech pattern in order to maintain cadence, but still, I like it for what it is, which is a pretty little love poem. It's more the message that's important than the composition. |
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Wow. I am so full of bull. Gre sprite courtesy of Spritemeister (all rights reserved) Oh, that's just Marvin. He's dead, so he kinda smells a little bad. |
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the Scarf
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« Reply #42 on: October 23, 2008, 09:28:00 AM » |
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Well, I like it.
But yeah, it does change meter a bit. I don't mind though. It's Rumi-esque otherwise, and Rumi Kicks ass.
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The sky and air are full of cancer and the ground is full of poison. Only the internet understands. |
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Poltaap
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« Reply #43 on: October 23, 2008, 09:32:41 AM » |
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*reads the poem while humming a "rise agains" themed melody* I ilke it  |
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Azathoth'ai llll c-ebumna! fm'latgh gof'nn shugg-oth!
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Drakey
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« Reply #44 on: October 23, 2008, 10:26:35 AM » |
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A lot better than
This is a poem
but it doesn't rhyme.
Oh well.
Isn't it?
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Wow. I am so full of bull. Gre sprite courtesy of Spritemeister (all rights reserved) Oh, that's just Marvin. He's dead, so he kinda smells a little bad. |
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the Scarf
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« Reply #45 on: October 23, 2008, 10:28:58 AM » |
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Heh. That reminds me of a Haiku I did for school once...
This is a haiku.
I have to write it for class.
But I don't want to.
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The sky and air are full of cancer and the ground is full of poison. Only the internet understands. |
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Drakey
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« Reply #46 on: October 23, 2008, 10:34:20 AM » |
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Bottom dwelling shark
is uglier than sin
but gets the job done.
In reference to a carpet shark.
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Wow. I am so full of bull. Gre sprite courtesy of Spritemeister (all rights reserved) Oh, that's just Marvin. He's dead, so he kinda smells a little bad. |
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the Scarf
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« Reply #47 on: October 23, 2008, 11:07:52 AM » |
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What is a carpet shark?
(Also, that's missing a syllable in the middle line. Maybe add an 'it's?)
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The sky and air are full of cancer and the ground is full of poison. Only the internet understands. |
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Drakey
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« Reply #48 on: October 23, 2008, 11:27:04 AM » |
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I pronounce "uglier" as three syllables. Thatmight not have been the original wording, though...
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Wow. I am so full of bull. Gre sprite courtesy of Spritemeister (all rights reserved) Oh, that's just Marvin. He's dead, so he kinda smells a little bad. |
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Orangey
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« Reply #49 on: October 23, 2008, 02:53:01 PM » |
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is ug li er than sin
1 2 3 4 5 6
That's only 6; it needs seven.
Haiku are easy,
But they often don't make sense.
Hippopotamus.
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"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
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Silfedac
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« Reply #50 on: October 23, 2008, 04:12:01 PM » |
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Best haiku ever.
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We're talking about CROTCH BEARDS.
I don't want the world, I just want your half. |
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the Scarf
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« Reply #51 on: October 23, 2008, 05:15:26 PM » |
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Agreed.  |
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The sky and air are full of cancer and the ground is full of poison. Only the internet understands. |
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Torg
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« Reply #52 on: October 23, 2008, 06:40:40 PM » |
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What is a carpet shark?
Ferret. |
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As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of solving approaches zero. The idea of you with a tank brings fear like I've never known.
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Silfedac
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« Reply #53 on: October 23, 2008, 07:47:45 PM » |
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No, it's more like a sand ninja.
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We're talking about CROTCH BEARDS.
I don't want the world, I just want your half. |
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Drakey
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« Reply #54 on: October 24, 2008, 01:55:19 AM » |
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Heartstrings
I have you on a string,
and it's a pretty thing,
I have you by the heart,
I have you not in part,
but rather, whole.
You have me on a rope
that makes me turn to hope.
You have me by the soul,
like a tiny vessel full
all up with you.
Heartstrings link us hard
with a loop around your heart.
Heartstrings bind us cold,
with a loop around my soul.
I love you.
Yeah... that's actually not about anyone, or it wasn't when I wrote it first, but... I had someone in mind copying it down.
I'm such a sentimental little Davey...
Perhaps Above This Hell
If the world were only mine
to do with as I please
I'd make it all sublime,
we all would be at ease.
If life would merely bow
and leave me up above,
perhaps I could endow
it with a bit of love.
If the world were only mine
to do with as I please
then would be the time
to bring it to its knees.
If I could only tell
you what I feel and know
perhaps above this hell
we could find a field of snow.
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Wow. I am so full of bull. Gre sprite courtesy of Spritemeister (all rights reserved) Oh, that's just Marvin. He's dead, so he kinda smells a little bad. |
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Orangey
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« Reply #55 on: October 24, 2008, 02:07:04 AM » |
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Coming on a little strong, Mr. Sentimental?
Well written, though. You should do something depressing next.
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"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
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Drakey
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« Reply #56 on: October 24, 2008, 02:08:34 AM » |
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Coming on a little strong, Mr. Sentimental?
Well written, though. You should do something depressing next.
I've got one called Those Bitches Want Me Dead that I was gonna post tomorrow, "Those Bitches" being the three fates of classical greek whatever... That's more angry, though... |
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Wow. I am so full of bull. Gre sprite courtesy of Spritemeister (all rights reserved) Oh, that's just Marvin. He's dead, so he kinda smells a little bad. |
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Orangey
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« Reply #57 on: October 24, 2008, 02:13:47 AM » |
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Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos? Should be interesting.
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"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
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Drakey
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« Reply #58 on: October 24, 2008, 02:16:19 AM » |
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Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos? Should be interesting.
Yep. Those chicks. I wrote the poem when the family farm was going out of business, I was struggling with my sexuality, and debating whether or not to hate my mother. I decided not to. |
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Wow. I am so full of bull. Gre sprite courtesy of Spritemeister (all rights reserved) Oh, that's just Marvin. He's dead, so he kinda smells a little bad. |
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Orangey
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« Reply #59 on: October 24, 2008, 02:19:16 AM » |
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Good to hear. I frequently debate the same thing.
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"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
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