#434 – Fracture

I like peanut brittle. I’ve had lots of different variations. Some taste more sweet, some are more… smokey? Like just a touch of burned flavoring. The one thing that they all have in common is that it feels like I’m ruining my teeth. It turns into a sugary cement-like substance and clings to every nook and cranny in my teeth. They need to create some sort of acid that is linked to your DNA so that you could use it as a mouthwash and it would only dissolve foreign particles in your mouth and not melt your face.

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0 thoughts on “#434 – Fracture”

  1. Corey says:

    I seem to spend twice as much time picking peanut brittle out of my teeth than I spend actually eating it, haha.

  2. Micah says:

    Yay! More Biff pain.

  3. the Scarf says:

    I have braces, so it’s a million times worse for me…

    I like the DNA acid though, you should make it. (somehow)

  4. PsychoDuck says:

    And you thought the pennies in the water tank were bad.

    The Duck Has Spoken.

  5. Heinrich says:

    hey maybe if biff ever makes an enemy, he could make some peanut brittle, too. for them.

  6. PsychoDuck says:

    For the sake of the denizens of Balloon Planet Alpha, I hope they never cross Biff.

    The Duck Has Spoken.

  7. Seraphine says:

    LOL, you made me laugh again.
    You rock.

  8. Halceon says:

    Actually there is such a substance. It’s called saliva. Not quite effective, but that’s the price for not dissolving your teeth.

  9. LazerWulf says:

    My brother-in-law is allergic to nuts, so every year my Gra’ma makes him Coconut Brittle. It’s actually quite good.

  10. pieman says:

    whats peanut brittle?
    i have no idea what it is.

    the dog says “moo!”

  11. Karen El says:

    I detect a thematic link in this week’s episodes.

  12. Thom says:

    whats with the marathon of dessert comics? and why does biff change the colour of his kitchen wall ever–

    oh because everything explodes on it yea. Well then why does he have so many near-copies of that same picture?

  13. Thom says:

    and if it’s a window why does he have such an unobstructed view? did all his neighbours move b/c of the constant explosions?

  14. Imaginary says:

    Conceivably possible, it would just be like your saliva but super charged. Of course it would have to be perscription, each one made specifically for the person using it. It would be awesome for people with braces or people with fillings (like me), but probably expensive as hell too…

  15. Steve from Accounting says:

    This brings up a question. Has Biff ever opened his mouth to eat?

  16. Elle says:

    Oh man, I love peanut brittle! Except whenever I eat any American candy with peanuts in it, it’s very salty. Is that just an American thing? Because the peanut candy here is very sweet.

  17. Gobbledegook says:

    Oh, peanut brittle, my ancient nemesis.
    You are as delicious as you are dangerous…

    Has anyone ever heard of cashew brittle? I wonder if it even exists…

  18. Godathon says:

    The peanut brittle one of my friends got over the holidays was amazing.
    I don’t like peanut brittle to begin with, but I just couldn’t stop eating it!
    And to make things better, it didn’t stick to my teeth at all.

  19. Parker says:

    I wonder if anyone’s ever made just brittle.

    Like peanut brittle, but with no peanuts.

    I think I’d get huge if anyone ever made me some.

  20. kenshin620 says:

    …this seems familiar…oh yeah, Biff had a lot of food on him. His shower drain must be a monster to handle it all.

  21. nikie says:

    muaha, i first looked at this and thought “peanut brittle!” right before i scrolled down to see the narration. i felt quite clever 😉

  22. Kitty says:

    Bah, that’s easy. Just swoosh some enzymes around your mouth to degrade the sugars, and then follow it with alcohol to denature the enzymes so it doesn’t start eating your internal organs ^_^

    Biff should send me some peanut brittle. I’m having a bad day, and exploding candy is always humorous

  23. Chris says:

    @Gobbledegook – I had some cashew brittle just a few weeks ago.

  24. Aytug says:

    Linking it to DNA would do nothing to all the parts of the cell that are mere chemicals, you would want something more like and antibody that wouldn’t touch your own cells and destroy everything else (Yes, that’s what an antibody essentially is) but… but… I just loved that logic! ‘Cause that’s an actual approach used in science and tech, and as far as I can see from your comments, you don’t have a science background. Big congratz! 😀

  25. Chris says:

    @Aytug – Haha, well the little blog comments that I write are usually the last thing I do before getting ready for bed. So I’m usually half asleep already when I write them.

  26. Canidlover says:

    If you make your own, add 1 tsp baking soda – it will make the brittle even MORE brittle and it will dissolve in your mouth more easily without getting in between your teeth.

    OTOH, if you add too much, you’ll have a result like what is pictured today.

    Want a great recipe for microwave (pea)nut brittle? eamail me at adenning@wi.rr.com . . .

  27. MaskedMan says:

    What happens if your girlfriend accidentally uses *your* acid-mouthwash? Face-meltingly bad idea!

    So why am I giggling..?

    I bet Biff would try making it, anyway…

  28. Snail says:

    As a geek taking chemistry and biology (heh), I’m pretty sure that DNA acid ain’t possible, sadly 🙁
    However, there’ll be some enzymes that’d break it down… *mutter scheme mutter*

  29. SEA says:

    Lol…that is some nasty brittle =)

  30. CondorTalon says:

    I like how in all the comics from #430 to this one were basically Biff standing over a kitchen table with food on it.

  31. Silfedac says:

    The acid thing would be good for people like me, who eat excessive amount of things like popcorn, jerky, taffy, and rock candy. Especially since I have braces now.

  32. Amanda says:

    But… for those who have braces, wouldn’t the acid melt the braces since they’re not part of you and don’t have your DNA?

  33. SleepingOrange says:

    Guys, all you need (or could) do is get some sucrase, glucase, and fructase, and suspend them in water. Take a mourthful, wait a few moments, and spit/swallow. There’s no danger invloved, since enzymes are substrate-specific, and it’s generic enough that anyone could use it! Lactase is already commercially available, so a few other sugar-lysers shouldn’t be too hard to get ahold of.

  34. speearr says:

    Hehe this reminds me of the time he fought with the nachos…

  35. dragonbrad says:

    love penut brittle

  36. pieman says:

    WHAT THE HELL IS PEANUT BRITTLE?!

  37. Reg says:

    The only peanut brittle I know is the kind that’s spring loaded with snakes…

  38. Laminack says:

    Did anyone happen to notice that the brittle was also sticking out of the black box border of the comic?

  39. Ecko says:

    My mom makes the best peanut brittle around christmas time and I always gorge myself on it. I sometimes wonder if parts of my teeth chip off as I am chewing it because that’s what it feels like at times. But it’s oh-so-good and I can never stop eating it. >

  40. MasterMenthe says:

    I despise (mostly) peanut brittle. The aftertaste is yucky and my teeth feel like they are rotting on the spot. Just like my I.Q. and Spongebob *shudder*.

    Pieman:

    Peanut brittle = solidified, sugary stuff that breaks rather easily, but makes REALLY sharp edges [my throat took a while to recover ;( ]. It’s like solidfied peanut butter with nuts in it or something. It can be ridiculously fragile, or can stop a bullet (figuratively) depending on the mixture you used.

    Heinrich:

    Biff is his own worst enemy and bestest friend, remember? Besides, Biff’s house probably spontaniously combusts according to the RNG (random number generator) Biff installed on the nuclear fusion core control system in the basement, so I doubt anyone would DARE try to attack BIFF of all people. All they need to do is sit back and watch the show as Biff tries to calm his feral buzz-saws w/Gopher DNA as they attack his poor bologna trees.

    Now that’s crazy…

  41. Shadow says:

    I never make brittle with nuts, or legumes as peanuts are.

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