#282 – Swing

Happy fourth of July! Looks like another year that I won’t be living my dream of flying in an airplane across the country watching fireworks. I live in a town of around 40 thousand, we have a pretty amazing fireworks display here. I remember when I lived in Boston I was surprised that the fireworks weren’t more impressive. I thought it was going to be 10 times the size. What are the fireworks like where you live?

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0 thoughts on “#282 – Swing”

  1. Shaggy says:

    But at least you don’t have to worry about chain pinch! 😀

  2. Kit-kun says:

    Frist to comment! w00t! Nice comic!

  3. tim says:

    HAHAHAHA nice

  4. Skyshot says:

    That must have been a “frank” disappointment for him.

    At least he’s taking it well. Some people would turn into complete wienies over something like that.

  5. CojoinedCows says:

    No fireworks here.

    Now, something more important: sausages.
    The chain has to support Biffs weight (WB) , which depends on the number of sausages he ate (Se).
    WB = f(Se)
    The chain could maybe support more weight (WS) if it was made of more sausages (Su).
    WS = f(Su)

    If Biffs Weight is greater than the weight the swing can support, he will fall.
    Biff can’t use sausages he has eaten already.
    So,

    Se+ => WB+
    Se+ => Su- => WS-

    WB > WS => “ouch!”

    Ok, I got it now. Biff shouldn’t have eaten any sausages, but used them all for the emergency chain substitute.
    Stupid Biff! Why didn’t you do the math in advance?

  6. Nakita Kitagawa says:

    No fireworks here on the 4th of July. :

  7. Nakita Kitagawa says:

    Dangit. Stupid less-than sign.

    The other half of my comment was, “And the sausage-chain substitute makes me hungry.”

    D:

  8. Caitlin says:

    Curses. That comic is a sausage-craving trigger.
    And we have no 4th July fireworks =(
    We do have Queen’s Birthday fireworks, which were half a month or so ago. Yay sparklies!

  9. jagman says:

    in my old tourist trap of a town we had 2 difrent fireworks displays that were both pretty cool… but in the long run pretty lame…
    but currently there are no displays were i live

  10. Chuck says:

    We don’t watch the big fireworks (though the ones at the Irwindale Speedway looked pretty neat when we drove by it). What we do is light firecrackers in out culdesac. Tons of fun.

    If you want to see a good fireworks show, go to Disneyland. They do an awesome one every night if it’s not too windy.

  11. Bunnyman says:

    They’re illegal… Only theme parks are allowed to fire ’em off. People have been stopped by police over something as trivial as a sparkler. That don’t stop us, though. We usually go out and buy stuff like TNT fountains and such, but we don’t have any major displays.

  12. John says:

    We don’t have large firework festivals over here for 4th of july, but I do have an american family who live in a house behind mine, and every year they must spend about £300 ($600) on a hell of a lot of fireworks. So we do get treated to quite a spectical, best of all it is free.

    There are not many firework feastivals around in the uk, maybe bonfire night, the queens birthday and newyears. So we do like to watch them when they come about, as infrequently as they are.

  13. Sye216 says:

    Fireworks….I used to go to a fireworks party every year where they would set off HUEG illegal fireworks. We had to act casual whenever a police helicopter flew over…good times….

    But, good comic!
    I don’t eat sausage, I am a vegetarian…

  14. dragonbrad says:

    where i live you can watch fireworks from the beech, or her a million firecrackers or screamers.

  15. geeklord says:

    *smirks*

    Most of the fireworks in the area are the ones set off by me. I’ve got a cache of fireworks to shoot off. I’ve got some of everything, from bottle rockets to roman candles. I’ve even got my hands on some mortars, the fireworks you see at professional displays, the ones that explode in the air. Firework’s aren’t technically legal here, but the local police tolerate it. Nothing says “arrest me” like a big ball of flame in the sky.

  16. Eric says:

    The fireworks here are pretty standard compared to all those other dazzling performances at Disneyland or somewhere else. I love them really just because I grew up watching them.

  17. yakboy says:

    I live in Canada. We have some pretty good fireworks around Canada day, but i never get to see them.

    It would RULE if you could build a swing out of meat!!

  18. LightBlade005 says:

    I live in Canada, the fireworks are pretty good (they on a field) then they have several in a line at the end. one time there was a Cannon they fired it scared the crap out of the teenagers 😀

  19. Chell says:

    i really want one of those swings!!

    i live in England, most fireworks here aren’t that good, and they deafen you if you’re within a 5-mile radius

    awesome webcomic

  20. Zhao says:

    w00t!! Finally caught up from day 1.
    Very nice comic!

  21. Chris says:

    Thanks Zhao, I’m glad you liked them. 🙂

  22. Hyshinara says:

    i live in belgium, so we don’t celebrate 4th of july, so, no fireworks
    but when we get fireworks, it’s just some small stuff

  23. Miranda says:

    Texas only sells fireworks twice a year so everyone stockpiles. The only firework shows are done at 3 in the morning while I’m trying to sleep because I have to get up in 2 hours.

  24. Top Rooster says:

    Newburgh, Indiana. Awesome fireworks.

    and Cojoined Cows, your formula is flawed. any sausages below the place that the first sausage is connected puts strain on the sausage chain. Whether biff eats any or not, it will be about the same amount of weight pulling down on the first link. Also, sausages are linked only to support their own weight.

    but now I’m stabbing the joke of the comment, which makes me a nerd.

  25. Top Rooster says:

    btw, is there an obscure search site for every joke or oxymoron site name? I typed in “nope” as my website as a joke, but if you put a .com at the end it becomes one of those sites.

  26. Immotalas says:

    I love your comic! also- sausage swings are awesome.

    I live where fireworks are illigal, except for those little black snake things, and small smoke bombs, so natually, I have a cache of big stuff in my closet. Around 30 morter shells, 4 cases of bottlerockets, 5-6 of those med/large ones that run around $5-$15 (I used most of them around new years), and about 20 of those roman candles. also the misc”water bombs” and black cat crackers. I also have the misc whirlegigs and fountains that many vendors give away free.

    Remember to follow ANY AND ALL safety procedures when handling and using any sort of pyrotechnic device. Unless you wanna look cool, with four fingers, half a face, or some wicked awesome burn marks. Also, one of those morter sells, with some extera cannon fuse, works well in a mailbox on the otherside of town. (remove any mail present in mailbox, because it might be like a picture of grandma or somthing, you know? dont be a jerk. c’mon, i mean, the poor dude is loosing his mailbox, the least you could do is spare a picture of his gradma.)

  27. AG says:

    Around where I live in Iowa they have displays but they’re never any good. Mostly my friends and family get together on someones farm and everyone brings a bag or two of fireworks bought in Indiana or Missouri. Last year the party went on until it became too light out to set off any more and we still had several bags of fireworks left.

  28. Forte says:

    Hey, another Iowan! I usually go out to my aunt’s farm to set off fireworks with my family too. Mainly because it’s a stress reliever for my dad and it’s one of the few holidays where you can celebrate by blowing up a chunk of the country that’s being celebrated and it not seem strange.

  29. Garrett says:

    The Precious Moments chapel in Carthage, MO(I live a town away) used to put on an AWESOME show. Lots of fireworks, many of which exploded in SHAPES! There were hearts, crosses, y’know, Christian shapes. It got so popular(It was free too) that Sam Butcher decided they were taking too much traffic away from other shows(gotta be a friendly neighbor!), so they stopped. 🙁

  30. Angel says:

    I dunno, I always have to work on the 4th of July because my company is run by jerks.

  31. Robbie says:

    I live next to a small town in the suburbs of St. Louis, Missouri, that puts on a HUGE fireworks display every year, 40 minutes worth, but they always do it on the day before the 4th. They don’t tell anybody except their residents, either, so the only way to know when/where it’s going to be is to know a resident. It’s kindof funny to me that they don’t want to share their display(last night of course, and it was awesome), but I guess they can do what they want with their stuff. It’s a great photo op, of course, just set up a tripod in the grocery store parking lot and shoot away…

  32. Lauren says:

    I live in a small Utah town, pop. 750, but we go into the bigger town 5 miles away…pop 1500 to watch the fireworks. The show is decent, still pretty podunk, but the most exciting thing about each years fireworks show is at the end when they light the hill on fire! Without fail! Definitely the best part…my sister says its the only reason she comes home

  33. Radical Edward says:

    From my room in the apartment I’m living in, I get to see great fireworks displays from the mountains.

  34. My little town does a pretty good fireworks display for Canada Day, launching some $12 000 worth of pyrotechnical goodies into the sky. This all happens over the lake, and sometimes large flaming embers hit the water. It’s cool when that happens.

  35. Ela says:

    Wow… There’s a lot of comments here. All I wanted to say was, wow, I remember the way my hands used to hurt after clutching the chains so hard while on the swing… and now I’m hungry.

  36. Colin says:

    Half the people on my block have like 7 or 8 tubes going off at once, and my neighbor across the street has a huge cache of mortars. He owns and uses a 6 inch tube. SIX freakin inches!

  37. Colin says:

    plus every year, the cops say they are crackin’ down harder on fireworks, and every year, they get bigger.
    I live in illinois- the no blowing up the good fireworks state

  38. Scipo says:

    The best part of this comic is how there’s a perfectly good swing directly next to the sausage swing, but Biff decided he had to use his apparent sausage surplus on something. Great comic, it shows Biff has a silly side to his matter-o-fact ways.

  39. geckoman77 says:

    least he can eat them

  40. Oddly Frozen says:

    i didn’t see any fireworks…i was instant messaging my friends while they were going off

  41. Mr_B says:

    ooo…fireworks around where i live? well, i live in california, the land of everything down to chewing gum on a sunday being illegal. so, pretty much any good fireworks display is done very carefully, and never lasts more than 30 seconds, because after that, the fuzz arrives. and most “good” fireworks can only be gotten out of state…or just in mexico.

  42. sole says:

    Well on fourth of July there are no fireworks here…. I ain’t from america but at new years eve we do have some nice fireworks but nothing organized like in new york etc.

  43. Malachite Dragon says:

    We usually go to my grandmothers’ for fireworks.
    My step-grandfather (my grandmother never married my fathers’ father, she married someone else, we call him Grumps because except for when me and my sister are around, he’s grumpy) always stocks an ARSENAL of weaponry- i mean, fireworks to shoot off. We never get to shoot htem all off because there’s so damn many of them and by the time we get 3/4ths of the way through we’ve got red eyes becuase of popped veins in our eyes and ringing ears.
    (I’m deaf and use a cochlear implant- wikipedia it, I’m too lazy to post the link- so I dont have a problem with the ringing ears. 😛 )

  44. Micah says:

    Just out of curiosity, but why didn’t Biff just use the swing behind him? Ah…that’s Biff logic for you, though.

  45. Darkpheonix XIII says:

    An edible swing. I think that has market potential.

  46. Nicki says:

    the fireworks in my hometown were all right…i remember the last fireworks i saw tho were kinda lame…its cool to see the reflection of them on the Rock River, but when there are some huge gaps in time between fireworks kinda dampened the mood…i went to a bigger city to see some way cooler fireworks this year

  47. Eldarwen says:

    Why is he using a sausage chain swing when there is a normal chain swing right next to it?

  48. snakeadelic says:

    One of the very few things I’ll miss about the home I just moved out of is the fireworks…we were up on a ridge in the middle of a valley full of small towns, and I could see like 7 fireworks displays from the high point on the property. Heck, on a clear day I could just about see into a neighboring state!

  49. Ygdra says:

    I live in Juneau Alaska. Every fourth of July we go downtown and watch fireworks get shot off a barge. It’s really spectacular to hear the boom echo off the surrounding mountains. I always think, “somewhere up there some poor bear is getting the piss scared out of him.”
    The thing is it’s technically illegal to sell fireworks here, but the person we buy them from says they have off duty cops come in and get some.

    Thats how we roll up north.

  50. random man says:

    fire works are as big as the ones in boston, becuase it is boston

  51. Alex says:

    3 words. Thunder Over Louisville. its gigantic. example: pyrotech+jets=guess.

  52. cam says:

    there good but i set off my own and the cops know me that well they come over befor i even set them off iv been burned that meany times but its still funny im 23 and iv been doin for 8 years now

  53. Moo says:

    I dont think anyone else said this but… Why dosent he use the swing next to him that has a chain? Or does he have a specific preference on the swing? i remember going to the park once to find that my favorite swing was broken! THE HORROR!

    And i live right up near the capital so yeaaaa, the fireworks ROCK!!! I luv fireworks!<3

  54. Deteramot says:

    Depends on where I am. If I’m at home, we go up to the city and have our own. No rockets, however. If I’m in Jersey, I watch the fireworks across the bay at Ocean City.

  55. Sai says:

    I don’t have any fourth of july fireworks…cuz’ I live in Canada!! (eh?)

  56. Myst says:

    Boring… Arizona is too dry for fireworks…

  57. wertler23 says:

    No fireworks here, I’m in Ireland!!

  58. Ansrit says:

    No fireworks on July 4th, I’m in Mexico! We have them in September though.

  59. Miles says:

    California was poor, I think we had like four fireworks altogether. Sadness.

  60. the walrus says:

    There is a perfectly good swing behind him. Biff is Insane. Like me.

  61. Dorten says:

    We have an annual fireworks show provided by local chemical factory. That’s actually the only good thing coming from it…
    Still superb, though.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5j5we44F2k8

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