DomanickX
Read only
Hatchling
 Offline
Posts: 145
I refuse...To fade away!
|
 |
« on: August 23, 2007, 10:11:07 PM » |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Solid Snake
|
|
« Reply #1 on: August 23, 2007, 11:40:01 PM » |
|
well this certainly is new...
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
PROSAI STUN GRENADO!!!!
Gamertag: Caboose089
|
|
|
DomanickX
Read only
Hatchling
Offline
Posts: 145
I refuse...To fade away!
|
|
« Reply #2 on: August 23, 2007, 11:59:24 PM » |
|
Why yes I spring for originality
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
DomanickX
Read only
Hatchling
Offline
Posts: 145
I refuse...To fade away!
|
|
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2007, 12:08:45 AM » |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Orangey
|
|
« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2007, 02:18:13 PM » |
|
The elements of Successful Webcomicry can, in my opinion, be summed up in three elements: Art, Semantics, Storyline. As a complete amateur with little experience and no basis for giving advice, here's my advice: Artistically: - The first thing to do would be to put your characters on the floor. Having them hover above the floor is a bit disconcerting.
- Next, I would change the text a bit. Use a color that's easier to see against the color of background you choose. Also, consider putting your text in boxes, or having different characters' words in different colors; otherwise, panels with lost of talking will get REALLY confusing.
- Speaking of the background, the one you've got is pretty dull and cliche. Consider changing colors, adding scenery, whatever. Just do some-thing to make things less... Grey. But, beware of making things too busy.
Semantically: - Make sure you punctuate, spell, and capitalize everything correctly. If you're not good at that sort of thing, then find some-one who is. There's no shame in having an editor.
- Your dialogue right now doesn't flow very well. Try to work on improving your writing so it sounds more natural.
Storyline-wise: - Unless you reeeally want to, avoid mixing srites from obviously different styles. Do some customs of your own, or commission some-one else to.
- I'd watch out for self-referential lines (like strip one panel three), fourth wall breaking, etcetera. It runs the danger of turning the comic into another Bob and George rip-off.
- Unless the entire premise of the comic is that he's the only one who knows he's in a game, or some-thing like that, I'd avoid self-deprecating comments like, "The chosen one... How original[.]" It just makes you sound lame, and, again, you start to become Bob and George.
These are just a few suggestions. Keep in mind that this is just constructive criticism. Feel free to take some, all, or none of this advice. Below is a sample panel: |
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
|
|
|
|
Silfedac
|
|
« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2007, 06:32:38 PM » |
|
Yeah...I know I'm not one to judge, but this comic isn't all that good. Some advice from my corner: If you're going to use a sprite that size, resize it some. Make it a little bigger so it's easier to see. Also, all of Sleepy's advice there is good. I'd follow it if I were you. Also, is your comic supposed to be funny? Because if it is, you're failing miserably, or at least you are in my opinion.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
We're talking about CROTCH BEARDS.
I don't want the world, I just want your half. |
|
|
|
Solid Snake
|
|
« Reply #6 on: August 24, 2007, 07:01:05 PM » |
|
maybe put a background?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
PROSAI STUN GRENADO!!!!
Gamertag: Caboose089
|
|
|
DomanickX
Read only
Hatchling
Offline
Posts: 145
I refuse...To fade away!
|
|
« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2007, 07:57:48 PM » |
|
Blarrgh is it really that bad? Im kinda new at this It will get better later on I have a drunk duck account that you will find the newer comics on http://www.drunkduck.com/sprite_gate/ |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Silfedac
|
|
« Reply #8 on: August 24, 2007, 08:19:51 PM » |
|
Yes, it is. No offense, of course.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
We're talking about CROTCH BEARDS.
I don't want the world, I just want your half. |
|
|
|
Orangey
|
|
« Reply #9 on: August 24, 2007, 08:31:44 PM » |
|
It's just amateur. With practice, you'll find a style that suits you, and become successful. Or not. It's pretty much up to you.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
|
|
|
|
SpriteMeister
|
|
« Reply #10 on: August 25, 2007, 02:39:55 AM » |
|
Here's an example of one of my comics. As you see, I have found a background that is neither too busy nor too plain, my text boxes aren't ambiguous, and the characters' feet reach the ground (though I didn't start fixing the problems with the shadows until my most recent, unreleased ones). Though I do admit I never edited mine, so I have typos and missing punctuation marks in them.  Edit: Oh, and this is a few comics in, so don't worry if the dialogue seems out of context. |
|
|
|
« Last Edit: August 25, 2007, 02:48:58 AM by King SpriteMeister »
|
Logged
|
ShyMeister's BPStore resources:
Masks: Biff mask, Shadow Beast mask, Shield mask, Poltaap mask
Weapons: Meister Sword, 2 attack fans
Housing/furnishings: Mana Tree
Pets/lackeys: wolf (Link), baby Yoshi
Bottles: 1 Blue fire, 1 Poltaap, 1 fairy, 1 chocolate milkshake, 2 empty
|
|
|
|
Silfedac
|
|
« Reply #11 on: August 25, 2007, 11:30:59 AM » |
|
Where is it?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
We're talking about CROTCH BEARDS.
I don't want the world, I just want your half. |
|
|
|
Orangey
|
|
« Reply #12 on: August 25, 2007, 11:50:56 AM » |
|
I can see it...
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
|
|
|
|
Solid Snake
|
|
« Reply #13 on: August 25, 2007, 12:46:47 PM » |
|
maybe word bubbles?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
PROSAI STUN GRENADO!!!!
Gamertag: Caboose089
|
|
|
|
Silfedac
|
|
« Reply #14 on: August 25, 2007, 01:28:33 PM » |
|
I can't see it! I want to but I can't!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
We're talking about CROTCH BEARDS.
I don't want the world, I just want your half. |
|
|
|
SpriteMeister
|
|
« Reply #15 on: August 25, 2007, 06:52:23 PM » |
|
Huh, I can't see it either (but I could when I posted it on Orangey's mom's laptop.) Okay then, I'll link it... What the...? It's gone from the archives! Fine. Here's another one. Maybe this one won't disappear.  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
ShyMeister's BPStore resources:
Masks: Biff mask, Shadow Beast mask, Shield mask, Poltaap mask
Weapons: Meister Sword, 2 attack fans
Housing/furnishings: Mana Tree
Pets/lackeys: wolf (Link), baby Yoshi
Bottles: 1 Blue fire, 1 Poltaap, 1 fairy, 1 chocolate milkshake, 2 empty
|
|
|
|
Orangey
|
|
« Reply #16 on: August 25, 2007, 06:56:46 PM » |
|
Now I can't see it on your new OR your old post...
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Now prop your lazy bones on those getaway sticks and shake a leg, mister! Everyone get in the flivver or this trip's for biscuits, see?"
-Hysterical Dame, MSPaint Adventures
"I'm fed up with this orgasm!"
-Stan, American Dad
|
|
|
|
Silfedac
|
|
« Reply #17 on: August 25, 2007, 08:26:02 PM » |
|
GAH! I STILL CAN'T SEE IT!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
We're talking about CROTCH BEARDS.
I don't want the world, I just want your half. |
|
|
|
SpriteMeister
|
|
« Reply #18 on: August 26, 2007, 12:27:46 AM » |
|
Funny. I can. Oh well, I'll just upload one. Maybe that'll work.
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
ShyMeister's BPStore resources:
Masks: Biff mask, Shadow Beast mask, Shield mask, Poltaap mask
Weapons: Meister Sword, 2 attack fans
Housing/furnishings: Mana Tree
Pets/lackeys: wolf (Link), baby Yoshi
Bottles: 1 Blue fire, 1 Poltaap, 1 fairy, 1 chocolate milkshake, 2 empty
|
|
|
|
Silfedac
|
|
« Reply #19 on: August 26, 2007, 12:32:29 AM » |
|
Okay, I see that one. It's much better than Dom's, but I don't get it. Is "lup" the punchline?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
We're talking about CROTCH BEARDS.
I don't want the world, I just want your half. |
|
|
|
SpriteMeister
|
|
« Reply #20 on: August 26, 2007, 12:37:09 AM » |
|
Oh, and this is a few comics in, so don't worry if the dialogue seems out of context.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
ShyMeister's BPStore resources:
Masks: Biff mask, Shadow Beast mask, Shield mask, Poltaap mask
Weapons: Meister Sword, 2 attack fans
Housing/furnishings: Mana Tree
Pets/lackeys: wolf (Link), baby Yoshi
Bottles: 1 Blue fire, 1 Poltaap, 1 fairy, 1 chocolate milkshake, 2 empty
|
|
|
|
Solid Snake
|
|
« Reply #21 on: August 26, 2007, 03:47:16 PM » |
|
Well might if we see the first one?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
PROSAI STUN GRENADO!!!!
Gamertag: Caboose089
|
|
|
|
Silfedac
|
|
« Reply #22 on: August 26, 2007, 07:50:55 PM » |
|
better yet, could you post a link to some kind of comic-filled archive?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
We're talking about CROTCH BEARDS.
I don't want the world, I just want your half. |
|
|
|
Solid Snake
|
|
« Reply #23 on: August 26, 2007, 10:13:15 PM » |
|
And would you please pass the popcorn?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
PROSAI STUN GRENADO!!!!
Gamertag: Caboose089
|
|
|
|
Silfedac
|
|
« Reply #24 on: August 26, 2007, 10:21:46 PM » |
|
Eh, sure, but it really needs more butter.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
We're talking about CROTCH BEARDS.
I don't want the world, I just want your half. |
|
|
|
Solid Snake
|
|
« Reply #25 on: August 26, 2007, 10:31:19 PM » |
|
what if i don't like butter?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
PROSAI STUN GRENADO!!!!
Gamertag: Caboose089
|
|
|
|
Silfedac
|
|
« Reply #26 on: August 26, 2007, 10:35:20 PM » |
|
Then DOOM ON YOU!
doom on you...doom on you...
50 Battle Pastries for catching the reference.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
We're talking about CROTCH BEARDS.
I don't want the world, I just want your half. |
|
|
DomanickX
Read only
Hatchling
Offline
Posts: 145
I refuse...To fade away!
|
|
« Reply #27 on: August 26, 2007, 11:10:17 PM » |
|
Ice age 1
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Silfedac
|
|
« Reply #28 on: August 26, 2007, 11:14:28 PM » |
|
nICE one, Dom. Fiddy Battle Pastries.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
We're talking about CROTCH BEARDS.
I don't want the world, I just want your half. |
|
|
|
SpriteMeister
|
|
« Reply #29 on: August 26, 2007, 11:32:02 PM » |
|
Sorry, no archive link until I find out what's wrong with the one that disappeared.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
ShyMeister's BPStore resources:
Masks: Biff mask, Shadow Beast mask, Shield mask, Poltaap mask
Weapons: Meister Sword, 2 attack fans
Housing/furnishings: Mana Tree
Pets/lackeys: wolf (Link), baby Yoshi
Bottles: 1 Blue fire, 1 Poltaap, 1 fairy, 1 chocolate milkshake, 2 empty
|
|
|
|
