We had a weird old pet store in my neighborhood when I was a kid. My friends and I would stop in there frequently and browse around when we were bored. The star attraction was the owner’s pet monkey Sputnik. There was a hand lettered sign on the wall next to him explaining where the name came from along with a drawing of the satellite flying through space and the warning “I bite.” There was also a big metal bathtub in the back of the store that always had 20 or 30 little white mice running around the bottom of it. I liked to lean over the edge and watch the never ending ripples of motion as they continuously climbed over one another. I went to that store for years before someone explained the horrific meaning behind the sign over the bathtub that read “Feeder Mice.”

Happy birthday to me! What’s that? You would like to get me something for my birthday? Order something from the store and make us both happy!