#435 – Impaled
Posted on February 4, 2008 at 12:00 am by Chris
Chapter: Comics
I was helping a friend put up some walls in his basement and he was using a nail gun. He was having problems with the compressor. He partially disassembled the knob on the top that lets you adjust the pressure to see if he could figure out the problem. He put it back together and picked up the gun to see if it was working better. The adjustment knob then exploded and shot straight up into the ceiling… right where his face had been just moments before.
Tags
I hate when they escape. Chasing down oranges is so annoying.
Man, I hate when the apples escape. They’re tougher to catch and are meaner when cornered.
This is why I eat tangerines…..they really can’t get very far at all, not like oranges or apples.
Never, ever try for grapefruit.
It’s the pineapples you have to watch out for. Spikes. Damn.
Bananas are generally pretty safe, as are anything else that doesn’t roll well or have pointy bits.
That’ll teach those crafty oranges. Try to escape from me, will you? NAILS IT IS!!!
The Duck Has Spoken.
kiwis have a tendency to be escape artists too. it’s almost as if they leap from the wall!
I hate tools. They hate me.
I like oranges though.
Am I the only one here who saw Across the Universe?
I wanna see an overpowered nailgun shoot cans from 30ft away
@caitlin:
do u eat strait bananas? cuz the really bendy ones can run.
In the words of Mike Warnke (a Vietnam Veteran and former pothead who stayed weird so his kids would rebel and grow up normal) in his “What do weird people think is weird?” sketch…
“How do you nail JELLO to a wall?”
Uh boobies?
I’ve had sharp objects fly past my face at lightning speeds before. The relief is gargantuan…
that isn’t anything compared to horned melons.
patriots lost
Oranges are pretty hard to hunt down, but it’s the grapes I have a problem with. Those suckers can slip through a crack in the door if they had too.
Peaches are the really underhanded ones – they start all sweet, then go soft, and finally turn into real rotters. They *deserve* to be nailed to the wall.
Used to work with a buncha SeeBees. One of the nifty tools was a semi-automatic power-shot gun, used for sinking fasteners into concrete. You know – .22cal blanks behind heavy-duty nails? One of the guys modified the trigger so that everytime the contact safety was depressed, the gun would fire… Which was fine, until one day when nailing some frames to a wall, he hit a spot on the board where there was a cut-out in the concrete wall behind. That fastener went through the board, though the gap, and across the equipment bay, embedding in the brick wall 30 feet away! Fortunately, no people or equpiment in the way, but needless to say, much screaming and yelling by the Chief.
Oranges may be bad, but those damn pears are so squishy you can’t keep hold of them. Like MaskedMan said about peaches, pears seriously need to be nailed.
I’ve never juiced anything. Unless sucking the juice out of slicies of oranges count. It’s fun, you feel like a vampire.
When we were in junior high, we used to take pieces fruit out at recess (yes, we had recess in junior high), and then we would throw them really hard against trees to watch them burst. Apples were the best, and since I could throw the hardest, I was the star of the show.
Looking back, it was a stupid waste of food. But, I think most people look back at their 13 year old self and think they deserve a pretty serious wedgie.
i saw across the universe. and that was actually the first thing i thought of when i saw this. strawberries pinned to a canvas is very artistic
Your comics are making less and less sense to me. :/ Are you pulling internal jokes?
Ever been chased down the street by a mutated strawberry?
God, that’s the last time i dabble in the affairs of nature.
“I lost my poor orange, when it was time to squeeze it!”
Never mind mutated strawberries… What about Killer Tomatoes?! I can’t believe we’ve been debating all these lesser threats, whilst the K.T.s have been quietly sneaking up on us…!
We must defend ourselves!
We must arm ourselves with kitchen implements!
We must make…
…MARINARA SAUCE!
^ Or we could take them to the Heinz factory and get paid.
This should become ‘obscure references to movies’ week.
Yea,
all I’m gonna say is Across the Universe!!!!!!!!!
Back in High School Physics, we did these hands on experiments and one was to make an “automobile” for little egg people that would withstand the highest amount of impact without letting the people get hurt.
My group did pretty good until we did rear end collision [before we were just slamming them into a wall full of nails]. This comic, reminds me of that situation because one of my poor egg people, I do believe it was Burton, was thrown so violently from the vehicle, that he was impaled on a nail.
R.I.P. Burton.
DURIANS are the worst though.
hey now – bananas can get pretty frisky. i got a splinter from one that would not leave for three days. it hurt. but alas, those are the hazards of cashier work at a grocery store.
Here’s my flying object story. 7th grade metal shop, the teacher was demonstrating how NOT to use a center punch.
The tables’ tops were covered in metal, with a bench vise mounted at each end. He loosely held the punch between two fingertips with its point lightly resting on the anvil flat on the back of the vise. Then he lightly hit the punch with a hammer.
The intended result was for the punch to just fall to the table. What happened instead was the punch glanced off the table and flew arrow straight down the table, with the apex of its flight intersecting with the left lens of the safety glasses of a boy who was leaning forward to watch.
Fortunately the punch just missed his head as it pierced the lens and continued its flight the rest of the way down the table and onto the floor. He didn’t even get any glass in his eye. (Yup, they were glass “safety” glasses, not polycarbonate like modern-day ones.)
The teacher said he’d done that demo for 20 years and nothing like that had ever happened. That was the last time he demonstrated improper use of a center punch.
Oranges? I buy the juice from the store. As well as strawberries, blackberries, raspberries and blueberries.
Bananas are just as dangerous as cartoons depict them. In the early 20th century (1900-1930), banana peels caused many accidents and fatalities that it became the first thing that discouraged littering in urban areas.
@ Caitlin: Your comment reminded me of a quote from Simpsons.
*rolling fruit down a bus aisle, racing them*
“Go apple!”
“Go orange!”
“Go banana! …D:”
The Only dangerous bananas I know are the ones put through Dr. Bunson Honeydew’s Banana sharpener.
Hey, everyone!
What about the lemons?!
They’re evil, i tell you, EEEVVVIIILLL!!!
(but they taste nice)
Your story reminds me of when my friend first disassembled his Desert Eagle .44 Magnum. We all teased him about buying the big giant brick for going out with, well… we were talking as he was trying to put the action back together, and this giant spring goes whizzing right past where my head was before I leaned back in the recliner.
When it comes to oranges, I’ve found to little Clementines to be rather docile… they only run for a few feet before realizing how pointless it is and heading back to the fridge.