#986 – Socked
Posted on March 23, 2010 at 12:00 am by Chris
Chapter: Comics
I sold most of the books at the most recent show I went to. The books I had left would all fit inside my carryon bag. There was a little bit of space at one end so I filled that with two cellphone chargers, a camera battery charger, an ipod and headphones. When security at the airport put by bag through the x-ray a second time… really slowly… I figured this probably wasn’t the best idea. When they started unpacking it and swabbing for explosive residue I realized what the x-ray must have looked like with a thick solid rectangle at one end and a jumbled mess of electronics and wires at the other.
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good with a tattooed shirt for fast food runs
Tattooed pants might be a problem. Ouch.
That depends on whether you have male or female parts.
Hey, at least they didn’t decide to take you off to a windowless room for “questioning” and a cavity search, just because your bag looked a little odd.
I bet one of the worst things to go through airport security with is an RFID implant.
or a pacemaker.
This will go really nice with his rocket-tattooed shirt…
@Karen: If you think an RIFD is bad, you should try travelling with some C4 and a remote detonator! Those can cause really awkward situations at the checkpoints…
Seriously Chris, how can one man have so many incredibly wacky story’s to tell.
@Luc: I know, right? You want to destroy ONE little foreign monument, and you’ve got security on you. Never got to go to Paris in the end…
USA’s airport security is just a really bad joke.
reminds me of a time when I went to Sweden with airplane. I had a pair of scisors in my hand luggage. In Finland, it was okay since they were really small and couldn’t cut trough anything. But in Sweden, they demanded I had to leave them at the airport because I couldn’t take them with me. Now, what is wrong here?
Yeah, try going through with a leaf-blower or a weed-whacker. It so you can’t have a national lawn care service anymore (yea, these are illegal to take on a plane)
Heh! Next time, pack the books in white plastic clingwrap… That’ll make them leave you alone. Until the bomb squad arrives, at least… 😛
Biff’s tats musta huuuuurt… 😮
Heh, comics with feet!
Slick, Chris. Thankfully, I’ve never had any such experiences.
kekeke… i like that story XD
Morning funny, hahahahahahaha I have so many airport stories its not even funny! And as someone who has a tattoo on his ankle right over the bone, those “tat shoes” must have huuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrtttt
I’ve never met an airport security person that smart; the pinnacle of their train of thought seems to be “uh, you have some wires in your bag [and look kinda non-caucasian — OH, did I say that out loud! OOPS!]”
Right after 9/11, security at Denver Int’l Airport were stopping and frisking women with underwire bras. Too bad none of them had weed whackers then…
Hmm. I’m a habitual barefooter, and I’ve actually considered getting flip-flop straps tattooed onto my feet to avoid awkward conversations in grocery stores. I’d never thought about going through security, though…
I had a full, unopened gatorade in my backpack last time I went through the airport. TSA person asked me if it was mine, and I said yeah. She tells me I can’t take it through, so I ask her if I can chug it there on the spot. She said if I could completely empty it, sure, but she doubted i could.
She visibly paled after I did just that.
Security at other high risk areas is also ridiculous. To go backstage at an NBA game you have to go through varied amounts of body searches. My brother had this fishing vest with a bazillion pockets. “go right in!” I had jeans. They spent ten minutes frisking me in this empty room when they found I had this tiny pocketknife (The blade wouldn’t even open). My brother, I later found out, had this huge jagged knife thing along with a screwdriver and various “suspicious items”. Searches are not born equal.
And @AdmiralChaos, would it still be classified as a suspicious liquid after that? Someday I want to take a bottle of ketchup or something, actually dyed water with cornstarch, and chug the whole thing when they tell me to empty it.
Shortly after 9/11 in San Jose, California, we were flying out as a family when the security lady decided that my ten-year-old daughter needed pulled aside for extra screening.
Security lady didn’t speak a lick of English, just grabbed my daughter’s arm and started to yank. My daughter did what she was taught, which was scream at the top of her lungs when someone is trying to pull her away from us. Made quite the scene, and I jumped up and started pushing this lady away from my daughter.
The police had to come over to calm my daughter and I down since security lady could only do hand gestures. I was pissed since nobody had said one word to us about “extra screening” for my daughter, only tried to pull her away from us. Of course, police officer was about only one who spoke anything other than a foreign language.
Biff could have saved himself a lot of pain and trouble if he’d just gotten himself a pair of these…
@reynard61: But that’s not a tattoo. You get tats because they’re cool. Everyone knows that
@raynard61: I completely love mine and I am planning on getting a couple more so I never have to submit to runners again.
Many, many years ago before security was completely ridiculous my brother went on a flight with a backpack he had just scooped up off his floor and tossed a couple of books in. What he didn’t realize was that in the bottom was his prop handgrenade as well. There were no explosives involved but the thing looked real. So my parents get a phone call from airport security…
The long and short of it was that they let him catch a later flight to catch up with his class trip, though the head security guy kept the prop for a paperweight. I shudder to think what would have happened to him these days.
I have a rock shaped like a heart that I found on a trip with my grandparents. I carry it around in my purse a lot. On a trip I had it in (read: at the bottom) of a large, tightly packed purse that was taking the place of carry-on. It went through the x-ray and of course its a rock, they can’t see through it. So the guy had to unpack my purse to find this thing, taking out just about everything else in there. I was not happy because it takes ten minutes to repack. The best part was the look on his face when he found it.
My brother had an expirence when he was about 9, we were travelling over Christmas and he had to do a school project where he had to time how long he read every day, so he had a clock with a built in timer in his carry-on. That was one heck of a production.