#207 – Movies

I have been going to see movies in the theater less and less these past few years. It’s not for a lack of quality films to see but the audience has been getting worse and worse. Why do people pay 9 bucks a piece to go sit in a dark room and talk about how crappy their job is. I actually remember when I was a kid there were ushers in the theater to make sure people behaved and to kick them out if they didn’t. If there was a theater that still did that in my area they would get all my business and I would see more movies in the theater each year.

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0 thoughts on “#207 – Movies”

  1. Warcrime says:

    Oh god…. i gotta love it. sometimes when im in theaters i wished i woulda thought of something like this. i hate it when this omne big person sits infront of you so you cant see the whole screen.

  2. Magdalena says:

    Cones are much better than real people if you just want to watch the dang film, I would normally go to a theater, only to be stuck near a few out-of-control children, and some inconsiderate guy who would put his feet up on the back of his chair, meaning I couldnt rest my head back. Thinking about it, I’ve never seen enforcers in my theaters so these people get away with murder.

  3. I am Satan, I am Jesus Christ says:

    Thats a really good idea. Biff is a genious.

  4. Fishgirl says:

    Hah! That would shure stop people like my sister lol Gold stars!!

  5. Chris says:

    Yay, gold stars! 🙂

  6. Dan Scannell says:

    I too refuse to subject myself to moviehouse crowds.

  7. Cheez says:

    Those people are extremely annoying. Once again, Biff has astounded me with a brilliant idea.

  8. Hunter says:

    Rofl. I would so like to try that!

  9. roadkiller says:

    Yeah, I really hate those people. That’s why I go with a huge crowd of like-minded people and take over an entire row or three. Generally, if we tell someone to stop something, they do out of fear of mob violence.

  10. FD42 says:

    Good points, I think the only reason I still go to theaters is that i don’t have a decent tv or stereo system.

  11. kenshin620 says:

    that’s such a good idea, you wonder why no one else thought of it

  12. Eleanor says:

    Probably because people would notice if you came with twelve traffic cones and only bought one ticket. Mob persuasion is a good idea though. That’s another thing to do when I’m legally an adult, cure cancer, become an astronaut, get a law made making “fairtrade” products actually be fair, find a way to market my designs, and open a cinema with ushers.

  13. Skips says:

    I recommend watching a late show on Monday nights…me and my mate are usually two of about six people there. We had a few more there last Monday, but they were really chatty. I love the sorta friendly feeling when everyone seems to be just willing to talk about the upcoming movie and other movies that have come out recently. But yes, Monday movie nights are good if you dont like seeing other people in the theatre…by the way I dont endorse this idea in anyone else…for obvious reasons.

  14. ninjakyrosaki says:


    I worked in a movie theater. Oh the joys of kicking people out!

    Primarily abused on those kids I went to high school with who were trying to round the bases with their girlfriends, I used it also on the crabby elderly who would take calls during the movies. If it wasn’t that it payed $5.50/hr I would’ve said it’s a good job.

  15. LordRetard says:

    This sounds like an awesome idea. I will have to try it and see what happens.=P

    I have to say, my biggest complaints about movie theatres are the seats. Well, the seats anywhere. ‘Specially buses. I never have enough room. My arms always have to be folded tight or lying on the seats next to me (this is why I hate arm rests, such as the ones in theatres), and if anybody sits next to me, I’m crushed.

    I’m not that big. Seriously. I’m still under 200 pounds.

  16. calan ree says:

    i have the same theatre complaints as the rest of you have stated. it was definitely worse when I lived in NY. I haven’t been to the theatre in ages as a result of annoying people and high ticket prices, but I agree choosing a late Monday show or a weeday matinee when normal people are in work or school. 😛

    one thing that hasn’t been mentioned is people’s tendancy to gravitate towards others. i hate when there is plenty of room and people sit near you anyway..usually behind you. It happens in restaurants, theatres, etc. It’s the same in parking lots. if you park in an empty section away from people watch how the next car will park right next to you. it’s bizarre.

    anyway, awesome, awesome comic, chris.

  17. Tinned Moron says:

    I’m going to do that, even if I get kicked out it’ll be worth it.

  18. Jake says:

    Want to know the most annoying kind of person you can have sitting near you at a movie theater? The kind of person (usually a woman, no offense, ladies) who laughs at a funny line of the movie, then loudly repeats it and laughs more. Then, if something bad happens, they go “Uh-oh!” or something to that effect with complete disregard to those in earshot of him/her. In a nutshell, I have missed so many important sentences because of those kind of people. At the local theater they have ushers again, which is a gift from heaven.

  19. jadestone33 says:

    I live in a remoteish town, and our theater is small, so Ive never had any of these problems. Usaly, the entire building has maybe 2 people in one of the movies.
    Tis awesome

  20. I am Satan, I am Jesus Christ says:

    wow jade i envy you. Its awesome when you have the whole theater to yourself. Thats only happened to me like once.

  21. prometheus says:

    LordRetard, I know how you feel. I’m getting a lot taller than I used to be, and when I sit in the seats on the bus, I have my knees practically up to my chin. I am also not the skinniest person, or the least gassy, so I have to have a seat to myself, or me and the people seat-sharing with me are squished. Also, there is a slight chance of them being knocked unconcious by the fumes, but that’s only happened, like, three times, four tops.

  22. I am Satan, I am Jesus Christ says:

    Lmfao. Thanks for the story prometheus. Made me laugh. 😛

  23. Knownimus says:

    I need to do this, I hate sitting next to perfect strangers.

  24. Lucretiel says:

    biff is a genious. What he doesn’t realize is that hes protecting the people who would’ve been in those chairs as much as he’s helping himself

  25. machine146 says:

    I always put my coat in the seat in front of me to make sure no sits there and blocks my view.

  26. dragonbrad says:

    has anyone seen gohst rider yet

  27. Seto Kaiba says:

    I actually didn’t need the cones once. I went to see the Ultraviolet movie and was the only one there. It was so awsome! But I love spending time in the theater alone. Feels like I’m freakin rich. lol

  28. Chryssta says:

    Not this last time I went to see a movie, but the time before that, my friend and I went to see Epic Movie. We were literally, the only ones in the theatre… no one else was in there…at all… it was totally weird to be that alone in the theatre. Least I could put my feet up on the seats in front and lean back, though.

  29. Jenna says:

    My local movie theatre has come up with the ‘amazing’ idea to host movie parties for mom’s and babies…

    O_O WTF! Babies wont remember the movie, and mom’s wont be able to enjoy the movie because of rowdy diaper-fillers!

    Such silly ideas

  30. Nate says:

    Reaction: That’s right! Good job!


  31. pieman says:

    i wish they had ushers here in england too

  32. Radical Edward says:

    That’s one of the many reasons I rarely see movies in theaters.

    Another one is everyone else is too loud.

  33. darkpheonix XIII says:

    Last movie I saw was Pirates of the Carribean 3, and it was packed. And the group of girls 3 rows back wouldn’t shut up, because they saw the movie before, so they were there to gossip and shnitzel. (I say Shnitzel instead of Sh**.)

  34. Rachel says:

    im usually the only person talking in the movie theater Amy takes me and my brother to.

  35. Ben says:

    Same reason I don’t go to the cinemas, unless it is a late night showing in the middle of the week and the movie has been out for a while already.

  36. Barret says:

    Someone actually threw their candy that they had been sucking on (when they weren’t talking) and it landed in my hair when I was at the movie theater.

  37. Kamorth says:

    Finally! An actually *useful* use for my colection of pilfered traffic cones!

  38. Murky says:

    y’know, when I really want to see a movie, I go like 2 days before they end showing it so I know there’ll be less people. besides, where I’m from, usually only groups of teenagers and drunk people behave annoyingly. once, these kids were snickering and talking and fidgeting behind me, so I turned around and hissed at them ‘I swear to God if you don’t shut up RIGHT NOW…’
    they did shut it. I scared them half to death 😀

  39. Jameson says:

    *sigh* im always the giant in front that pisses people off. It is a cruel world for us.

  40. emthegreat says:

    ahh… perfect. no annoying teens or toddlers to bug me while i’m eating my snocaps.

  41. pyrocat100 says:

    I wish I could do that at the theater. I hate the kids that always push at the back of your chair -_-.

  42. the Scarf says:

    When I went to see “Harry Potter 5” the second time, about a month after it came out, the audience was much more jovel than on opening night…During the kiss scene with Cho, one person shouted “Woo!” and another shouted “OH MY GOD!”

    everyone laughed.

    Also, a friend of mine goes to a small theatre, and during Spiderman 3, when He slapped mary jane, a little kid in the back loudly said “Oh no he di-int!!!”

    I don’t mind audience interaction, as long as its about the movie…the annoying people are the ones who talk about…like…thier job, or…kids…or whatever..

  43. Elkian says:

    …*lowers feet*

  44. Mouse says:

    I went to see the midnight premiere of X3, and there was a guy towards the front who was literally yelling at the commercials that play before the previews start, and after a few minutes he stopped. The workers turned the sound off to ask for donations for one of their charities, and the guy starts yelling again… with the theater manager right behind him. After a 5-minute discussion and a threat to call security, they literally marched him from the room, and the entire audience burst into applause. It was a special moment 🙂

  45. Deteramot says:

    I wish they had ushers in my movie theaters around here. It would make watching movies so much more enjoyable, because there wouldn’t be as many people talking. I always either sit in the back, because fewer large people sit there, or I sit in the front, because there can be no one in front of me. Last time I saw a movie, there was this girl behind me, and every time I shifted my weight in my chair, she would tell me to stop leaning back. I was sorely tempted to tell her to pack up and move if it was pissing her off so much. People just piss me off at theaters….

  46. Finn says:

    Gah, I went to see a movie (Wanted) in theather and last time when I did so was like… 5 years ago, atleast! And guess what? On my left side: A crying baby and a teenagemother of it’s. On the right side: Some really fat guy who ate popcorn so loud I couldn’t hear a word people were saying in the movie. And why in the heck there is a BABY there? It’s not like it would understand anything and it definately was not old enough to see that movie.

    Last time before that (five years ago) the theather was completely silent for the whole movie, and when it ended, people then started to talk to their friends what they liked about it, not in the middle of the movie telling what they like about the scene wich is playing now.

  47. Deteramot says:

    Yeah, those were the good old days, before common courtesy became as extinct as the Thunder Lizards.

  48. Soltueur says:

    I went to see Star Trek the other day. There was a bunch of little girls sitting behind me, chattering through half the movie, and running up and down the rows yelling in the break.

  49. Matthew says:

    I “accidentaly” stretched and samcked the kid behind me once. It taught him a lesson, and the rest of the movie was peacful.

  50. jenny_penny says:

    I work in a cinema and I have to say I think the mother and baby showing (or the Newbies as we call it) is a great idea. We leave the house lights on the sound isn’t as loud either so most of the time the babies sleep through it and the moms get to see a movie without having to find someone to mind their kid. A lot of new mothers can find it really hard to find the time to get out of the house.

    Also I’m from Ireland and we’ve never NOT had ushers. They don’t stay in the movie from start to finish but we’re about if there’s anyone causing problems. That said though, I’ve been to see movies where I’ve told the people behind me to shut up 3 times. Although that was more a reluctance to go ask a co-worker to kick them out and miss part of the movie in doing so.

  51. SurveySays says:

    we still have ushers at my local theater but they have skewed priorities. once they came up to me because i had unwittingly put my feet up during a scary part in the movie (scarythings live under all furniture) but completely overlooked the open cell phone in my hand. (My gma was in the hospital-i was awaiting a verdict- dont judge)

  52. Jenny Creed says:

    I can’t help but notice Biff is alone in the entire theater. What’s actually happening here? I think Biff likes sitting alone so much that he’s bought every single seat. (I always wanted to do this if I got unneccessarily rich.) And the cones I guess are his imaginary friends, who never talk over the movie but always listen attentively when Biff does.

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