Now I want someone to make me a novelty floor lamp where the bulb screws into a fake bulb extension that runs the entire height of the lamp. When I had visitors I would pretend the bulb was out and in the middle of the conversation unscrew it as if nothing unusual was happening. When they finally questioned what was going on… “Huh? Oh these are the NEW new bulbs. Cost about 5 cents a year to run and they last 20 years!” When they point out that they must not last 20 years since I was changing one I would collapse onto the floor in tears.

Also, Look! It’s Biff’s 6th birthday! Woo! To celebrate all Biff books are just $6!