#314 – Shiver

The things that you can get through the mail are almost endless. What is the most amazing thing you have gotten?

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  1. Sean says:

    Well the strangest thing I got in the mail would probably be…

    I just remembered I dont mail order…
    Hahaha!

  2. Kky says:

    One time, I got two turtles in the mail.

  3. Tyler W says:

    Amazing thing?
    In my opinion, my videocard I got over a year ago for the computer I am currently using, an ATI Radeon X1900XTX. But then again I also have gotten some swords.

    Fun stuff.

  4. Colten says:

    I got Russian wife in the mail once.

  5. My computer is the weirdest thing I got in the mail! That or one of my many dragon statues.

  6. Hominyjibjib says:

    Either a special chip to play pirated video games on my Wii, or something *cough* unmentionable ;D

  7. Sax says:

    ^Scandalous!

  8. Soulofaqua says:

    The strangest thing I had in the mail was a package of ice tea and goodies, got because I complainted about the seals breaking of everytime sothey gave me a 1.5 liter pack, 3 small packs some puzzel books and a frisbee all because of a complaint…

  9. Kiwi says:

    I generally receive boring stuff, but the strangest thing to explain was a promotional cooking magazine I’d got online, but with a different name than was on the mailbox, because I was just joking around and didn’t actually expect it to receive it. Sure enough, a couple months later, in the mail for me was a cooking magazine from Kraft, addressed to one “High Commander Kzarwin of the People’s Democracy of Kiwania.”

  10. Roy_vf1s says:

    I think the most amazing thing I’ve ever gotten in the mail was my luggage. I had gone to Texas to visit my girlfriend, and due to the usual delays for ‘equipment changes’ (or as George Carlin plainly states, “Broken Plane”) I got home a full 72 hours before my luggage – non functional laptop and all.

    SO, having been promised my stuff by morning, I got mad when three days later the UPS truck drove down my street and deposited a largish box on the doorstep. That had me excited, but the contents were what made me mad – my bag, with a tear down the side and a letter from the air carrier that basically said “We’re sorry. Our bad.” I’ve never heard of them doing that before. 😛

  11. Smauggy says:

    Strangest thing I’ve ever gotten in the mail…

    Has to be a snake.

    Specifically, a 2-month-old baby Jungle Caret Python.

    A cousin of mine in Berkeley, CA, breeds them, and was bemoaning the runt that he couldn’t seem to sell. Jokingly, I told him “Send it to me, I’ve always wanted a pet snake!” We laughed, and I promptly forgot about it.

    2 days later, I had a package arrive. Well, not expecting any mail, my wife and son were curiously looking on as I open it, to find an friendly little python, barely a foot long, that had just traveled over 4,000 miles.

    Almost 5 years later, and Puck, as we named him, is now 7′ long, weighs about 10lbs, and goes almost everywhere with us.

    Odd how things turn out sometimes. 🙂

  12. Kky says:

    Kiwi! You’re has got to be the best! I am so filling out silly names from now on. Though, whenever I’m not serious, I put Boarney Boarkinson as a joke from Bleach lolz ^^

  13. Ben says:

    Whilst working at an educational institute as a storeperson I opened a box with a rifle in it. The institute no longer allows staff to have personal mail delivered to them at work.

    I’m notorius for doing work in other states and leaving tools there, so I’m always getting chargers and drills in the post.
    I have recieved some “adult” products as well.

  14. pistachio! says:

    When I was a kid, everyday when the mail came, I always secretly hoped that I would get a card full of money as a surprise… I was actually disappointed when I didn’t.

    Hmm… Strangest thing would probably be a CD called Looney Tunes Sing the Beatles……. but I expected that. Does it count?

  15. The Crack Ninja says:

    Do ninja supplies count? Anyone who can convince the postal service to ship 220 sharpened shurikins in one box must be one smooth talker.

  16. Ironically enough, to my recolection, the strangest thing (something i wasn’t expecting) i have gotten in the mail came yesterday.
    I have just turned 18 years old and someone felt the need to wish me happy birthday. That someone was Gillette. Gillette the shaving company. They sent me a gillette fusion razor, a 2.5 oz can of gillette fusion ultra sensitive hydragel (shaving gel), and a small package of after shave balm.
    It all came encases in an orange box saying “Happy Birthday From Gillette!” on it. Having never ordered anything from Gillette i was bewildered. But all in all, ineeded a new razor.

  17. Eleanor says:

    The strangest thing I got was a CD, now it doesn’t sound strange, but I had called one of those question things on the television in the hopes of winning the prize, and the CD was one of the hundred runner-up prizes. It came three weeks later too, after I’d completely forgotten, (not like you expect to win anyway) so my parents were all suspicious and wouldn’t let me open it.

  18. Sam says:

    Hmm, the weirdest…
    Probably a box of CDs, I know, not too weird. But these CDs were stolen from the royal mail, my father was a postman, and he used to steal stuff he was supposed to be posting and one day he thought he’d send me a gift. Great bloke, my dad.

  19. JezMM says:

    I’ve never gotten anything that strange, but I recall a story of my brother’s, who used to work for the ICT department (as a helping student that is, not an actual job) of my high school back in the day, and once they got a box about the size of a small washing machine, FILLED with polysterine bits and packaging, with just a single mouse in the centre of it all. Apparently it was as hilarious as it was surreal.

  20. Elle says:

    I’m an idiot. I just thought, after reading JezMM’s comment, “Oh no! I hope the mouse was okay!” Damn words having two meanings. The strangest thing I’ve got in the mail? A new real estate company called Fruit opened up and in the mail we recieved an origami box filled with business cards, pamphlets, a packet of fruit tingles and an orange. I ate it all. Except, you know, the papery stuff. Then later my Dad got all freakin’ out because he thought that clearly Fruit wanted to poison us and that I was in Mortal Danger.

  21. dragonbrad says:

    I ordered something and ended up getting two things,and none of them were what i ordered, it cost me ten bucks for two things worth five, and then they maid me pay shipping and they sent it next day, an a ten pound box

  22. Tom V. says:

    The most amazing thing I ever got in the mail was two ball pythons; an adult female normal and a breeder pastel male.

  23. Sye216 says:

    I don’t get a lot from mail, but… the weirdest thing I ever got was a shirt. It doesn’t seem unusual, but it was, because it was from my grandparents…who at the time, lived only a few blocks from our house…. Oh well.

  24. Synchro593 says:

    Weirdest thing I’ve gotten via postal service would have to be a blob of mold with pits (it had been a bag of plums two weeks beforehand).

  25. Bullet Fiend says:

    Funniest BIFF comic in Ages

    Rock on!

  26. Bullet Fiend says:

    To “Sam”:

    For no apparent reason, that sort of blows me away.

  27. Bullet Fiend says:

    The coolest thing I’ve ever gotten had to be a model I got for my tenth birthday. It was from Japan and was an electric, put-together model of a massive, robotic, black and red, reptile.

    COMPLETE WITH STOMPING AND GROWLING ACTION!!! PROJECTILE FIRING PENDING…

  28. trueblaze says:

    Well, I can’t really think of anything too unusual I’ve gotten. However in one day my room mate once got, a samori sword, a box of anime, and a box of porn all in the same day. Aparently he had been shoping on online a few days earlier. >.>”

  29. Elli says:

    Weirdest thing this family ever recieved was a Homer Simpson cuckoo clock. We got it by accident from some website. It’s not fully functional, but hey, you get what you pay for. (We didn’t pay a dime) Tsuki kept it, though.

  30. Elli says:

    By the way, is it just me, or is his expression in this comic similar to the one in number 247: Spring?

  31. Wannabeelf says:

    ^
    yes

    the most amazing thing I’ve gotten in the mail was enclosed in the envelop containing $200 my boyfriend sent to me (from Ft. Leonard Wood Missouri, where he’s currently attending Emergency Management training for that air national guard) for me to have a “good time” at GenCon Indy which arrived on Monday (my 24th birthday). he’d wrapped that cash (i want to smack him for sending cash through the mail) in this most incredible love letter. I’ve had a grin on my face all week.

    Jake Camera Action;
    they sent that to every guy on their 18th, but we ladies get nothing. congrats on being born exactly 6 years and 3 days after me.

  32. Suoernaut says:

    The weirdest thing i got would have to be a box full of matches as my friend was on my computer and he is an smoker so he said ” I am plaining ahead” But it cost a lot of money to ship 300 Match boxes over night. Of course he was at home and I need to pay the UPS guy now so it cost about $100 something. What fun friends are.

  33. MoonWolf says:

    Well, the most amazing thing (overstatement) I ever got in the mail was my lost camcorder that I misplaced during the ’05 ComicCon. I remember I got it back about 3 months later. Funny thing is the camcorder was cheap and wasn’t really mine but my brother’s. You see, I hated the thing and I kinda wished it would get stolen someday. I guess it did get stolen as I wished but the theif hated it as much as I did so instead of putting it out of its misery by destroying it and throwing it in the garbage, he sends it back to us. Now it’s sitting next to me, staring at me while I type. Yeah, I hate it alot. I’m sure it’s feelings are mutual.

  34. Ariel says:

    A 6-lb. hand-carved crystal skull.

  35. C4Pottery says:

    3 year old cornsnake. For all of you thinking it’s cruel to send a snake through the mail, here’s how they do it: over the course of a week, they lower the temperature of the snake’s terrarium (like an aquarium, but with chips of torn up fluffy cardboard bits instead of water) until it hibernates. then they ship him off and a week later he’s looking up at you drowsily out of a pillowcase in a box. So not mean at all. It’s like falling asleep on a plane.

  36. Gobbledegook says:

    The most awkward thing I ever got was gay porn and a fake love letter from my (male) roommate while I was visiting my parents during summer break one year in college. My mom almost fainted when I opened it in front of her. My roommate thought it was hilarious, and it took two weeks to convince my mom it was a joke.

    Hey Chris, what’s the best thing you’ve ever gotten?

  37. Nathan says:

    iThe most amazing thing I got in the mail were my Invader Zim DVDs!

  38. Well, early this spring I got tickets for a “television preview” thing. What was awesome was that we went last year when another friend got them, so we thought we’d show up again this year. So that was pretty cool, considering it is pretty much random chance that one of the four of us who went last year got tickets for this year. So we went, and I got picked for a door prize. I was supposed to get a gift bag of stuff, but instead they sent me a $40 cheque. Not that exciting, I know, but essentially it was prize money, so that was pretty cool.

  39. Macabelle says:

    Macabelle sent in a complaint about a hairnet in his cakemix (Yes, Macabelle does bake)

    He received in turn a 12 inch plush of the pillsbury doughboy and an apology letter.

  40. Pants says:

    The most amazing thing I have ever received in the mail was when I ordered a bunch of Misfits stuff and for the special instructions wrote “Man, who ever wants this much Misfits crap must be a queer” and when I received it, it had, written in pen on it “I agree” with a smiley face and a heart. I was amazed and laughing. Mostly because its a joke between some friends that when we order stuff (usually for ourselves) we put mean words in. That also cost me ordering a skateboard once, they didn’t understand that, even after I explained it.

  41. Missing Link says:

    Been Following Biff for awhile now, just never commented.

    Lets’s see, weirdest thing i ever got. i turned 18 and for a couple days before and after i was recieving samples or tampons and pads. turns out my friends thought it would be a funny birth day prank.

    Oh and Yeah, i’m a guy

  42. Micah says:

    Who would send Biff a moving something? We’ve never seen him talk to anyone. Who would know him well enough to send something alive good or bad?

  43. Garrett says:

    Weirdest thing might be a Leone Di Lernia CD I ordered from Italy in 2002. I still have the shipping box! It’s fun to have a box printed with “posta raccomandata”, the shipping price in Euros, “LETTRE”(handwritten), and slightly different formatting of the addresses. They even stamped the sender address 7 times for some reason. 2 times on 3 sides, then once in the normal spot.
    Leone Di Lernia is basically the Weird Al of Italy. Well, maybe more like Bob Rivers, considering the occasional profanity and lack of accordion. He’s also a shock jock on Radio 105. This was a techno album named “Porcello 2” (Pig 2). There was never a Porcello 1, although he has had a parody of “You Spin Me Round(Like a record, baby)” called “Il Gran Porcello”(“The Big Pig”).

    I also have promotional flyers from Japan for the Lion King DVD. Ordered that from a British guy. I don’t think I still have that envelope that says “Royal Post”, or whatever it is Brits use. Packages from foreign countries are fun to get.

  44. Three joints taped inside a Get Well card. With my real address and the sender’s real address on the envelope. Mailed across seven states! I could still be in prison right now.

  45. Hyshinara says:

    well, one day i was woken up by the doorbell and i ran down and opened the door and saw this veeeeeeeery hot girl…

    unfortunaly, she was bringing around packets for the Mail and she gave me my tickets for Graspop Metal Meeting (Metal-festival in Belgium)

    it would be TOTALLY awesome if i could have gotten the girl, but being woken up for my tickets was just great XD

  46. Cronyne says:

    Amazin…. a letter from the dentist telling me to go in for a checkup… I never get good mail.

  47. Ela says:

    …UHHH…. (what’s in the box, exactly?) (x_x)

    Anywho, the best thing I’ve ever gotten was the Gamecube my bro ordered. Still doesn’t cease to amuse me. (I know, it’s just a game system, but hey! I’m only thirteen.)

  48. Kanki-chan says:

    Well, weirdest thing for me was the same as Jake Camera Action (the razor 4 my 18th), but what makes it weird isn’t the razor, but they sent it to me because my first name is Dylan.

    Being a girl with a guy’s name sux sometimes u_u

  49. Kozo the Kid says:

    I woulda just ran the hell home. No way am I gonna let that thing bite my head off while I wanna go home. No. EFFING. WAY.

  50. Unterferse says:

    Not shipped directly to me, but to my sister; homebrewed absinthe from my Uncle in California. I *do* know how he got it through the mail; no, I’m not telling.

  51. Madness says:

    Just got to wonder whats in that box.

  52. Yakboy says:

    Awww, i suck. The wierdest thing i ever got was a Swiss army knife. It was a sample one from a company that prints your company name on a knife, sort of like those pens but more useful.

  53. uniquely different says:

    my first ever post to biff! woot!

    anyway: weirdest thing i ever got in the mil would probably have to be my nintendo wii
    it doesnt sound weird, but the thing was i was expecting to go down to the game shop to pick it up, but instead i got free drop-off 🙂

    or maybe:
    when i was a kid i used to get comics sent through the post, but when i turned 8 i got bored of ’em so i got mum to cancel the subscription. HOWEVER! a few years down the line (i was about 14) i recieved a rather heavy box. when i opened it i was shocked to see every issue of the comic book from five years (one a week) it took the family a whie but we made a tidy profit from selling on our FREE comics 🙂

  54. Josher says:

    I saw on the news today something about a young woman who got a 300 page (double sided) iPhone bill, and posted it on Youtube…

    Besides, the package isn’t that important, it’s the packing material (usually styrofoam) that’s important. My dad once sent a package packed with superfinely shredded paper (smaller than confetti). It was to a relative who kept sending lots of excess styrofoam for packages. (small item, big box). I understand it was weeks before he got the paper out of the carpet

  55. Roy_vf1s says:

    Hey, Kanki, just be glad you don’t share your name with four coworkers – all of whom are of the opposite sex (for some reason, there are four high-school girls in my store who are all named Ryan). It gets… strange sometimes on the radio.

    I have to change my strangest item recieved story – I ordered an airsoft rifle from California, and when it finally arrived far later than promised (two days ago it finally showed up), it was in a styrofoam box with no lid, no instructions, and was missing its orange safety tip. Not very strange, but highly annoying.

    Two days later (this morning), my cousin was filling in on the mail route that delivers to my street… and he brought by a large box addressed to me. Absolutely a massive box. I brought it inside, opened it up… and inside was the small orange ring that goes on the airsoft rifle to make it legal to ship, all the missing tools and paperwork, and a gift certificate for a free bag of BB’s. How odd.

  56. Crow_Ronin says:

    the weirdest thing i ever got in the mail was five precooked hotdogs.
    they weren’t really packaged. just shoved in a box together. still have no clue who sent them to me.

  57. Adam M says:

    I miss chris commenting, and wish he’d tell us the strangest thing he’s gotten in the post.
    I got 10 postcards, all from the same two people once.
    Another time I was talking to someone on msn messenger, and mentioned I was having toast. They said (joking) “can I have some?”.
    So I put a piece of toast with vegemite in an envelope and posted it to her.
    I like taking jokes too seriously.

  58. Brendan says:

    Hmm….. I don’t know about too many “strange” things, but as of today, I’ll be receiving the Book Of Biff in the mail! So I suppose it could be called strange. But also very, very cool.

    And just so you know, you’ve got a fan from down in Kansas in the US.

    …..er…… Me.

  59. Shashani says:

    my mom told me that her brother put a cat in the mailbox when they were little. Must have been an interesting day for the mailman when he got there. I remember putting a frog in the mailbox when I was little. Maybe thats why they go postal sometimes.

  60. Chris says:

    Thanks Brendan, that’s actually the first order I got from Kansas. 🙂

  61. Nate says:

    harry potter. lol, I’m lame

  62. Maija says:

    I finally got to order the book, so now I’m gonna post my first comment ever, too! : D Yayness!

    The weirdest thing I’ve gotten in mail was clearly the free mini-gift I got when ordering a couple of CD:s from an asian netfirm. The gift was a small, light pink fish-keychain-thing. It’s hollow and made of rubber, so you can stuck it to people’s foreheads. It was a load of fun until the keychain-part broke, and I couldn’t carry it along with me anymore. :/

  63. Chris says:

    Maija, awesome! My first order from Finland 🙂

  64. Aaditya says:

    My MCAT scores. 33, BOOYAH!

  65. Zalian says:

    The most amazing thing I’ve gotten would have to be a 4 1/2 foot long thin Styrofoam block wrapped entirely in yellow packing tape from Korea. It was a katana that I had asked for a few days prior.

    I received a phone call from my local UPS office about a “dangerous looking package” that was addressed to me. The person (who I later found out was a new employee) said that the item description listed it as a “kay-tay-na” and that I should come check it out. Upon arrival, they dragged it up to the front and showed it to me, and I had to convince them to let me take it. It was actually a bit difficult to keep the person from opening it to verify the contents for themselves.

    I later told my Korean friend that it was a great sword with good balance and strength, but to place things in a cardboard box or something next time.

  66. Aidan McNamara says:

    Well mines all boring mainly just a tiny piece of plastic that said ‘greed’ on it.

    Here’s a story that happened today. Well my Nan is on holiday but apparently some…’not all there’ person sent a letter and my grandad picked it up,on the Envelop contained the person who sent its adress, a ripped in half first class stamp, even though she posted it herself, also the envelope came in one of thos plastic folder sheets. Inside the Envelope was a entire different story, it was a 33 page sort of wierd, bloody frickning writing about her talking about her dogs, animals and saying 40% of all 10-18 year olds should be protected and the rest (60% to you and me) should be murdered,giving lethal injections or get the electric chair which churned my stomach also she wished fishers, the Prime minister, A load of banks names e.t.c to get the same treatment.

    Also she said, which I find quite hilarious, that could my nan recommend any ‘super private finding detectives’ as someone has gone through her bag and stolen her dog ashes, and she needs someone to tidy her house and does my nan know anyone with ‘robot hoovers’.

    Also her style of writing was very childish,mispelt hundreds of words and everytime she wrote a dogs name she put a heart round it and put a load of xs in the heart which quite honestly nearly made me crap myself. Also (Also I use also too often) she said that next time a social worker knocked on her door she would murder them and asked if my nan would meet her at a pub or come to her house, but if she came to her house she’d have to wear a disguise so the neighbours wouldn’t plot against her.Also she has lived since May 2002 without gas,electric and heat because she fears for her dogs safety and uses a torch at night

    To tell the truth I am scared for my grandparents safety even though my grandad takes it light hearted.

  67. Hooligan says:

    I dunno about amazing, but the strangest thing I got in the mail would have to be live mice.

  68. Khasa says:

    I dont get any fun stuff. all I got in mail is army orders.
    When americans turn 18 they get shaving razors for free. In Israel you get an order to come to the recruitment bureau =(

  69. Roy_vf1s says:

    Adam M:
    Vegemite? I hope they liked it. That stuff’s expensive here in the US.

    Zalian:
    Have had the same problem with airsoft rifles

    Khasa:
    I’m sorry, bud. But, technically in America you have thirty days after your birthday to register for selective service or you face fines and possible jail time. So… it’s not as bad, but we do get a gov’ment mandate to come file papers.

  70. Rachel says:

    I get pretty boring mail. I was pretty excited to get my first piece of college junk mail though…It was from the University of Chicago, I think.

  71. I get these chip magazines from MAXIM, MAXIM IC dallas, not that other magazine. i got my first one, and the IC and dallas part was small, so my parents thought i had ordered something i shouldnt have. it did contain porn of sorts, i guess, nerd porn, MOSFETs, VCOs, and a bunch of other ICs. i ordered a sample of the MAX2606EUT, thing was micro sized. i dont get mail too oftin, so i guess all i get are broken dreams :'(

  72. Bob says:

    wow, heh, dude, Aidan McNamara, you get some interesting mail. i wish i got more mail, its like little presents, you could alredy know whats inside, like something you ordered, or not.

  73. Michael says:

    what’s all this nonsense about a razor? I turned 18 almost two months ago, and no free gifts have arrived. ah well. strangest thing: when I was 10 my 5th grade class went on a “whale watch” field trip to cape cod for 3 days, sleeping over night. i brought my stuffed seal (he was my fluffy confindante, rather than a teddy bear) named Pete, who meant the world to me. sure enough, what was the only thing I left behind? well fortunately, i wrote a sobby letter to the hotel with my mom, and they shipped Pete across 4 states, and I got him a nearly-sleepless week later. the other coolest thing was a CD by Devin Townsend, “Ziltoid the Omniscient” which said “Thanks Michael” written in his wife’s handwriting on a newsletter that came with it. may have been because my “special instructions” were to “tell Devin that he is a musical genius and my hero.”

  74. Youma says:

    I don’t receive weird stuff by mail much, but I’m responsible for others receiving it.
    I sent a mouse trap to a friend who had teased me (mail bomb = colis piégé = trap package)
    I sent candles to another friend and her boyfriend for the sake of romance.
    And I helped my brother sending a letter to his art teacher. He sent a 1¢ cash order and added 51 1¢ stamps.
    I printed weird flyers and put them in mailboxes, I might do it again. Like this week, that would be cool.

  75. Jolser says:

    I don’t know if this counts, but we won a prize at graduation for having the most packages sent to us through the university. I had bought a computer (each individual piece from somewhere different, plus other stuff) and my mate bought a lot of stuff from eBay (including a set of golf clubs).

    And all we won was a bottle of wine…

  76. Seraphine says:

    My favorite package is coffee from Maui.
    The first thing I do is smell the coffee,
    before I even make it. Yummm…

  77. Necavi Omnes says:

    “Archemedes Rex Says:

    August 17th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
    Three joints taped inside a Get Well card. With my real address and the sender’s real address on the envelope. Mailed across seven states! I could still be in prison right now.”

    Man, I fell out of my seat when I read that. Awesome.

    Chris, I just now finished the archives, and I have to say;; Biff is amazing.
    And I say that because when I read these comics, I came to realize that Biff and my brother Jeff are the same people. If you’ve ever met him, you’d understand.

    And as for my mail, well… I’ve recieved multiple ‘strange’ things, but the most recent would have to be my rapier, and what the UPS dude said when he handed it to me.
    Now, it was fully packaged… Wrapped in cloth, inside of a sleek cherry-wood box, put in bubble wrapping, held in place by styrofoam, and all inside of a nice cardboard box. None of it was tampered with, either. But when he said, ‘with a sword as nice as that, you need to constantly pour oil it, and it’s a good idea to leave it in hot places like the back of your car, and bend it when you can,’ I was a bit weirded out. The name of the item wasn’t on the cardboard box, nor was it on the tag. So, my main concern was how in the world did he know? Not to mention I was insulted that he saw me as such a moron– as a fencer of many years, I had the mind to stab him right there. And that is obviously a horrible way of taking care of equipment such as that.

    So, yeah. It wasn’t the package itself, just the delivery guy.

    -Neca

  78. Chris says:

    Neca – Thanks, I’m glad you like the comics… I’m sorry about your brother.

  79. Pascal says:

    hm… I dont know about amazing, but slightly weird was when I forgot a cd at my parents while visiting, they shipped it back and when I got it, the envelope had tire marks on it and the contence… we’ll you can imagine what it would be after being run over by a truck filled with paper and other asorted thigns.

  80. Necavi Omnes says:

    As am I, sir, as am I.

    ;p

    -Neca

  81. Fred says:

    My grandparents recently got me a fully-functional battle shield as an early birthday present, and I use it to practice sword fighting. I think that qualifies as amazing.

  82. The Phill says:

    I have everyone beat.

    When I was like 8 or 9 I had a dog that I kept at my grandparents house.
    Well one day the ups truck came to my house. And so you know my mom is all talking to the guy and then she signs for the package. She brings it inside. and she gives it to me. So I open it and inside the big box is smaller box with a card on top. So I read the card first, and it said something like this. “Sorry for your loss,” then the inside. was a note ” Hi Phill, in the small box is Mickey. He died last week when he was asleep. Your grandfather left him in the car when he went inside and forgot about him. But don’t feel bad because we had him stuffed for you. So open the box and make sure you keep him brushed. Love, grams.”

    So I open the box and there is my dog curled up in a ball kinda. All stuffed and not alive. I think I cried for like a day. I still have him. he stays on a shelf. But I have to get rid of him this month, cuz my girlfriend says it wierds her out. So I’m gonna bury him in my yard.

    Btw Chris biff is great its always a source for a smile when I’m down. Keep up the good work.

  83. Chris says:

    Holy nuts Phill that is crazy!

  84. Barret says:

    Phill, I think your grandparents might qualify as crazy.

  85. Dark_Stryke says:

    hmmm the weirdest thing… that’s a tough one with my track record. I’d have to say the weirdest thing I got in the mail to this day, is my now dinged up, one handed, paul chen knightly. The only reason why this is the weirdest thing I got, was because customs didn’t hold it, instead though, they decided to hold the vambraces, greaves, chainmail gloves, double wrap belt and my back baldric. That’s the good old border guard for you eh? Let’s send ’em the sharp pointy bit and keep the stuff that is meant to protect rather than hack and slash. I have it all now, which is good, I would’ve taken far too many injuries without the gloves at the very least, being a swordsman in this day and age is way too much fun!

  86. Radical Edward says:

    Most amazing thing? I’d say it was a Dollfie body. Except the right hand was broken off by my father while I was shopping.

  87. Teh Random says:

    Most amazing thing? Chicks..as in small, cute, peeping things. You can mail order chicks that with any luck will turn into chickens despite their total lack of intelligence and survival instinct. They’re very cute and quite the package to recieve in the mail, but since this is from a farm/ranch supply catalog, I wouldn’t suggest this as some sort of present to a loved one or the like!

  88. Otacon says:

    An almost living turtle, that my uncle sent me.

  89. Arc says:

    Hmmm…. I’m not sure, either the porn around my 13th (no i did not order it) or the army letter on my 16th.

    Oh and at the guy with the joints, I think thats legal in Holland, was no problem when i was walking around with them anyway.

  90. BlueWaterDragon says:

    Phill dude!! That’s soo sad.

    Best things I’ve had in the mail, humm, my re-enactment sword (yippee!!), my black leather corset (before you get weirded out I’m a Lady!), my guns!! (cap firers mind!!) and the fibre re-enforced plastic core for the LARP weapons I make.

  91. Nicolai21 says:

    I don’t think I can beat The Phil but lets try anyways.

    The wierdest thing I have gotten in the amail was while I was deployed to Iraq. Someone got the bright idea to send me a care package with some snickers (which melted instanlty), some socks, a single pencil, 20 pens,
    3 bags of gum, something identified as a peach, a jug of milk(didn’t make it and smelled horrible), and a hat.

  92. Le Blue Dude says:

    My aunt mary died, and I went to her funeral on my 18th birthday. When I got back to my house in Iowa, from Michagan, I found the birthday present that she had mailed the day before she died

  93. Colin says:

    i got shipped this weird statue in the mail on accident once.
    Think it might have been curse, cause things kept breaking that day until I drove the statue back to the post office.
    nearly crashed, too.

  94. FPDuck says:

    The most interesting thing I got via mail was my Xbox360. It was the premium version in the Pro Evolution Soccer 6 bundle. All for the same price as a core version (non-bundle). They took it off the website the day after I ordered, so I guess it was clearance. It came the day before my final exam, which left me with something to look forward to when I went back home (home-home. Proper home, not student digs home). Great stuff.

  95. Tomahawk Man says:

    I’d have to saaaay… the chickens my mom ordered in the mail. Those things are sooo annoying now… I remember one time, before I put the chickens in their coop for the night, one of the chickens had gotten out of the pen and came up to the back door… lawlzorz 🙂

  96. Erica says:

    A postcard reminding me to get my eyes checked, but here’s the kicker….

    The optometrist in question is my father, and I was working at the office during the period it was sent 😀 Apparantly someone wasn’t looking when they pulled the cards for that month.

  97. evilgoddess62 says:

    Perhaps Biff has ordered a cat to help with those breadbox-eating mice?

    As for strange things in the mail…my mom ordered a Nintendo DS for my brother as an early Christmas present. The day it arrived, he was really excited, slit the tape, opened the box…

    And nothing. The box was empty. The tape was still there, so it hadn’t been opened, but there was nothing inside it. Presumably someone at the factory had pocketed the DS before the box was sealed.

    Then my mom had to jump through hoops of fire to get another DS sent to us without being charged again.

    Afterwards we joked about how it was lucky it wasn’t an actual Christmas present. It would’ve been a real bummer to take off the bow, unwrap the box, open it, and find absolutely nothing. 😀 Though I’m sure it would have been hilarious in retrospect.

  98. kiing friday says:

    probably a can of squid. but it was shipped inside another can, which was of armadillo egg.

  99. Der Lex says:

    First the letter my flatmate got… I just moved in so she (flatmate’s female, i’m male) was “officially” the only person living there.. She got a mini-catalogue for extreme sado-maso gay accessoires… the pictures were definitely XXX… Some of these Things I would’ve never imagined possible… some of them took a while to understand how they’re supposed to work… kinda scary stuff… *shudder*…She never ordered at an “adult products” company…
    And I got a living Scorpion in a nice little package… cardboard outside, in there clear plastic box with air-holes… Terrarium came the next day… I wanted it but i wanted to get to the store and collect it… its in the same city… Ordered it online together with the terrarium and I think they didnt read the Note… wanted only the terrarium to be delivered…. luckily my flatmate wasn’t home that day… she hates my spider and my scorpion and never enters my room because of them… she would have fereaked out extremely…

  100. tuna the tank says:

    according to me: my pillow and suspenders that werent mine.
    according to my brother: my vintage bowling shoes.

  101. ANdrew says:

    A snake.

    Not even kidding

  102. Tuesday says:

    Instead of office chair, box contained bobcat. WOULD NOT BUY AGAIN.

  103. Elkian says:

    He got a box within a box!
    Those things are dangerous! I lost my smision to quone!

  104. steve-o says:

    I once got a life sized space shuttle, complete with food, crew, fuel, a working space age life… raft/…thing, and a pet vampragon in the mail

  105. Mike says:

    I shipped a hammer once. I just printed the shipping label and stuck it on. Got a complaint from the post office but the recipient got it alright. I think he still has the label on it.

  106. funnyman141 says:

    i bought a carburator for a motorcycle (a 450) and a month later the truck brings the whole bike complete and running the funny thing is i only paid 70 bucks for it!!!

  107. KZero says:

    I haven’t done much package recieving. I ordered a few T-Shirts from Something Positive (Linked) once… I got my computer in the mail too. Also a friend sent me fake clay booze (as a joke since I don’t drink.) along with the first two MegaTokyo books for my birthday. I guess that’s the most interesting thing I’ve gotten. Not nessicarily amazing though.

  108. Siah says:

    the weirdest thing I ever got was……. (from my parents)A stuffed Rabbit that laughed(Kind of creepy, Actully), the package had been broken and I asked what happend. The box had fallen off the conveyer belt and the rabbit started laughing, freaking out all of the employes, so the called the cops and when they opened the box the rabbit fell out and they all had a good laugh, (which continued even after I got there).

  109. AdmiralChaos says:

    # Tuesday Says:
    December 12th, 2007 at 8:12 pm

    Instead of office chair, box contained bobcat. WOULD NOT BUY AGAIN.

    now now, posting something from another web comic (XKCD for that quote) here is just wrong >.>

    also, Biff (and Chris) deserve a title that i hold special.
    EPIC!

  110. Maarten says:

    nothing really weir but i order some new piercings from thailand when the package arived it was opend taped back together with customs on it and there was just a hole through the entire package luckely nothing of the sterilestuff was contaminated

    ow yeah i once got a catnecklace with a bell on it and a note from a girlfriend

  111. houstonwolf says:

    I fill out fake names all the time, hugh japackage being the funniest IMO. The coolest was the journal of a friend who died in Iraq, her parents sent it to me because it had some ahem, personal stories about me and her and they thought I should have it.

  112. Oreo says:

    I have two weird mail stories.
    The first was for my birthday, from a friend. I got several unmarked envelopes each day for a month leading up to the day in question.Each one contained a thong. Sized XXL. That smelled used (according to my roommate.) It got to the point that I had a betting thing going on about what colour the undies would be.
    The second, was a huge box. It had lots and lots of packaging, and then, in the centre, was a lock of bright red hair tied with a green ribbon. It had my correct name, address, postal code, all that stuff… but I did not know anyone with that shade of hair.

  113. LadyLuck1337 says:

    I used to work at an adult boutique and about 3 months after leaving for a better job I got a “thank you” gift in the mail. Let us just say that none of the contents of the box were appropriate to discuss on a forum where children might be reading nor did my mother really need to see them but she insisted I open that box in front of her.

  114. Dan says:

    3 five dollar bills

  115. Auto-motive says:

    I mail ordered a long sword and my mail man thought it would be funny to put it through my mailbox.

  116. cam says:

    probaly fuses and detonateors no im no teersest i just a a lisence to make and use bomes and the teraeset amgs are cheap also it tells were u know who is bush is serching for him

  117. Baku says:

    I’d have to say the most amazing thing I’ve gotten in the mail is a pair of doves.

  118. Bakelite says:

    Once every year, I receive a box full of old electronic components. These come in very useful, as I repair old radios, but WHO KEEPS SENDING ME THEM?

  119. Wendy says:

    So glad I stumbled upon your site, it’s been very amusing so far! Most amazing thing I’ve ever received–Guitar Hero for my DS as a surprise from my boyfriend, after listening to me talk about it so much.

  120. alex says:

    the weirdest thing i have ever recieved in the mail was a notice to come down to the shipping companys headquarters in toronto (i ive in canada). when i got there they took into the back and showed me my package attached to the underside of a shelf. i had ordered some large and powerful magnets and they had gotten stuck to the shleves. the company had been trying to get them off but decided to contact me instead. they had had the box for 3 days. i took 3 hours to get my box. they asked me never to order magnets again.

  121. A.J.という海賊 says:

    Probably the Master Sword I ordered. I don’t think it’s the real one, though, because the next time I turned on my Legend of Zelda game, Link still had it.
    Also, this one was made in Pakistan.

  122. MrD says:

    I think there’s probably some replacement Biff parts in the box (one of his heads or something)

  123. Ansrit says:

    My dad sent some cool stuff through the mail, since he’s not living with us anymore.

    So far, me and my brothers have gotten the computer I’m currently using (plus the keyboard,screen, mouse and bluetooth speakers!), a Tablet PC, a PS2 (plus a bunch of games for it, and some for the PC), an MP4 player, USB drives, an SD memory card, a separate CD-RW drive that’s connected by an USB cable (this was before the Desktop computer, which includes a DVD-RW/CD-RW drive by itself) and a bunch of other stuff.

    Also, another thing I’ve gotten through the mail is the modem that gives me access to the net, the company ships it to you when you order the service. It’s very cool, you can connect up to four computers with regular Ethernet cables, and one with a USB connection! Plus, it’s ALSO wireless, so I can play on the internet with the Wii without problem!

  124. moradin says:

    umm the strangest thing i got was a jonh wayne 44. black powder buffalow pistol

  125. Random Girl! says:

    Two days ago, I got an empty box.

    The gift I’d ordered had fallen out in transit. 🙁 It was a Charlie Brown moment.

    Speaking of other comics, I just have to mention this one now:
    http://xkcd.com/576/
    also this:
    http://xkcd.com/325/

  126. narwhals says:

    for me it would be a windows ME (millennium edition) computer.

  127. Marscaleb says:

    Received? Nothing special.
    But after working for the Postal Service and learning how the mail actually gets processed, I certainly learned how to SEND things through a little more fun.

    I send CDs in the mail without any cases; just a piece of printer paper folder once over and stapled.

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