#315 – Volume

I didn’t get to play an instrument in school. I wanted to play violin but I think we couldn’t afford it at the time. My best friend played french horn and made tapes of himself practicing. The tapes still survive to this day and are pretty hilarious. What instruments do you play?

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0 thoughts on “#315 – Volume”

  1. Jeff says:

    First comment!
    i play piano, Vibraphone, Xylaphone, Marimba, Bells, Synth, Keytar, Viola, Drums, and Trombone. I’m a one-man band!

  2. Christian says:

    I used to play cello in elementary school… I think it’s cruel, making first to fourth graders lug around an instrument two to three times their size! My class before Music class was downstairs from the music classroom, so I had to keep the cello in a rack upstairs with a bunch of other instruments. For some reason, our instructor never let us keep them in her room, or nearby, even though there was space aplenty.

    Ah, well. I was terrible, and was so miserable in the class that I asked my parents to get me out.

    I’ll never play again, unless I snag an ocarina somewhere…
    XD

  3. Donte says:

    I don’t play any instruments, but I bought a guitar off of eBay last week and am waiting for it to arrive any day now.

  4. Andrew says:

    Haha, nice.

    I play the Trombone (ever since the 4th grade) and the Tuba/Sousaphone (ever since high school). I must say, that I prefer playing the Bass Trombone. Excellent mix of Trombone fun and deep, low Tuba sound 🙂

  5. Oliver Dar says:

    Violin, touch of viola, saxophone (soprano alto tenor bari), ocarina, touch of flute, piano, and I sing (bass…really really deep bass)…I also compose and I play a couple traditional instruments…

    Yeah, I’m a music buff =P.

  6. Lucretiel says:

    love the eyebrow jutting through the… whatever the technical term for the hole in the guitar is… pull it tight and boom! 7th string

  7. Chuck says:

    Vocal chords.

  8. Jay says:

    Doumbek (style of drum) and vocal chords (though not well)

  9. LazerWulf says:

    I played Tuba in 6th grade. It was my dad’s idea. At the time, I was about 4-foot-nothing, so he thought it would be hilarious if I got the biggest instrument they had.

    To tell the truth, the size wasn’t so bad, because they had these nifty little stands so I didn’t have to hold it, but the thing about a tuba is, it’ll suck all the air out of your lungs, especially if you don’t have that much lung capacity to begin with.

    I gave it up after a year.

  10. Sam says:

    I started on trumpet in middle school then moved to baritone/euphonium then to trombone. I have randomly picked up the guitar and bass along the way and now am messing around with a banjo just for fun.

  11. soulofaqua says:

    I still am playing didjeridu but I have some trouble with performing the Circular breathing(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circular_breathing)

  12. Caitlin says:

    Piano, guitar, used to play clarinet, and can generally get some sort of a tune out of most instruments. Not my voice though 🙁
    My first thought upon seeing this was, “Oh god. Oh, god. That poor guitar…”

  13. Wim says:

    All you musicians better be nice to your sound guys. We work our butts off trying to make you sound better :p.

    I wish Dutch schools would have music classes. It would really have helped me in my current hobby.

  14. Nathan says:

    I play the guitar. I beat up my old guitar just by sheer ignorance. When I restringed my guitar, I turned the E string tuner so the string circled to the right instead of to the left which ended up breaking the nut. For a week I went around asking all my friends that played a guitar if they ever busted a nut.

  15. Smitehammer says:

    I can’t play anything, but I can whistle like a god.

  16. Ben says:

    I play the drums. I listen to some Metallica, Papa Roach and others to see if I can keep with the drums

  17. Steph says:

    Haha what a rock star pose – Biff is gonna top the charts! [Or the underground charts, cos mainstream charts suck]

    I play flute and alto saxophone primarily, but I can also play violin, b flat clarinet, normal and bass guitar, drums, african/arabic drums, harmonica, penny whistle and of course.. the horrible recorder lol.

    Like some people above – give me an instrument and a bit of time, I’ll be playing for you easy lol

    Excellent comics!

  18. dragonbrad says:

    i play the drums made with the dried corpse of my foes and a a violin, oh i love that joke, I use to play the violin, hated it, i thought it was cool at first but in life it was kinda sucky

  19. dragonbrad says:

    i can play harmonica

  20. karl says:

    Guitar, bass, digeridoo (can circular breathe for a minute or two). I like picking up instruments and learning to play (like piano, xylophone etc)

  21. Seraphine says:

    If Biff turns the guitar around, and sings into the hole itself, it does indeed make a difference. Just be careful of using the nose for a pickle, however. The vibrations are extraordinary.

  22. Shmob says:

    I play the Violin. I got a cheap $110.00 violin and it plays decent. My teacher is telling me that I should upgrade. 😛 I’m thinking about learning guitar at home.

  23. kryhavok says:

    OO i can play bass (guitar and upright), and a little guitar, and a little banjo, hardly do anything on the digeridoo and a theremin! Wee!

  24. pieman says:

    i play the saxo-mo-phone, played a trombone for a year (my school did this thing where everyone in year 7 got to play an instrument, although it had to be a flute, a clarinet, a trumpet or a trombone) i alson want to learn to play the accordian

    SPIDER PIG!

  25. Michael says:

    Does my throat count?

  26. Teela says:

    I play viola, but I want to learn how to play bagpipes. And maybe even the accordian.

  27. Macabelle says:

    Macabelle played the cello before his teacher acted like a jerk and forced him to carry the 20 or 30 pound instrument as big as Biff onto the school bus every day. Macabelle chose to continue riding the bus and to give up the cello.

  28. Nick says:

    I’m surprised so many people play Trombone. I play myself and suck like a ROCK GOD. Yunno, on steroids.

  29. Spooner says:

    I can play Piano and.. well, i’m learning bass 8).
    but i won’t try to listen from the inside of any instrument :D.

  30. Hey Christmas Tree Head says:

    HAHA biff is hilarious, specially with the eyebrow sticking out.
    i used to play trumpet in high school, untill i lost the damn thing.
    was never any good anyway, but the teacher was HOT!
    love you comics chris!
    keep up the good work!

  31. The Phill says:

    I play guitar, saxophone, bass, banjo, drums, some keyboard. Also I’m teaching my self how to play the bagpipes. I also DJ but I don’t know if turntables count as an instrument.

  32. Gobbledegook says:

    I played the Trombone for 16 years, and was decent enough to be invited to a Jazz competition on a bahamas cruise ship my senior year of high school.
    Best. Trip. Evar.
    I say decent, but I was in no way good compared to my friend who played first chair. The coolest thing he ever taught me to do was play one note while humming another note counterpoint. It actually won me the bahamas competition because the judges had no idea how I was doing it and it made for a memorable performance.
    Other than that I can play the piano badly and String Bass even more badly.

  33. VLyandra says:

    I play violin, piano, clarinet, flute, and bassoon. I also sing. But not all at once. Wish I could do that, though. It’d be awesome. In the music world, I’m a doubler, which means directors get two parts covered for the price of one, plus a little extra. (It’s still less than paying two people.) It also means I walk into gigs carrying way too many instruments…

  34. Hanii Puppy says:

    I play the piano, not only for playing things i know and writing new music, but also for therapeutic purposes – i can pour my soul into my piano like i can with nothing else.

  35. Nell says:

    I guess Biff will just need to take a few more guitar lessons.

    I play flute and piccolo (the mini version that makes people go deaf). I always wanted to play it since I was 4, finally got to, started off being decent… and now I suck. I also plunk around on a piano but I never really learned how to play it. I also sing decently.

    I don’t play or sing anymore because the campus that I am at has an uber crappy program but I really do miss it.

  36. Pride says:

    Yeah I am trying to learn to play the guitar but when I played in school I played the drums.

  37. MoonWolf says:

    I always wanted to do that…By the way, I have an Ovation acoustic guitar. My problem with Ovations is that they always seem to slip off my lap when I play. I’m not really all that good actually. But I try.

  38. Pirra says:

    Drums
    I’m a red shirt of the rock world.

  39. Pipe Organ Wolf says:

    Pipe Organ, Piano, Harpsichord, Flute, Clarinet, Autoharp, Harmonica, Violin, Contrabass, All sizes of Recorders, anything percussion, Timpani, Pan Flute, Tin Whistle, Bagpipe Chanter, some Guitar, a bit of French Horn, Piccolo…

    In short, anything I can manage to get my hands on.

  40. KoLAddict says:

    Trumpet, ALL THE WAY!

    Plus guitar and I can sing a little too.

  41. Kayru says:

    I used to know a little piano and I was taught to use an ocarina, but I can’t remember any of either now.

  42. Wills says:

    Hey, i’ve read all of your Biff drawings, and love them!
    This is my first comment, but i thought i would b/c i play LOADS of instuments.
    I play clarinet in Concert BAnd,
    Mellophone in marching Band,
    Tenor Sax in Jazz Band,
    I also own a Alto sax that i can play.
    I bought a wooden flute at MusicFest, and i’m not half bad with that,
    I play Guitar for fun,
    I can play drumset, but not TOO well.
    I’ve tried my hand at Bass, the electric and Double,
    and lastly, i play Trumpet with the same fingerings as Mellophone, so its easy.

    Haha, so i could possibly be called Musical, but for now, just call me one of your biggest fans!

  43. ElGeFe says:

    b flat clarinet myself. Haven’t played in a while, kinda tone deaf, so I kinda suck.

  44. chickie says:

    in almost every school music program i’m in, i play alto sax. in indoor drumline, i played cymbals last year, and i’m hoping to play snare or at least a bass drum this year.

  45. LordRetard says:

    For the most part, I’m a percussionist in some high school bands, although I forgot how to read notes after I stopped taking piano lessons and playing recorder, so I can’t do tuned percussion; too hard. I play drum kit every now and then (for a stage band at school, and whenever my friends want to get together and fail at starting a band again), and that’s what I’m best at. I’ve also tried trombone (a horrible mistake), violin (also a horrible mistake), choir (went surprisingly well for my lack of tone) and piano, twice (went okay, but I never really took it up much). I’d probably be a pretty good musician if I practiced, but I’m just too lazy.

  46. Immo says:

    I can do washboard and mp3 players. And air guitar and pencil drums (thats when you have 2 pencils, and any surface). i can also wistle out of tune and hum very loudly. I’m very musical…. in a way…

  47. The Webbass says:

    I just realized that I spent ALL NIGHT readin ALL 315 of these and lemme just say YOU ARE AMAZIN. BETTER THAN MAX CANNON. You should try to sell WARNING LABELS with Biff on them to various companies. That’s what half your stuff looks like….only BIZZARE.

  48. Chris says:

    Hahaha. “Caution, this is not a toy. Keep away from small children, and Biff”

  49. Mister Rik says:

    While my primary instrument these days is the bass guitar (6-string bass!), I also play guitar. I know *how* to play the piano, but I don’t consider myself a pianist (meaning I wouldn’t try to perform on a piano in public). Waaaaay back in school I also played the clarinet, the alto sax, and the bassoon.

    I’m completely self-taught on everything except the piano and clarinet.

  50. Heh, I’ve got a purple Ibanez guitar that looks like Biff’s.

  51. Fred says:

    I’ll bet all of you that you’ve never heard of the instrument I play. If you have, you get a cybercookie. I play the Xiao (Pronounced ‘Show’), a Chinese meditation flute made of bamboo.

  52. Psykonerd says:

    I own an accordion! But i cant play it very well. =P

  53. Hyshinara says:

    next year, i’m gonna by an electric guitar
    unless i end up not having enough money like this year…

    until then, i play the teeth, hands and little beatbox like thing that really sucks…

  54. Benj says:

    Piano…

    I’ve been trying to teach myself guitar but I”m just too lazy.

  55. Brendan says:

    Drums.

    Mainly because I can’t play any other instrument. At all.

    Believe me, I’ve tried.

  56. Instruments that I know well enough to sight-read concert pieces: Flute/piccolo, French horn, trombone.
    Other instruments that I can play at least scales on: Trumpet, clarinet, saxophones, oboe, bassoon, piano/keyboard and the like. And recorder, but that’s just sort of ‘there’.
    My profession is Musical Instrument Repair, so I had to learn how to play the more common band instruments. My personal collection includes: matching wooden flute and piccolo set, trombone, oboe, alto sax, keyboard and recorder.

  57. Ben says:

    I play keyboard…….

  58. Yakboy says:

    Clarinet for 3 years. Strangely enough, I should be headed to my music school/band camp any minute now! I also know, like 3 tunes on piano and i play a bit of guitar and bass as well as brazillian drums. And the nose flute! Can’t forget the nose flute!

  59. Laje Kahr says:

    Guitar and some piano, plus i sing.

  60. Radical Edward says:

    I sing and I also play drums. More drums than singing.

  61. Dr. Slamtime says:

    I’m a bass guy. Bass guitar, all the way. I’ve been thinking about picking up the violin for a while, but I’ve got no cash.

  62. Sye216 says:

    I love to play the flute, and I can play songs by ear, playing it on my stereo and experiment with notes until I figure the pitch. I also play piano by ear, but have never had formal lessons.

  63. Paulo says:

    Hey, been following the comic for a while, but I never really had anything witty enough tos ay for a comment. I’ve been playing guitar for a year and a month, and I just started getting lessons. I think I rocked harder when I didn’t have lessons. I also played trumpet for fourth and fifth grade. Never. Again.

  64. Alex says:

    Alto Saxaphone, baby!
    Getting a Selmer USA soon, all black body *drools* So sexy
    Next school year I’m learning keyboard and guitar

  65. LightBlade005 says:

    I don’t play any instruments but I have en electric keyboard 😀 (piano)

  66. kaza says:

    I play the drums, eightth year I think now.
    I don’t own any though.

    Biff to the rule!

  67. Colin says:

    piano, and the computer synthesizer program. Thats what i play. and proud of it.

    I also saw a guy beatboxing into a flute once and I later came across a youtube of him.

  68. I play the saxophone – alto tenor and soprano. It’s just pure fun. Exploring music and playing with various musicians and bands. It’s a creative effort that satisfies for sure.

    Keep on jammin Biff!

  69. If #315 – Volume is to baby name book, then what would the reciprocal of that thought be????

  70. asparaa says:

    I can play my armpit . . .

  71. Eldarwen says:

    The guitar is back, with real strings. But he broke it!

  72. the Scarf says:

    http://thebookofbiff.com/2007/05/15/246-guitar/

    Here is the other pic of the guitar…

  73. Bullfrogg says:

    I play trumpet, euphonium, and the flugelhorn. I’m going to be learning clainet so I can play alto clainet.

  74. steve-o says:

    Trumpet, bass drum, snare drum, triangle(surprise!), tambourine, trumpet, recorder, trumpet, and I can make a decent sound on a sax, although thats all I can do.

  75. Diana M. says:

    I play electric guitar,electric piano,harmonica
    and I write music

  76. I play the bass.

    Without the bassplayer, you have no band. And yet guitarists (or as bassists like to call them, “guitards”) get all the attention on stage.

    I haven’t read through all the strips yet, but I’d like to see Biff play the bass in some hillarious situation.

  77. Deteramot says:

    I play the vocal strings. That’s right, I sing.

  78. ETAM says:

    Only the second person on here who can play the Oboe! Sweet! also mellophone, some trumpet, minor piano and medium guitar. Really into technique and theory. Can play most instruments I get my hands on except suck at bass clef.

  79. jykcor says:

    1. TENOR FREAKIN’ SAX BABY!
    2. I do a crapload of musical theater, chorus, madrigals ( which is like a higher chorus you have to audition for. we sing latin, etc.)

  80. MadDavid says:

    Lap harp!

    Also, a long time ago I “played” trumpet and recorder.

  81. Bakelite says:

    I play the Stylophone. Does anyone remember the Stylophone? No? Look it up on google or something.

  82. the_gail says:

    I play viola, piano, and guitar, could probably manage a violin, and occasionally sing in such away that cats don’t attack me. (true story was practicing a song for chorus and my cat walked up to me and bit my ankle, this happened more than once.)

  83. Nero says:

    Guitar (Electric and acoustic), Drums, bass (guitar, standing and double) piano, Saxaphone (Alto down.), Sing (Baritone) barimba (Google it) and I bang on walls and crap for street drum corps.

  84. Marr965 says:

    I play piano (got Jazz grade 3), I used to play the flute, and I’ve got a mouth organ… My dad plays bass guitar… Most of my family sings (my cousin’s going to do grade 1)… One of my two others (I’ve got two aunts on that side of the family) plays guitar, and is in a band… I’d never quite realised until now exactly how musical my family is… Oh yeah, my grandmother plays the harp…

  85. Marr965 says:

    Oh, I can also do a really good steel drum impression…

  86. Hornswaggler says:

    Flute! 8D Flute is amazin’. You can play notes that might only be heard by dolphins with very little effort. (Seriously, the high high HIGH C is easier to get out than the G. XD Ironic.)

  87. Hornswaggler says:

    Apologies for the double post…
    I sing a lot…whether it’s good is another question. XD I can sorta play piccolo, I know a couple songs by ear on the piano, and I can get a note out of a trumpet and a clarinet. XD Just a note. And it doesn’t sound good. -shrug- Flute is my main. IT RULES.

  88. Allie says:

    I sing & I play many instruments: piano, electric & acoustic guitar, flute, recorder, bass guitar, percussion toys (cowbell, shaker, etc.), harmonica. Though I might be cheating a bit cuz I was a music major in college… 😀

    Another interesting note: A piano “bit” me once…or rather I smacked my head on it and was bleeding all over the place. I have a rather nice scar on my forehead that will always remind me how hard it is to play jazz LOL.

  89. wordup says:

    i play the guitar. curently im playing a telecaster that i made. i used to play the baritone in school but i gave up on it. it was like a smaller lamer version of a tuba.

  90. Goldenear777 says:

    I play the bass clarinet. However, i played trumpet through 7th grade and then switched to bass clarinet; that was a pretty odd experience.

  91. Eledrake says:

    I specialize in the ocarina. I’ve had two 4 hole ocarinas and I want a 12 hole one. I can play by ear quite easily. I prefer LoZ:OoT replicas.

  92. Tech says:

    I play a mean radio.

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