|
Drakey
|
 |
« on: October 17, 2008, 12:14:08 AM » |
|
Disclaimer: One mention of religion, atheism, politics, sexuality, animal rights, abortion, or conspiracy theories and I ask Chris to lock this thread, unless you've managed to bundle them all into one post,m in which case I'll be seriously impressed no matter how offensive it was. I might also be lenient about conspiracy theories if they're utterly hilarious.
Okay, so this thread is about the stupid things people you know have thought.
I'll start off with my boss, Mick.
We were in the stockroom, and I was gathering cardboard boxes to throw in the cardboard crusher. Some of them come with a plastic film on them.
Me: Now, we're supposed to take the plastic off so it doesn't gum up the machine, right? (I'd heard this somewhere. Possibly the freakin' training video.)
Mick: No, man. It's fine, and besides, plastic is mostly paper anyways.
At this point I bit back a long rant about how I was surrounded by idiots, and, indeed, under the direction of one.
Plastic is derived from oil, and even if it wasn't, a stretchy plastic film is different enough in consistency from corrugated cardboard that the training video--god, how unusual--was probably right.
I still remove the plastic from boxes when Mick isn't in the storeroom.
If the machine ever gums up because of those films and they ask me what happened, I'm relating this incident, with the recomendation that they give him a couple of chemistry textbooks, or at least sit him down in front of the Discovery Channel at an opportune moment.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Wow. I am so full of bull.  Gre sprite courtesy of Spritemeister (all rights reserved) Oh, that's just Marvin. He's dead, so he kinda smells a little bad. |
|
|
|
Orangey
|
|
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2008, 12:18:08 AM » |
|
It's fine, and besides, plastic is mostly paper anyways.
I think you just broke my effing brain. I can't even think of any of the myriad dumb people stories I know right now. That's how devastated I am. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
|
|
|
|
Torg
|
|
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2008, 01:05:52 AM » |
|
Disclaimer: One mention of religion, atheism, politics, sexuality, animal rights, abortion, or conspiracy theories and I ask Chris to lock this thread, unless you've managed to bundle them all into one post, in which case I'll be seriously impressed no matter how offensive it was.
Jesus was a straight liberal who supported abortion. He didn't actually believe in God; he said all that stuff to cover for the aliens. Bam. Two sentences. I know I've heard hundreds of dumb comments this month alone, but after a while they just start to blend together into nothing more than a general impression of abject stupidity. I've got nothing. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of solving approaches zero. The idea of you with a tank brings fear like I've never known.
|
|
|
|
Orangey
|
|
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2008, 01:07:55 AM » |
|
That whole paper/plastic thing still has me frazzled. My hair is actually matching my demeanor; the abject stupidity of that comment has turned me into a cartoon sketch.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
|
|
|
|
Torg
|
|
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2008, 01:15:26 AM » |
|
It says a lot about America that someone who thinks that plastic is primarily paper could achieve a management position. It says more that I'm not all that surprised.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of solving approaches zero. The idea of you with a tank brings fear like I've never known.
|
|
|
|
Pixel Pincher
|
|
« Reply #5 on: October 17, 2008, 01:19:03 AM » |
|
I have one.
For the longest time, when I was younger like 4 years old, my dad had me convinced that he could un screw my bellybuttom and that if he did my but would fall off.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Orangey
|
|
« Reply #6 on: October 17, 2008, 01:19:31 AM » |
|
Oh, Meister. Tell the peanut butter story.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
|
|
|
|
Drakey
|
|
« Reply #7 on: October 17, 2008, 01:19:51 AM » |
|
PP, I totally believe that. Jesus was a straight liberal who supported abortion. He didn't actually believe in God; he said all that stuff to cover for the aliens.
Bam. Two sentences.
I know I've heard hundreds of dumb comments this month alone, but after a while they just start to blend together into nothing more than a general impression of abject stupidity. I've got nothing.
Doesn't count. It's gotta be genuine. Yeah. Mick's a prick. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Wow. I am so full of bull. Gre sprite courtesy of Spritemeister (all rights reserved) Oh, that's just Marvin. He's dead, so he kinda smells a little bad. |
|
|
|
Orangey
|
|
« Reply #8 on: October 17, 2008, 01:21:32 AM » |
|
I really wonder how words like 'pussy' and 'dick' and their synonyms became insults; as far as I can tell, they're largely positive implements.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
|
|
|
|
Pixel Pincher
|
|
« Reply #9 on: October 17, 2008, 01:24:38 AM » |
|
Ok, at Oranges request.
You guys now how when you bound on you chest and go dee-tee-dee its a retarted jock that some one is stupid.
Well one of my younger brothers friend convinced him for 3 months that it ment peanut butter in sign language.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Drakey
|
|
« Reply #10 on: October 17, 2008, 01:25:19 AM » |
|
That's awesome!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Wow. I am so full of bull. Gre sprite courtesy of Spritemeister (all rights reserved) Oh, that's just Marvin. He's dead, so he kinda smells a little bad. |
|
|
|
Pixel Pincher
|
|
« Reply #11 on: October 17, 2008, 01:26:40 AM » |
|
tell me about it. I just couldn't tell him the truth about it though. It was just to funny.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Drakey
|
|
« Reply #12 on: October 17, 2008, 01:27:48 AM » |
|
tell me about it. I just couldn't tell him the truth about it though. It was just to funny.
Natch. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Wow. I am so full of bull. Gre sprite courtesy of Spritemeister (all rights reserved) Oh, that's just Marvin. He's dead, so he kinda smells a little bad. |
|
|
|
Orangey
|
|
« Reply #13 on: October 17, 2008, 01:28:58 AM » |
|
Ahh, it's way better the way Meister tells it.
I asked him for a reason... '~'
Oh well. It's still flippin' hilarious.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
|
|
|
|
Torg
|
|
« Reply #14 on: October 17, 2008, 01:30:12 AM » |
|
I really wonder how words like 'pussy' and 'dick' and their synonyms became insults; as far as I can tell, they're largely positive implements.
My guess is that people focus on the negative aspects of the associated genders. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of solving approaches zero. The idea of you with a tank brings fear like I've never known.
|
|
|
|
SpriteMeister
|
|
« Reply #15 on: October 17, 2008, 01:46:25 AM » |
|
Ahh, it's way better the way Meister tells it.
I asked him for a reason... '~'
Oh well. It's still flippin' hilarious.
I don't think I've ever told the story before... I didn't even know what story you meant until Pel told it. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
ShyMeister's BPStore resources:
Masks: Biff mask, Shadow Beast mask, Shield mask, Poltaap mask
Weapons: Meister Sword, 2 attack fans
Housing/furnishings: Mana Tree
Pets/lackeys: wolf (Link), baby Yoshi
Bottles: 1 Blue fire, 1 Poltaap, 1 fairy, 1 chocolate milkshake, 2 empty
|
|
|
|
Orangey
|
|
« Reply #16 on: October 17, 2008, 01:47:54 AM » |
|
Really? I've got a vague impression of someone with a sense of narrative timing telling it... I just assumed it was you, I guess...
Man, that's gonna bother me all night now.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
|
|
|
|
SpriteMeister
|
|
« Reply #17 on: October 17, 2008, 02:04:08 AM » |
|
Pel might have had a sudden burst of eloquence because he was making fun of his brother...  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
ShyMeister's BPStore resources:
Masks: Biff mask, Shadow Beast mask, Shield mask, Poltaap mask
Weapons: Meister Sword, 2 attack fans
Housing/furnishings: Mana Tree
Pets/lackeys: wolf (Link), baby Yoshi
Bottles: 1 Blue fire, 1 Poltaap, 1 fairy, 1 chocolate milkshake, 2 empty
|
|
|
|
the Scarf
|
|
« Reply #18 on: October 17, 2008, 02:07:37 PM » |
|
Heh.
This one won't be very hair frazzling, but I don't really care.
The Twilight series is awful. I never really liked it, but I just couldn't stand some of the butt that was trying to pass itself off as fact. I couldn't believe that anybody actually thought that the information in those things was correct, no matter how popular they were.
Anyways, one of the main things that is constantly enforced is the incorrect mythology of Vampires. In the Twilight world, Vampires don't burn in the sun. They SPARKLE. (Like diamonds are embedded in their skin! *barf*) Now, I thought it was common knowledge that Vampires have BAD REACTIONS to sunlight. I don't care if this is Burning, instant death, permanent blindness, or even just Getting really sick. It's just one of those things about vampires.
One day, I was talking with someone who read the twilight books, and we got onto the subject of vampires. I was griping about the sparkle in the sunlight thing, and when I said that they were supposed to burn, this person actually stopped and asked me what I was talking about. I had to explain the mythology of vampires to them. They had no idea!
No appreciation for old horror these days.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
The sky and air are full of cancer and the ground is full of poison. Only the internet understands. |
|
|
|
Orangey
|
|
« Reply #19 on: October 17, 2008, 05:14:47 PM » |
|
They... Sparkle? I have a healthy appreciation for re-thought mythology, but... That's just kinda stupid.
This one is actually kind of cute; my mom's friend had a kid, and when he was six, he broke his arm. He'd never broken a bone, or known anyone who had, so he thought it was broken like a broken toy is broken. He was afraid his arm was going to fall off and his parents were going to throw him away.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
|
|
|
|
the Scarf
|
|
« Reply #20 on: October 17, 2008, 05:48:29 PM » |
|
That's really adorable! Except the whole, 'my parents are going to throw me away' part, but still... Awww... But yeah. The twilight books are stupid. I could rant, but instead, I'll just post this! |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
The sky and air are full of cancer and the ground is full of poison. Only the internet understands. |
|
|
|
MagicParakeet
|
|
« Reply #21 on: October 17, 2008, 06:11:05 PM » |
|
Let me take you back to the mid 90's. Oh what a glorious decade. The Soviet Union is dead and gone, we had a different war in the same Middle East, gas was cheap, and the president was a dog. But the real hype back then was Pokemon. I remeber all the BS that came from that era, everything from MewThree to Bill giving you a Togepi and Snubull. Elustrious.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Orangey
|
|
« Reply #22 on: October 17, 2008, 06:14:19 PM » |
|
Hah, did anyone tell you about Pikablue? Or multiple master balls without cheating?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
|
|
|
|
MagicParakeet
|
|
« Reply #23 on: October 17, 2008, 06:20:13 PM » |
|
I knew better. It was just funny to see other kids go ape$#!t over this.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Orangey
|
|
« Reply #24 on: October 17, 2008, 06:21:29 PM » |
|
Tell me about it. Even as a youngster, I enjoyed watching those with more hope than sense make asses of themselves.
Oh, and Scarf? I've been reading reviews of your terrible vampire book. They're hilarious.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
|
|
|
|
MagicParakeet
|
|
« Reply #25 on: October 17, 2008, 06:23:06 PM » |
|
I was also convinced poison ivy was stars. Boy was I a little idiot back in the day.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Orangey
|
|
« Reply #26 on: October 17, 2008, 06:25:24 PM » |
|
You mean star-shaped, or made of stars?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
|
|
|
|
MagicParakeet
|
|
« Reply #27 on: October 17, 2008, 06:28:32 PM » |
|
Both actually. Again, I was a little gulible whiper-snapper, eh?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
the Scarf
|
|
« Reply #28 on: October 17, 2008, 08:37:04 PM » |
|
HOly butt, pokemon. I never got into the card game, or any of the other games, but I watched that show like there was no tomorrow.
It's what got me into Yu-Gi-Oh, actually. Those were the days when we didn't have PVR to record everything that we wanted to watch, so I had to beg my mom to let me "go downstairs to watch pokemon and yugioh!"
She would tell me to finish my homework, and I would anxiously glance at the clock while rushing through my homework to get it done in time. I'd run downstairs (weather I'd finished it or not XD) and sit in front of the TV for the next hour.
Ah, those were the good old days...
Did anyone watch Cubix? I wasn't an avid fan of the show, but if it was on, I watched it.
I remember trying to make the robot out of legoes....
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
The sky and air are full of cancer and the ground is full of poison. Only the internet understands. |
|
|
|
MagicParakeet
|
|
« Reply #29 on: October 17, 2008, 08:39:15 PM » |
|
It's just a foggy memory in my mind now. There were a few other cool anime I used to watch before I knew what anime was.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
