#226 – Mail

Apart from birthday cards and the occasional tax refund I don’t get any mail anymore that I actually want to read. I do all my bills and banking online now but I still get tons of mail every week. A get the same exact credit card offer 5 or 6 times a week. I’ve seen them so much I don’t even bother opening them anymore, I just put them straight into the shredder.

Tags

44 thoughts on “#226 – Mail”

  1. Tyler Wood says:

    I showed my dad this one and he is actually going down to OSH tomorrow to get the tools to try to mount our shredder behind our mailbox. I kid you not.

    Just goes to show the genius of Biff! ^_^

  2. random person says:

    wow biff has a lot of mail o.o
    i dont get any mail

  3. Kuroiten says:

    I want one.

    I’d have to find some elaborate way to save documents I wanted, but I want one nonetheless.

  4. Dooley says:

    I used to feel that way until I celebrated the revival of snail mail. Now I have a few friends I actually exchange real mail with. It is so much more personal and exciting to get snail mail than to open an email. Also you can doodle little pictures into the margins and put little extras into the envelope. Snail mail is just awesome.

  5. Poor mail…
    It never even stood a chance…

  6. Tinned Moron says:

    Try paying for the credit card offers using coupons, I mysteriously stopped getting them for a while after I tried that.

  7. dragonbrad says:

    what if he gets a note saying he won the lotterey and he shredded the money

  8. Rogue says:

    I feel sorry for the postman when he sticks his hand in the box… Think of how much he’s going to spend on a shrink because of his new nickname, ‘Stubby’.

  9. Nicole says:

    I know what you mean about getting too much mail.

    I followed the instructions on the following link and my junk mail has been reduced to almost nothing.

    Now, the few fliers I get go immediately into the shredder, and then into the compost bin, where my worms turn that junk into something useful for my garden.

    Check out the link below. It may help you with your junk problem.

    http://www.ciwmb.ca.gov/WPW/Home/JunkMail.htm

  10. gobbledegook says:

    Biff needs to get an incinerator to drop the shreddings in. Then it would make a very satisfying *Foomp* sound every time he got mail.

    Thanks, Nicole! I’m definitely trying out the link!
    🙂

  11. Wannabeelf says:

    Dooley, that is so true if only i could get my boyfriend to understand that. then maybe i wouldn’t have to yell at him to get him to write to me from Basic Training.

    Chris, i don’t know what kind of shredder you have, but with ours (and it’s a really good one) the little plastic cards they send are actually very bad for it. no plastic or metal of any kind is suposed to go through that slot. maybe you should open the offers only to remove the plastic bits to prolong the life of your equipment.

    1. extremist343 says:

      If you switch the metal blades out with ones made of silicon carbide or similarly strong blades then you’ll be able to shred plastic cards easily.

  12. Kristen says:

    That reminds me that I need to put a shredder in my mailbox.

  13. Amy says:

    Ingenius!! Wouldn’t that spook the mailperson the first time!! HAHAHAHA

  14. Reikon Ame says:

    What would happen if a love letter came? And if there are two post like this it’s because of my computer not showing my last.

    1. extremist343 says:

      You mean for Biff? or for other people? I’m sure that somehow Biff will have accounted for non-junk mail. For other people, they can only hope that they will have accounted for such things. Me personally, I would never get a love letter, none of the available women where I live are capable of love.

  15. coebruh13 says:

    Absolutely brilliant!

  16. Anna Arkadyevna says:

    ahah, Biff’s really bright ^^

  17. Jenna says:

    Wow, I kinda wish I got more mail..

    I get my bank statement, the occasional credit card offer… and my shonen jump magazine.

    I can’t wait for my tax refund, though! That makes for a happy day!

    (right about the snail mail, though… it’s an amazing feeling to get mail addressed to you from a friend)

  18. dragonbrad says:

    my dad came up with an idea of a dog mail box that faces towards the house,so when the mail man puts the mail in,it goes up the dogs butt,and it makes a “rooww” sound when you shove the mail in

  19. Jokuki says:

    wow that shredder looks so awesome!!!!But why the flag?Hes never going to have mail XD.

    ~
    Heh heh moo…

  20. Rikapuppy says:

    I need a shredder in my mailbox too. xD Biff could invent like.. The new MailShredder 2000. It fits in your mailbox! 😀 I’d buy one for my mailbox.

  21. Nova Namina Riff says:

    Its not fair! In England we dont have mailboxes. But I suppose you could always put a shredder in the letterbox…. why do they call them letterboxes though? They’re not even boxes their just insignificant holes in your door that let draughts in…..Meh…..

    I feel slightly better now. Great comic Chris!

  22. Wannabeelf says:

    in america, we call those slots in the door ‘mail slots.’ drafts aside, i actually wish i had one because then i wouldn’t have to drag my big, fat, lazy, and pasty american ass outside to get the mail.

    i’m even too lazy to press the shift key, see[question mark] stupid question mark making it harder to make my point by needing the pressing of the shift key…

  23. Nova Namina Riff says:

    The fun thing about letter boxes though is when the postman comes. You hide behind the door and when he puts the letters in, when their about an inch in you grab them and the poor guy jumps about half a mile from the doorstep. If he doesnt expect that I dont know what will happen to him with a shredder. (evil grin)

  24. 66point6 says:

    We burn our mail. Illegally, I might add. But it’s contained in an old, broken, sawed-in-half water barrel, so it’s ok.

  25. Twilight says:

    But what will he do when he gets birthday and christmas cards from relatives with money in them?!

  26. monoXcide says:

    With everyone going green now-a-days, its a wonder if junk mail will ever be outlawed due to wasting paper.

  27. Mint Sharpie says:

    Good lord. The laughter! It hurts!

  28. pieman says:

    i want a mailbox just so i can do that

  29. Radical Edward says:

    I don’t get that much mail, mostly kids magazines (I’m letting the subscription run to the end), paychecks, birthday cards and the occasional “We miss you” from Weight Watchers.

    I only went to one miss and they send a “We miss you” card. I ended up losing weight from sleeping, which meant missing a majority of breakfast, lunch and dinner.

  30. Rosie says:

    Now *that’s* a good idea! I finally checked my mail after about a week and a half and instead found a slip from the post office saying I’ll have to get it from the office because the mailbox was full. Full of junk, that is. I thought of just asking them to keep it.

  31. Vickster says:

    Of course, it was only after Biff mistakenly shredded the will his father left to him to look after that he found out he would’ve gotten the entire £12million estate.

  32. Darkpheonix XIII says:

    This wouldn’t work for me. It’d ruin the Netflix.

  33. Peter says:

    Hehe, This would be a good idea.
    I just recently found out about the ability to opt-out of prescreened credit card offers here in the US. It’s like the federal do-not-call list, but it’s for junk mail.
    https://www.optoutprescreen.com/

    Now if only someone could offer a do-not-spam ability for my email account. My spam filter was running great, until the other day when it marked two emails from friends as spam, and so I had to turn it off, who knows what it’s trashed that I didn’t notice!

  34. barbara says:

    I knew there was some reason I specially saved this, which had been sent to me by a friend. Another friend sent something else helpful (per Andy Rooney, I think): open the junk mail, and if there’s a prepaid return envelope stuff their junk in and return it to them. The effort is worth not losing important stuff, and gives them a taste of their own medicine. Until it hits them in their pockets to send us this stuff, it won’t be outlawed.

    Don’t I have great friends?

  35. Elkian says:

    He better be recycling…

  36. Bug says:

    Nah, if its gonna get shredded the minute the letter enters the box, I don’t want it. I want to have fun placing the offending bills, credit card applications and miscellaneous offers one by one into the mouth of the shredder… bliss.

    Unfortunately, our shredder at home broke because someone had placed a staple-bound document through it, jamming the teeth and causing a bit of smoke.

    Burning paper stinks.

  37. Finn says:

    I bet Biff forgets the shredder one day and goes to check his mail and puts his hand in the box…

  38. the walrus says:

    I never get spam of any kind in my email. I do, however, have 750, or more unread SAT questions of the day in my mailbox. Good thing I have yahoo.

  39. Sally says:

    Better than the Breader.

  40. Howls Like Wolf says:

    I like using their postage paid envelopes to tell them to not send me any more mail. That way, they have had to pay for my “no” reply! I almost never get a second offer from whoever sent me the first unsolicited offer.

Leave a Reply to Rikapuppy Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *