#849 – Ring

I still need to get a door with a peep hole. It’s like Caller ID for your door. It’s much harder to close the door in the face of someone you don’t want to talk to compared to hanging up someone you don’t want to talk to. Maybe if I just stare at them silently while very slowly closing the door on them. That should be creepy enough to get them to not come back.

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34 thoughts on “#849 – Ring”

  1. GURREN LAGAAAAANN says:

    That would be helpful in stopping the missionaries.

  2. Sunie says:

    The less-determined salesmen will just knock.

  3. Ziggy Stardust says:

    My door is double-sided and HUGE. And the dogs usually scare off any salesmen as it is. They sound like a whole horde when really it’s only four. The cats have yet to have this effect on salespeople.

    1. extremist343 says:

      That just means you need bigger cats.

  4. jake says:

    i just pretend i’m really sick and try to shake their hands. then, when i invite them inside, they leave.

  5. Space Butler says:

    Aye, you’ll find a peephole is invaluable for filtering out who you actually open the door for.

  6. Miles says:

    The problem with a peephole is that when you look through them, the light from the peephole disappears ad the person on the other side can tell someone has looked oout and that there is someone inside. I used to have a neighbor kid that would come over and sometimes, I just didn’t want to be bothered. Of course, when he saw the peephole was in use, that meant he wouldn’t give up. Darn you Dylan!

  7. @Miles: That’s why you get a surveillance camera. If you shop around, you can find them surprisingly cheaply these days. (I live in the countryside where there’s no need or I’d get one of the ones with infrared illumination for nighttime use)

  8. the hoff says:

    HAH! now thats something useful. I do not think it would stop he Mormans in my neighborhood for long though. Theyd spot that ad think it some sort of challenge. seriously, I told them I wasnt interested and they went to my neighbor and actually got past her dog in the yard and moved toys out of he way of the door.

  9. If you really want to scare off salesmen just come to the front door in a butcher’s smock splattered in blood and look really shifty.

  10. MaskedMan says:

    I don’t need no stinkin’ peephole. I gots me a big, loud, intimidating dog. Only people who know me will stick around after she starts barking when they ring the doorbell. She’s a sweetie, but she *sounds* like death on four giant paws.

  11. baughbe says:

    Here’s a switch, when they come to the door, tell them you’re selling Amway for the local Mormon Temple (or insert other religious institute of choice) and you’d really appreciate them coming in and listening. If they still seem like they might actually come in, ask if they don’t mind spending the night on it.

  12. Great idea, Chris! Thanks! 😀

  13. JezMM says:

    Ha, one of my favourite biff inventions thus far.

    I always want to try and be creepy like in your example to avoid people at the door, keep my seat on the bus etc etc, but can rarely bring myself to do it.

  14. Croc says:

    Someone comes to the door, I just try to be creepily happy to see them. They usually walk away after about a minute or two of that, and I feel satisfied.

  15. MoosePhysh says:

    I was thinking that this might work well for those pesky kids during Halloween. The other idea I had was to put up a fake panel with all these lit doorbells and set it up like a Lights Out game and them film them to see how long they would keep at it.

  16. Raya says:

    Most of my friends/family members would never be able to ring my doorbell.

    Come to think of it, i don’t recall the last time my doorbell worked. Everyone has to knock, and most of my friends know this. But, it’s a pain for the pizza guy, because ether i have to wait outside for 30-45 minutes, or i forget, and he just sits out there for a while, before giving up.

  17. sco3tt says:

    As they walk past my gargoyles I like to open the door holding a beer, wearing just boxers and one sock, hair standing up at crazy angles. Happily, this is how I usually spend my time so there’s no prep!

  18. Kitsune Dzelda says:

    I tend to hate automated messages. Im all like “hi”

    “hello this is..”
    Bye. *hang up*

  19. Radical Edward says:

    The last time someone rang my doorbell, it was my mother, wanting to be let inside the house. Her hands were full.

    I hate when people come door to door. The last time someone came to my door to advertise something, it was from a church. They didn’t read the “NO SOLICITORS” sign we put in the window. I rudely walked pasted them and shut the door on them.

  20. Hershey says:

    My doorbell works a quarter of the time.
    People usually just pass it up and knock on my door. .-.

    1. extremist343 says:

      That’s more often than our doorbell works!

  21. reynard61 says:

    @ The Great Joe Bivins: Or in S&M gear…or in a full Haz-Mat suit…or in a bathrobe…and nothing else…

  22. Leinad says:

    hey, quick suggestion about the site. do you think you could add a “latest comic” button or somesuch? it would make it a lot easier to keep up with the comic.

    Brilliant comic, btw. completely nonsensical, but ridiculously hilarious.

  23. edelstahl says:

    @Leinad There’s an RSS link at the very bottom of the page.

  24. Crimson_regret says:

    I could get in. =)

  25. Miles says:

    We actually have some security gear like that from a few years ago, black and white camera and monitor and such, but it’s not wireless, and it was an apartment. As it was I was often about to take a bath when people would come over so I’d answer in a towel. I didn’t intend to make them uncomfortable, it was just a bonus. Though the people that didn’t would worry me.

  26. ZipZip509 says:

    I’ve been reading your comic for a while now and it occurs to me that I’ve never posted or anything… this is inexcusable! Biff’s oddities and antics always make me smile and I always look forward to the ‘new one’. Keep on with the awesome!

  27. -2! says:

    I would think a good way to scare a door to door would be to come to the door in a dirty lab coat wearing goggles and say you need them for an experiment!

    Come to think of it wearing any lab coat and goggles would probably be enough…

  28. Linzleh says:

    I have done delivery work for a major shipper and believe me people answer the door in everything or nothing…Biff those of us trying to get packages off the truck will just knock and then carefully leave your stuff on the porch; no interaction generally needed.

  29. Ay says:

    http://www.sheldoncomics.com/archive/051116.html

    for those of you on do not call list ^ get kick of out that.

  30. Mercy says:

    I just pretend I can’t speak English.

  31. Sigurdgram says:

    what you do to people who come to your door that you don’t want to deal with is invite them in, tell them to sit down, and just start watching tv. give them a loud, angry “SHUSH!” every time they start to talk, implying the tv is more important. they may think you’re a self-centered goit, but they’ll also feel stupid for having wasted time at your house.

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