#350 – Migrate

I think all of my personal yawning incidents involve bugs or large chunks of dust. It’s always been something flying or floating, never a creepy crawly. I’m sure there are plenty of bugs and stuff that I eat all the time without knowing it. But it’s the ones that I’m aware of that freak me out. What’s the most horrible thing you have accidentally eaten?


0 thoughts on “#350 – Migrate”

  1. SSBMPichu says:

    Poor Biff.

  2. Delegate says:

    Biking + Going fast + Yawning +Bug = Bad taste + almost crashing

  3. Jerowaka says:

    Biking + Going fast + Talking + Bug = Bug in lungs + Coughing a lot + Almost crashing

  4. Far says:

    I ate a muffin once and when I exhaled smoke started coming out of my mouth. I was sure I was finally getting super powers.

    Turns out it was mold spores.

  5. michael says:

    i think the worst is what happened to biff
    it also happened to me :'(

  6. Stephen says:

    Long time reader, first time poster.

    Nice comic, I’ve liked it for a long time.

    I’ve had a pretty bad similar experience, I woke up with my mouth open and I shut it and heard a loud crunch. I didn’t actually see what it what but it felt awful and I think it was a moth. Nasty experience.

  7. A Captain says:

    Yeah, birds hate it when you yawn at them. They get all ornery and then, well, Biff was obviously quite shocked by the foul language they used to describe their displeasure.

    As for the worst accidental thing I’ve eaten, it was… actually it was intentional, but it was an ant. Sucker was bitter like you wouldn’t believe.

  8. Kim Possible says:

    Apparently the average person will swallow up to 8 spiders a year, most of them while sleeping. .. When i was little i nearly ate a garden snail… yum yum yum…. *Gags* Also one time, i thought i had nutella, (chocolate spread) on my arm, i licked it off… turned out to be dirt… wasn’t happy….
    ~God Bless~

  9. pieman says:

    this is the first one that makes me feel sick

  10. Foxfire says:

    Never had anything fly into / be dropped into my mouth while yawning…but sometimes I get the feeling my body is out to do itself in. I have this annoying tendance to choke on…well…my own saliva. >_

  11. Micah says:

    I don’t think so, Michael. The man has been decapitated and lost numerous appendages and phalanges.

  12. dragonbrad says:

    i have actually eaten som ones sneeze while yawning, they baught me a drink

  13. Bije says:

    Wasabi Jello. Worst part was that it took a side trip into my lungs first… >.

  14. Khasa says:

    Chris, you have an odd imagination.
    (or do you?..)

  15. MaskedMan says:

    Not directly in the mouth, but I saw the topside watch take a direct hit on his coffee as he was about to take a sip.

    It’s amazing how far a coffee mug will fly, well-flung by an angry man.

  16. soulofaqua says:

    I never get bugs in my mouth when I bike but they do like my left eye! and things I accidentally bit into was my own lower lip, while I was on the… scale for kids sort of thing my friend jumped of for fun but I crashed downwards and landed with my chin on the handlebars biting thru my lip and chipping of bits of my two upper teeth and destroying the roots… I will spare the surgical details

  17. Seraphine says:

    Yawning is rude. It scares birds.
    Birds notice everything, including
    the worm by your foot, Biff.
    It’s like everything, if you smile
    they won’t crap on you.

  18. Trip Hazard says:

    The classic “What’s worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm!”

    I bet my apple bite flew almost as far as the coffee mug!

    I can’t eat an apple any more without cutting it up first.

  19. Gobbledegook says:

    I can’t decide whether to laugh, feel sorry for Biff, or be grossed out.
    All three, I guess.

    I’ve never eaten anything (knowingly) that was still alive. I was once tricked by my nephew into eating a pickled grape at a russian restaurant, though. It was absolutely the worst-tasting thing I’ve ever eaten.
    I got even with him by slipping a pickled cherry tomato onto his salad while he wasn’t looking. It was my turn to laugh when he got to it.

  20. Diana M. says:

    a sandal buckle when I was was 3.
    God,my mom totally freaked out

  21. Wannabeelf says:

    i was sitting under a tree reading a book once and got bird dookie thrown at the top of my head.

    recently, my BF talked me into trying Calamari. bleck…

    but the worst thing happened when i was about 2. i don’t remember much of it. all i remember is watching my mom put a bowl of milky liquid down and thinking, “mmmm…. milk.” it was actually mineral spirits she’d been using to clean my white dresser. i’m told there was much vomiting and i had to have my stomach pumped.

  22. GreenTennisShoe says:

    I was about 11 the first time I cut the grass. Our back yard was huge, on a hill, and we didn’t have a self-propelled mower. So, needless to say, I was quite proud of my self for completing such a feet. As I waltzed into the kitchen and grabbed a glass to get water, I didn’t look at it. When I started drinking, I felt something between my upperlip and the glass. Turns out it was a roach.
    So, I get to say I have kissed a roach before. Yippee

  23. LydiaRaven says:

    I think Ii have managed to avoid swallowing anything really nasty, though there have been several incidents where i almost ate one xP

    Great comic ^w^

  24. Tinned Moron says:

    I used to eat gravel, plaster, bugs, paint and wood.

    I don’t know how I survived past age eleven.

  25. Daniel says:

    When I was younger I was running around the backyard in the evening after a barbeque. I went to turn around and say something to my mom and a lightning bug flew straight down my throat…I sat the rest of the night out.

  26. DomanickX says:

    I ate a lego when I was a kid…Scratched my throat up pretty good

  27. Imaginary says:

    For my last birthday, my mother made me an absolutely delicious chocolate cake with strawberries in it at various points. I had a slice on my birthday, it was delicious. There was no room in the fridge and because it was such good cake, no one worried about it sitting out. A week later I finally got around to eating another slice, the first bite tasted kind of funny but I kept eating, by the third bite I was chewing on a very, very rotten strawberry. In a moment of blind panic, I swallowed the strawberry… I will never forget that foul taste. >

  28. Kayru says:

    I accidentally ate a slug pellet. It was in our shed and bright blue and I was only little so I thought it was a sweetie. It was DISGUSTING.

  29. Nicki says:

    I’ve heard that the average person swallows 10 spiders in their lifetime. I so hate to think about things like that! πŸ˜› blech

  30. steam punk says:

    There was this piece of foam (from like a couch or a chair) that was laying in my basement for no reason whatsoever. It was dusty and gross so no one wanted to touch it or move it. So me and my brothers were wrestling around the basement one day and I got thrown down so I started laughing. I got up and slipped on the foam and then everyone started laughing even harder. So I was on the floor laughing my brains out when I decided to inhale to catch my breath. The foam was closer than I thought and it just vacuumed into my mouth and I swallowed it in like… 2 seconds. Everyone saw and there was this odd silence because we weren’t sure what had just happened. I tried to puke it back up but it just wasn’t coming back.

  31. Sam says:

    Fantastic strip, certainly one of my favorites. I love the usual surreal humor, but strips like this crack me up.

    I don’t think I’ve ever swallowed anything really odd. I’m sure I’ve swallowed bugs whilst walking in the delightful English countryside. The worst thing to go in my mouth was a piece of cow turd that flicked off a cows tail. Seriously, that was bloody awful. Didn’t swallow it though, threw up all over the place. πŸ˜€

  32. Lexi says:

    I’ve Inhaled a fly before. It got lodged in my sinuses and stung like hell for about 3 hours until it died. Nasty stuff.
    Never swallowed much bad, although Ive eaten a vase of flowers for a bet πŸ˜‰

  33. Trevor says:

    Well I drank from a soda can that bug died on that just HAD to die SO BLEEPING CLOSE TO THE HOLE. I’ve also eaten grass (on purpose) and perfume.

  34. Great Alien says:

    as far as worst accidental ingestion, Far gets first place.

  35. Cronyne says:

    Well, I once accidental swallowed a marble whilst chewing on it. To this day, I still think it’s somewhere in my body.

  36. Mort says:

    Worse thing for me was at a beach. Left a soda in the sand after I came back from a swim. I took a big swig. There was a bee in side. I was not a happy camper.

    2 thing that happen to friends. First was a soda can, my friend took a chug to find out that it was full ash and cigeret butts.

    Coffee cup on the kitchen counter. Someone was cooling bacon greese in it. My friend thougth it was coffee. So rember to look in the container before you drink

  37. Terashell says:

    worst thing I ever accidentally ingested was cat litter. I had fallen down in the hallway and inhaled to catch my breath and got a mouth/lung/throatfull of the stuff.

    Purposely? One of my friend’s bartending experiments called a Blitzkrieg… Jagermeister, Moxie, and NyQuil, equal parts… I remember the dancing squirrels and that Eyes Wide Shut had never been more intriguing… but that’s about it .>

  38. Zaisan says:

    One time, at work (i work in a restaurant) i had gone into the wait-station to get a Dr. Pepper. I returned, sat it on the counter, took care of a to-go order, turned around, took a swig of my soda–

    And discovered something kinda squishy between my teeth. I rolled the squishy, bitter, fibrous thing around in my mouth for a bit, thinking that perhaps it was just a piece of a maraschino cherry that i had been eating earlier. I reached into my mouth to pull out the mysterious food only to find that i had been sampling the flavour of one of the local houseflies.

    Needless to say, i almost IMMEDIATELY vomitted.

  39. Max Merenda says:

    um long time reader first time poster as well. a bird pooped on my shoulder but when i looked up i saw him get shot by a hunter so i had my revenge(insert maniacal laughter here).

  40. Pickles says:

    I’ve eaten perfume once. Naaaasstyyyy… Keep it up! These are hilarious!

  41. Trevor says:

    Eating perfume isn’t nasty. IT JUST BURNS LIKE *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

  42. Jess says:

    I once caught a bee in my mouth and without knowing, closed my mouth, and it stung me right underneath my tongue. Worst. Thing. Ever.

  43. Ryan says:

    I was at work, and I had just gotten off of lunch. As I go to the back room, I look down at my hand and see what I believe to be chocolate on it. I think “Mmmm, chocolate!” And go to lick it, only to realize not a moment too late that I had not yet had or been around chocolate that day.

    It was a very close call.

  44. Mike says:

    The worst thing that I’ve ever swallowed was probably because it was such a surprise.

    The first and only time I ever went paintballing was on a friend’s birthday. One of his cousins thought it would be “funny” to put vinegar into the paintball and shoot them at people while the game was being set up (I think the logic was that the skin would break and the stinging stuff would get in there). I was tying my shoe and yawning when a paintball broke on my kneecap and sent the entrails of the ball flying into my throat. Not happy.

  45. Paul_Emil says:

    Urrgh. These comments make me feel more ill than the cartoon does!

  46. MaskedMan says:

    I’ve eaten not just painball & vinegar fragments, but the painball itself. Direct hit in the mouth, in the days before masks covered the lower face – It busted on my teeth. Nasty, but not terribly so. At least is wasn’t a living bug or bird dookey.

  47. John says:

    Had a bee fly out of my mouth – not even sure how it got in there. I think it crawled into my mountain dew. I tool a swig, felt something wiggle in my mouth, opened, and a bee flew out. My co-workers all wanted me to do it again.

  48. MrShade says:

    I once woke up chewing on something. As it turns out, it was a fly, one of those big, gross flies. Very uncool.

  49. Radical Edward says:

    That’s why I don’t eat bagged snacks when I walk near the construction site.

  50. Ben says:

    I ate a ladybug once πŸ™

  51. BluwWaterDragon says:

    Ben: PMSL!! of all of these yours has made me laugh.

    I once made a Pot Noodle in the dark. I was sat quite happily eating away when something fiborous lodged in my teeth. I spat it out and thought nothing of it, until someone caught my Pot Noodle in a torch (flashlight) It was a crane fly. I threw up a lot and I now won’t eat without a light on.

    I’ve eaten some weird stuff in my time: ball bearings, glue, spiders, mud, and a worm that a friend told me was made of jelly, (Lying ****tard!!!). Still keep up the god work in proving that this kind of thing won’t kill you.

    And Smile, remebering that one day your enemies will be coated in bird ‘dooky’.

  52. Jenny says:

    I haven’t eaten anything especially interesting by accident, but I have a friend who have.

    He’s living with his wealthy, car factory working parents, right. So when he takes a container of orange juice out of the fridge and takes a big gulp he doesn’t have any reason to expect anything other than orange juice being in it. Of course it wasn’t, but you can never guess what it was:

    Raw pig’s blood! Ta-dah.

  53. Sh!nes says:

    Like Cronyne, I also have swallowed a few marbles…and I also think they’re still in my body somewhere… Accidentally, by the way– the ingestion was not intentional.

    By the way, Jenny- that’s disgusting…. Some of these things people are saying are utterly disturbing!


  54. snakeadelic says:

    My mom once told one of my boyfriends that I’d licked an ashtray when I was about 4, but I don’t remember it. I’ve snorted a few gnats during the fall when they make those big clouds, and I’ve guzzled a couple of ants in picnic sodas, but that’s about it.

    On a related note, my stepdad was once eating vanilla ice cream straight out of the box and scooped out a spoonful with a (thankfully intact) frozen mosquito in the middle of it. He noticed it way before he ate it, and we all had a look to make sure we’d heard him right.

  55. Kaikuro says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever eaten anything particularily gross. I’m emetophobic (look it up if you don’t know what it is), so needless to say I’m afraid of going too close to foods of that sort and I make it my utmost priority to avoid accidentally ingesting something odd.

    People keep saying that you swallow 8, 9, or 10 or so spiders in your life. This is simply not true. Urban legend. Myth. I also hate the imfamos “daddy longlegs are the most ‘poisonous’ (its VENEMOUS) spider in the world but their mouths aren’t big enough to bite” myth.

    Well, though I’m having fun trying to free up the world from the trap of urban legends, I can say one thing that I’ve accidentally done- this was probably the stupidest thing i’ve done as well. I picked a plum off the ground that had fallen from the plum tree and randomly took a bite out of it. And I KNEW that I would find a worm in it, so why did I do it being emetophobic and all!? I guess I was in a crazy mood that day. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a plum fly until that day. Weird thing is, it didn’t make me sick at all (again, I blame the phobia), I just got really afraid and ran as far away from the plum tree as possible. I still cut my plums beforehand to this day. (And every other thing…)

  56. Kaikuro says:

    (That, I forgot to mention, is the only gross thing I’ve eaten… should’ve edited the paragraph beforehand- just remembered about it halfway through that thesis of a post! :X
    By the way, new time poster here. Excellent Biff comics! I’ve always loved bald, clueless characters.)

  57. Elkian says:

    “Screaming is bad…..you have to open your mouth to scream….” NOT MINE.

  58. Fact Makerer says:

    Kim you’re wrong, most spiders avoid dank dark places like a human mouth, ever seen a spider in a bathtub? The same would happen in your saliva, spiders are aware of this.

    Also, worst thing I’ve accidently eaten was two quaters. Yes two. when I wa slittle I wa sbet that I couldn’t swallow and then regurtitate a quater, well I tried, but it just sank to my stomache, othe rkids sai di tmight of gotten stuck, so I should drop another quater in to knock it loose.

    Damn you childhood… damn you!

  59. Bullfrogg says:

    I was out for a run durring cross country season. There was a girl coming my way who was fixing her pony tail and her hair tie snaped and shot into my mouth while I was yawning. It was rather unpleasant, someone’s sweat in your mouth…

  60. Angela says:

    I had a bread roll once that broke one of my baby teeth.
    I guess that’s sort of horrible.

  61. LPP says:

    I can’t remember how old I was, but in the 6-8 range I swallowed a penny during my nap. No, it didn’t crawl in, I was sort of juggling a few coins, decided to balance one on my tongue, tongue snaps back…And it got stuck mid-way, horizontally.

    After I convinced my dad I wasn’t kidding, I went to the hospital and discovered that yes, it was indeed stuck and scarring my esophagus. I suppose it eventually came out, though despite rigorous observation on the parts of my parents there has never been evidence. Probably the grossest part of this story…

    Alright, want gross? You really want full frontal vomitrocious anecdote? WARNING proceed at your keyboard’s risk! …At an even younger age, I ate a giant turd. Stuck in my teeth and everything. Worst part is, I don’t know if it was mine or my brother’s.

  62. Kronos says:

    Army ration freeze dried Citrus Chicken. It might not sound that bad, but let me explain: we had it in the wilds of Virginia, and it was so bad that the raccoons refused to touch it and it killed a crayfish while the dishes were being rinsed in the stream

  63. steve-o says:

    My brother once swallowed his tooth when it fell out as he was sleeping. And my best friend once swallowed his pet snail. Yeah.
    He was about 5 and had his pet snail on the table next to him while he was eating his cereal for breakfast. He would eat cereal like this
    Step one. make spoon vertical and at eyelevel
    2. lower spoon into cereal
    3.make spoon horizontal
    4.lift up spoon
    5. bring spoon to mouth and eat cereal in spoon.
    So he was watching his mom and eating his cereal at the same time.
    His spoon , instead of going into the cereal, picked up his snail and he still did not notice. Only until he couldn’t find his snail that he realized he ate it.

  64. jeannegolightly says:

    I went to a party at a professor’s house. In the dining room there was a footed glass bowl, full of white ovoids, on a sideboard. They looked like the candy-coated Jordan almonds. I popped a couple into my mouth, and ran to the bathroom to spit out some black gunk. The white ovoids were infertile eggs laid by the homeowners’ pet birds!

  65. Kbman says:

    I can’t quite remember the most disgusting thing I’ve ever unconsciously eaten, but I think it was either bird feces, or grease (the kind you use in cars)

    I do know, however, that I swim in my High School’s swim team, and more than a couple of the swimmers have a dirty habit of using the pool as a urinal.

    And no matter how hard anyone tries, you will always swallow at least a little bit of water while swimming.


  66. AdmiralChaos says:

    thinking back about 15 or 20 minutes ago about my previous comment (airsoft gun in shoe) i realize now that i have been shot in(side) my mouth with an airsoft gun (this time from a rather long range, so it was more startling than painful). i don’t remember if i swallowed the bb though…

  67. Malvador says:

    A few years ago I was sleeping over at a friends house after a lan party and I woke up with a rahter bitter and spicy taste in my mouth. I got up, walked to the door, and spit whatever was in my mouth outside. At first I thought that it was some kind of bug that had crawled in my mouth…but I soon learned that one of my buddies had put a spoonfull of tabasco sauce in my mouth to wake me up…aren’t friends great? Not exactly an accident..but it certainly wasn’t my doing!

  68. Knofiman says:

    I sometimes get cramps when yawning. Quite annoying and hurtful, and I don’t need any animals or “friends” to do it…

  69. Pom Rania says:

    Ever eaten nasturtiums? We’ve some in our front garden. The leaves are okay — kind of peppery — but I really like the flowers. You know how the flowers have this thing dipping down on the bottom of them? That’s my favourite part of the flower, as it has the nectar in it and it’s rather sweet.

    That was NOT the gross stuff. What’s gross is that one time, at around the end of the nasturtium season, I bit into that part and tasted a slug. GROSS.

  70. JarkJark Binks says:

    Accurate little devils…

  71. CoinEater says:

    Two months ago, me and a couple of mates were havin’ a few cold ones, and one of ’em suggest, in our hazy situation, that we should all swallow a 50ΓΈre (It’s a danish coin, about 1.5 times bigger than a penny).. So we did; now recently we’ve all have had x-rays taken, and would you believe it, NONE of us have past the damn coins..
    Morale: It’s not just kids that swallow things for fun – adults are just as “stupid” when it comes down to it.

    BTW: First time poster, LONG time reader. (Felt obligated, since so many others have stated it) – awesome one panel comic!

  72. jykcor says:

    goldenthread. it is a small woodland plant that has a natural (but small) amount of asprin in it. You wont find any in a city, so you guys are lucky. i almost threw up it was so bad.

    Luckily, some wood sorrell was nearby, and i had that to get the taste out of my mouth. you can find this one in your backyard, and it looks very similar to “clover”. tastes just like green apple, but only chew the stems.

  73. Boumama says:

    There’s a short clip over on failblog of this VERY thing happening to a reporter. The reporter should have known better than to stand under a tree full of incontinent birds with his mouth open. He’d even already gotten a ‘warning shot’ on the shoulder…

  74. shlabalabadingdong says:

    Riding in a convertible, talking to mah peeps……. Turns out, mosquitoes like to hang out on I-95.

  75. Kintatsu says:

    Two grasshoppers, they weren’t that bad, actually. Probably could have used some salt, though. This was in my high school sophomore year, in biology. A year ago. Deliberately ate them. Whose bright idea was it to put biology right before lunch, anyway?

    Two day reader, first time poster. I read fast.

  76. Nikko says:

    Last halloween I almost tricked my friend into drinking a coke bottle of fake blood – luckily for her I took pity and told her right as she was about to take a sip.

  77. the_gail says:

    I ate a cricket once. But that was intentional for part of a competition at my college. And it had been cooked first, tasted like a pistachio.

  78. Alice Love says:

    A bird did that to my cousin on her wedding day.

  79. ThatSomethingGuy says:

    ‘Ooh, there’s some juice left in the carton.’ Suck on the straw. ‘Hmm, there’s some juice and ANTS left in the carton…’ As someone mentioned, Ants are bitter. Bitter and twisted.

  80. Jak says:

    My favorite so far!!!

  81. figgyleaf says:

    i slept over to my friends house once and he never has anything good to drink. so when i found a plastic bottle of my favorits juice in his fridge, naturally w asked for a sip. “sure” he replied. there were no clean glasses left so i decided to take a (rather large) swig directly from the bottle.
    spoiled milk.
    lovely ><

  82. fallloutg123 says:

    It was unlucky not his favorite juice

  83. YukiSnowflake says:

    (Slingshot + half-cooked sausage) + (Brother + Blindness) + my idiocy = food poisoning + ewww.

  84. DrNeverland says:

    At work we have this stuff, Spill-X which is a flaky substance used to absorb liquid spills. I had a hard time opening it and had the genius idea to use my teeth. It took me ten minutes of swish-spit-swishing to get the taste out of my mouth.

  85. DrNeverland says:

    Addendum: I also speedwalked to the restroom with my teeth bared like a rabid dog so as to not swallow it. Trying to explain myself without moving my lips proves I need to work on my ventriloquism.

  86. Gotora says:

    Live minnows, only it was kinda on purpose… yeah, actually, the slimy part of the fish doesn’t really have much of a flavor and thus, the whole fish doesn’t taste. Gets good reactions from people, though.

  87. -2! says:

    You probably won’t understand how this was accidental, but white erasers. On multiple occasions. Just saying this has gotten that taste back in my mouth. Need something to wash it out pronto.

  88. Handgunman says:

    I had a fruit drink that I kept in my room in a huge bottle, I sat down one day at my computer and took a sip, then realized there was mold floating on top of it.

  89. DaemonThanatos says:

    …sad to say, i got pooped on by migrating ducks when I was a kid…even worse, it was the same day my aunt “accidentally” burned me with a cigarette… πŸ™

  90. DaemonThanatos says:

    @Zaisan I feel your pain…except as a kid i was known as “Frog”. The reason for this was because i could catch a fly in mid-flight. I was dared to eat one once…hence, the nickname “Frog”. (i ate it for twenty bucks. when i was a kid, that was the most money i’d EVER had.)

  91. Voyager says:

    Well I’m afraid my only bug related incident was knocking a wheel off of my car.

    Of course there was that one camp-out where that one kid got stung by a flaming bee. That poor kid was just a bad luck magnet.

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