#772 – Android
Posted on May 27, 2009 at 12:00 am by Chris
Chapter: Comics
Caffeine is still my mood enhancer of choice. I’m sometimes kind of embarrassed at what a difference it makes. I go from crabby to happy in about 30 minutes. The only problem I have is that when I’m crabby I don’t want any caffeine because I don’t want to be happy. Maybe in the future I’ll have a little device implanted that releases happy juice on a set schedule whether I want it or not. I imagine I’ll be perfectly happy with that.
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That’s what happens when you don’t make toast often enough…..
He needs to plug that toaster in. Lol good one today Chris.
I don’t think the toaster has been plugged in since April…
And an automatic caffeine injection device, that would be so cool…
TO THE LAB!!
Equipment failure week?
It is HitchHiker’s Guide To The Galaxy Week.
Think about it. Marvin the “Paranoid” Android (actually he was beyond suicidally depressed. The Thumb, Getting sucked out of airlocks, and the Dent (Arthur DENT).
Heck Yeah, Chris.
This reminds me of the old tabletop game, ‘Paranoia’?
“The computer is your friend! Happiness is mandatory. … You are… ‘happy’, aren’t you?”
I’ve never seen a single slice toaster. Maybe he’s lonely.
I recently lost a toaster to depression so this really hits home. Hopefully Biff can react in time, save his electric kitchen aid and continue to enjoy slightly cooked bread for years to come.
Single-slot toasters are common enough – often made especially for toasting bagels. My mother has one.
Back when I was still operating nuc plants on submarines, I could down four whole pots of nasty, thick, engineroom brew in a six hour watch, all by myself.
That much coffee (and caffine) does bizzare things to one’s body chemistry and outlook… Took me years afterwards to get back down to two cups o’ joe a day.
What a freaky coincidence, I just got a prescription for Effextor XR.
i often wonder if i am the only one who finds it strange that we have an entire culture where stimulant addiction is not only accepted, but expected for normal people.
That’s what happens when you don’t make toast often enough…..
I’m with CiananPuckett on this. I thought it was HHGttG yesterday, too.
“Life? Don’t talk to me about Life.”
Is the toaster named Marvin by any chance?
No it’s name is Talkie the Toaster he must be depressed after Biff removed his voice modulator LOL
I firmly believe Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is one of the best series I have ever read.
The toaster is TOASTERSNAKE, although for this I think Marvin would be more appropriate.
If you want happy juice, place your favorite songs on your Ipod (nothing whiney or about love. Give You Hell is a good starter), open the curtains to let in some natural light and draw. An artistic high is AWESOME.
The toaster was created by Sirius Cybernetics Corporation who are a bunch of mindless jerks who’ll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.
Interesting…toaster with bread stress, hot/cold emotions, trauma of getting your buttons pushed, perhaps just a crumby life…Yikes, Biff has got an appliance with some serious issues and apparently it is teleporting itself to a psycho-toastalyst. Break out the tea and sit down for a long chat, pop tarts and maybe some polishing…
Linzleh — I like the effort.
Chris — Awesome.
….Until that system goes Terminator on you and releases enough caffine to stop your heart
Your happy juice injector is very Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep-esque.
Sometimes it comes to this when your toaster feels unwanted. You get that nice new iphone that does everything and makes you neglect the ones you love!
By the way, what do people think of my picture?!?!
J – No, you’re not the only one. I refuse even aspirin unless I’m really in pain. Of course, I drink lots of caffeine (Mt. Dew & coffee, though not together) with barely a thought to the irony of it all…
Tigergulp, I agree completely. I often refer to the techno part of my music collection as ‘audio caffeine’. And the heavier rock, some of the hip-hop… Never the reggae or Laurie Anderson though. That’s ‘audio pot’! Amazing the range of feelings you get through your music.
@Matt Lee
It makes me want to sing the Doom Song now!
I’m on medicine and I find it funny that his machines are acting weird.
Besides, I could always take a look into the medicine cabinet and count out pills for my pill organizer.
Biff and his toaster are….depressed?
Lawl, Poor SnakeToaster. Hes been neglected lately.
But why would Biff need antidepressents? He shouldn’t be depressed! Nearly everyday something exciting happens to him!
Although, Its almost never good for his health. .-.
@ J; Thane of Eurmal:
Where have you guys been? Humankind has been downing mind- and body chemistry-altering substances for as far back as we can identify. Even the ancient mummies in the Peruvian Alps have been found with mind-altering substances on their persons. Getting a little ‘chemical assistance’ is as central to being human as it’s possible to be.
Oddly, caffeine doesn’t have much effect on me unless it’s a HUGE amount, which my friends don’t allow me to have.
I thought it was going to be ‘Biff finally realized he had a problem when the toaster held an intervention’
Did Biff buy the toaster from “Red Dwarf” at a yard sale?
Neither caffeine, aspirin, nor alcohol seems to have any effect on me unless they’re in dangerously high does. On the other hand, novocaine gives me a bad acid trip, but no dentist will work on me without it even though I have an extreme pain tolerance and could probably take it. which makes going there *really* not fun.
Biff’s toaster is on antidepressants to save energy. Whenever he presses the button down to make toast, it lights up with a friendly warning:
Do not press this button again.
Howdy-doodly-do! I’m Talky, Talky Toaster, your chirpy, breakfast companion!
Jesus! Thats a really big toaster opening. His waffles and bagels must be huge.
Caffeine Not so much, it’d be best to have a dose of endorphins and adrenaline for a natural caffeine effect without being bad for you. The trick would be getting some of each person’s natural endorphins and adrenaline to reproduce so that the body doesn’t reject it. And lastly it would be equipped with a “Turbo” button, Using up alot of the adrenaline in the device to give you an extra boost for a task that required more speed or strength than you normally possess.