I used to love to play air guitar. I was flawless! The notes I pretended to play were exactly like the ones coming out of my stereo. Then I moved up to mid level yard stick guitar. I could do more convincing tricks with the stick, like knocking things over on accident. Then I graduated to the advanced level and started playing a tennis racquet. This was amazingly convincing because it had actual strings! Just like a guitar! Then I bought an actual guitar. None of my previous years of training translated at all. It was like I had to start over from scratch. I even discovered that I was air guitaring the high notes and low notes at the wrong ends of the neck. How embarrassed my stuffed animals must have felt for me.

Today’s Maximumble is in the oval office.