#1093 – Ooze

I think a lot of companies have built up their warnings and disclaimers over years of experience to the point that some of them no longer make sense or apply to the specific item you purchased. Sleeping pills always warn you that they may cause drowsiness. Television manufacturers feel it’s necessary to advise you to not submerge your TV in water. They always make me wonder about what happened that made them add that one to the list.

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30 thoughts on “#1093 – Ooze”

  1. jackrabbit slams says:

    someone, somewhere, thought that their aquarium would look a whole lot better with a TV in it.

    “duuuude, we could watch that virtual aquarium DVD while it’s IN THE AQUARIUM. that’s like twice the aquarium, man! I’m freakin’ out just thinking about it, LET’S DO THIS!”

  2. SharkJumper says:

    Merely giving your TV a bath, though: totally OK.

  3. SharkJumper says:

    Dur, *shower.

  4. grapy says:

    count down till 1100 8 biff’s till 1100

  5. grapy says:

    hmm tv in bath bad idea melting sunglasses worst idea they are supposed to never melt in sunlight unless you are on the sun which i doubt you will ever achieve

  6. I’m glad my sleeping medication says it “will cause drowsiness”. I’d feel suspicious of it if it said it “MAY cause drowsiness”.

  7. Coyoty says:

    Well, duh… After you eat your TV dinners, you have to clean the sauce and gravy off the TV somehow. Sometimes you have to soak it awhile.

  8. woran says:

    If you wonder what happened to make those warnings, I suggest you read notalwaysright.com

  9. Obsidia Black says:

    Word of advice: Do NOT throw your ex’s TV out the second floor window when you find out she’s been cheating on you. If you must do so, try to make sure it doesn’t hit the sidewalk. The picture tube WILL explode like a bomb. I still have shrapnel embedded in the sides of the house.

  10. ver says:

    > “They always make me wonder about what happened that made them add that one to the list.”

    Well, Americans. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Most of these warnings are in place because someone thinks it’s OK to drown your TV or microwave your cat or whatever, then sues the manufacturer for not warning it’s an idiotic idea. And absurdly, wins.
    Another one of my favourites was when some cafeteria got sued because someone poured coffee over himself and lo, it was hot.

  11. Or on Pepsi bottles: Drink then swallow. I’ve been wondering about that one for a while.

  12. Baughbe says:

    Good Advice there Obsidia. A few more points for the public at large: Hairdryers do not make good jacuzzi jets substitutes; Attaching a kite to your cell phone during a thunderstorm is not a good way to recharge it; and finally attaching wires to your toothbrush does not make it electric, even though the sparks are pretty.

  13. soilent says:

    Caution: Do not leave stearing Wheel unattended while driving on the highway. This does include, but is not limited too, going in the back of this caravan to drink a cup of coffee.

  14. thunderstorm101 says:

    I’d think that, maybe, they were trying to avoid a lawsuit that hadn’t happened yet, but…some people really ARE that stupid…

  15. Daniel says:

    I once saw a hair dryer that said, “Warning, do not use in shower.” That is just so stupid on so many levels…

  16. Crow says:

    I remember seeing a swedish chainsaw that warned against operating it with your genitals.

  17. Nicky says:

    My favourite, Peanuts: May contain peanuts.

  18. The Dukenator says:

    @woran You should also read RetailHellUnderground.com

  19. ZeoViolet says:

    The reason why is because people would otherwise do stupid things with their appliances, get injured, and sue. So now most companies put extensive warnings on their products to legally cover their arses–they can say the customer was warned not to do this or that with said product. This culture is too sue-happy.

  20. Tasgall says:

    @ver I’ve seen the coffee suing case in so many places, and the summary always makes it sound stupid. But the original story was that an old woman got coffee at a drive-thru McDonalds. She grabbed it on the top of the cup (which a lot of people do, really), but the lid wasn’t fastened correctly and the coffee (which was WAY above the regulated heat) fell into her lap causing 3rd degree burns all the way down her legs, sending her to the hospital.

    Sorry, it just bothers me a bit when that’s brought up. Mostly because most people don’t bother with the full story, and settle for the silly summary.

    Oh, another case I like was when a bugler smashed a window to break into someones house, cut his feet on the glass shards, and sued the owners of the house for it… the house owners lost.
    Though, I remember them losing because the window (which was a skylight) wasn’t able to hold the legal weight requirement for skylights or something.

  21. GuyD says:

    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. However, I am not sure about the universe!” Albert Einstein

  22. Steve B says:

    My personal favorite warning label is the one on my mother’s old hospital cane… I can’t remember the exact wording, but it basically said that you should put your weight on it when using it. You also should not use if you have trouble walking and a variety of other things… Isn’t thatkinda the point of a cane? Let alone one proscribed by a doctor?

  23. Micah says:

    > โ€œThey always make me wonder about what happened that made them add that one to the list.โ€

    My favorite is that hemroid cream has the warning “Do not take Orally”. I mean, who first made that mistake?

  24. caffiend says:

    I think my favorite warning that I’ve seen was on a coffee pot. It said “Do Not Use On People”

    umm… really?

  25. hayabusa says:

    i like, and am disturbed by the one at my work on the trash compactors. DO NOT ENTER (really? i would never have guessed that it’d be dangerous to get in a big crushing garbage can)

  26. Dave says:

    One of my favorites is in the manual for lawn mowers. “Do not pick up lawn mower and trim hedges.” The sad part is the general intelligence of people lead companies having to cover themselves for societies stupidity. A mower manufacturer shouldn’t have to be responsible of someone loses their fingers doing this. Natures law of survival of the fittest applies to humans as intelligence and common sense. Some things just aren’t meant to be.

  27. Tulle says:

    “Warning: Swallowing nails may cause throat aches.”

  28. sadreally says:

    i recently got a kick-bike, it says that i shouldn’t jump with it, downhill with it, drive on roads, highways or streets with it and no stunt riding.. all of this i got to know when i opened the box cause it didn’t say anything ON the box.. only the paper that followed inside it.. x3 also i find bathing suit-cautions that tells you you shouldn’t use it for bathing, sunbathing or any type of bathing really funny.. i mean what is that supposed to mean… REALLY!?

  29. Tori says:

    My personal favorite of these sorts of things: I once purchased a pre-made pie from a supermarket. On the bottom of the pie tin were the words, “Do not turn upside down.”

  30. patrick says:

    What about the packages of razors that say Caution : Sharp.

    I can never understand why they need to warn someone that razor BLADES are going to be sharp. Isn’t that kinda the idea?

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