#361 – Scorch
Posted on October 23, 2007 at 12:00 am by Chris
One of the first cars that we had with the remote unlock feature had a few extra buttons on the keychain. The one that I hated the most was a button marked “panic.” It was aptly named. I would be exiting the car and stepping into a crowded parking lot and accidentally hit “panic” instead of “lock.” I would immediately panic, looking for the car that was honking at me because their breaks were out and they were about to crash into me.
Book news! The printing is scheduled to be complete by the 31st then it should take 5-8 days to pack them up and truck them to my door. So they should be in my hands in about 2 weeks!
Shirts! I’m happy to announce the first Biff shirt! For the next 2 weeks I’ll be taking orders for the Biff smiley shirt, then the order will be placed and the shirts produced. As a special thank you to everyone that has supported the book project if you order a shirt before November 4th I’ll add the shirt to your book order and you won’t have to pay any additional shipping charges.
Was that his invisible car?
What kind of car splatters purple? I want one!!!!
At least he kept his eyebrows this time.
@ KayRis:
None. It was a giant grape with a steering wheel and leather interior.
The Duck Has Spoken.
dude… if there’s a grape that big with a self destruct button and a volume control, i want one.
Biff has far too many strange gadgets. Was he a spy at one point?
lol famus last words: “Oh come on, do you really think they’d put the self destruct button out in the open where anyone could press it?”
why even have a self destruct, right
BIFF SHIRTS!!!! WOOHOO!!!!
sorry, I’m really excited.
*switching to decaf*
Biff’s car is still better than my brother’s. He has a “crash” feature somehow cunningly built into the volume control. Now his wife won’t let him drive with the radio on.
Evil Overlord Rule #9:
“I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled “Danger: Do Not Push.””*
Biff is obviously not an Evil Overlord – Minon, at best.
*http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
I was hoping Biff would have learned
from the Eject button fiasco that he
needed to color code his selections.
What’s purple and goes “slam slam slam slam vroom SPLAP!” ?
A four-door sports grape with a self-destruct button too close to the radio volume control!
Happens to me all the time.
Damn selfdestruct button!
Now now, Mask. We don’t know what the self-destruct button looked like. It might have been labeled “defrost”, after all. 😀
but dude, I want a car that splatters purple too!
Well at least it wasn’t his stain glass car…actully, more harm to others rather than him, he would just be surrounded by pretty colored glass
“Blaze,” “Scorch”…do you happen to live in Southern California? Because that pretty much sums up where I live at the moment.
Indeed. The next comic should be entitled “Black Lung” or some such.
I wonder if he had insurance? That would be one heck of a premium!
Do they sell giant drivable grape insurance? I better call my insurance broker…
The Duck Has Spoken.
The problem with owning a “giant grape with a steering wheel and leather interior” is that it tends to whine.
buzzardo, that was painful….
=D
Ow, Buzzardo. Just… Ow.
The Duck Has Spoken.
yo he PLACED the buttons?
so he must have made his own giant grape and put in the leather interior himself
😮
WOW.
…Reminds me of my dad. The volume in his new car is in the place where the gas was on his old car so we’ll be driving down the road and he’ll try to work the gas and all of a sudden my ears will start to bleed from Jack Johnson on at full blast.
is it me, or has nobody posted about his eyebrows? i thought they got burned off from that coffee
I wouldn’t worry about Biff. That clearly wasn’t his green invisible car (#44), it has his purple invisible car. I wonder how many invisible card Biff has?
Fan request – In the next one, can you show all of Biff’s remaining invisible car collection? That would be so cool.
His invisible car collection is in all of the comics, duh!
Wow. That is the hardest I’ve laughed at Biff in the longest. Good stuff.
I guess this is another thing to avoid when modding cars.
hahahahahahaha xD
Lol. The only way this would be funnier is if the airbag suddenly popped out on him after the car exploded.
This was especially funny, since on Monday a co-worker was coming back from lunch and their engine burst into flames. The car was already dying a slow death, so this was just it’s way of going out in a blaze of oily fire. So we both had a good laugh when I gave him this comic and asked him if that’s how his car really died.
Funny, isn’t it, when art imitates real life?! Especially art as far-out as the Book of Biff! 😛
Everybody wants a car that splatters purple; are we going to have reckless drivers on the road slamming into eachother and their cars exploding in red, blues, and greens?!
And maybe the car’s a prune, not a grape. 😀
I wonder what kind of music he listens to..
Prefect…I’ll (hopefully) be driving soon…Now I’m scared to touch anything…
@MaskedMan: The big red button labeled “Do Not Push” will instead release a hail of bullets upon anyone foolish enough to disregard it.
Silly Biff, the self-destruct goes on a separate remote, on an inset button to prevent accidentally engaging the self-destruct. That way you can inconvenience would-be carjackers. :smug:
I think an exploding car would do more than inconvenience anyone besides Biff. Biff just seems slightly bemused.
My button marked Do Not Push wouldn’t release a hail of bullets. If I am in the room, it will do nothing. If I am not, it will fill the room with a boiling gas that will kill all in the room instantly. Much cleaner. No mess, and sure to kill. I just have to be sure the room automatically cycles the air when I enter my pass-code.
I’m always making that mistake!